The Van Helsings

May 10th, 2009

Takes every girl back to that special moment they got their first crossbow.

(submitted by Matt)

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537 Responses to “The Van Helsings”

  1. matt says:

    being a non-white male with antlers and a fluffy tail… this picture just made me nervous….

  2. marta says:

    GOD! xD

  3. brandt says:

    thank god they were also able to wear their mathews brand shirts to compliment their bows. i think i see sponsorship in the making!

    “mathews: providing your one stop shop for the archery needs of the whole family!”

  4. Lindsay says:

    is this the photo that started all the compound bow jokes?????

  5. Roger says:

    Reading way too much into this, but I wonder:
    Did the mom and dad meet at an archery range and get together out of fanatical devotion to a common hobby or was the archery thing dad (or mom’s) thing and the spouse took it up as well.

    I wonder if, instead of saying “goodbye” in that household, it’s more like: “Godspeed, good husband! May your arrow be true and your quiver never empty!”

    “Aye, mine wife, and may your eye be as of the eagle and your aim that of Artemis this eve upon which we embark on our quest for vile raccoon who hath transgressed upon our yard waste bin.”

    Or words to that effect.

  6. nathan says:

    Just think if they all had crossbows….now that would have been emberrassing.

  7. Annie says:

    There are a lot of comments on here… I just added one more! YES!!!! I feel so special! :)

  8. AmberG says:

    Speaking as someone whose Christmas phot was a pic of the children sitting on top of hubby’s newly dead bear…what’s wrong with the photo? lol (just for the record have now seen so much of WildTV that am now cheering for the animals…) and btw I do not hunt but I do know those are compound bows not crossbows…which is just plain sad.

    • Jane says:

      I think what’s wrong with this photo is that these people seem to, um, like each other and do something fun together. Horrific, isn’t it? :-P

      • Graembo says:

        Well, they have to! If they were as dysfunctional as a normal family, someone would lose an eye!

        • Tui says:

          i thinks its funny that they took the time to take there bows to the photo place to get it done special, that and it whole completely randomness

  9. MS says:

    Is it wrong that I find it adorable that one of the bows is pink?
    :D

  10. lorie l says:

    I LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. ~Dune!~ says:

    Too much to say here, but I FINALLY get all the compound bow comments I’ve been reading on other pix!

    JEEZ!

  12. Romeo says:

    A family that crossbow hunts together, stays together!!!

  13. springjack says:

    Well, I know who I’M calling the next time I have to fight French mounted knights at Crecy.

  14. chris says:

    This poor guy needs a son – seriously

  15. FunAunt says:

    Now I get the compound bow jokes! Hilarious. Could someone now explain the regulation size casserole dish jokes? : )

  16. Blahblah says:

    That pic would have been more awkward with assault rifles :D

  17. Jane says:

    Sorry, I don’t think this picture is awkward per se. Okay, they have an unusual hobby, but otherwise, they are good-looking parents with cute kids. There is none of the “I hate these people but am forced to sit uncomfortably close to them” vibe here, like in the truly awkward finds. There are lots of families in which everyone plays the same sport or rides horses — how is this any different? Personally, I’d rather learn archery for a PE credit than play volleyball (and yes, I’m female). I give the parents kudos for teaching their girls to kick ass.

    • Graembo says:

      No lie, Jane! My brothers got to play league soccer and camp and lash in Boy Scouts. I was stuck with ballet and a girl scout troop that wanted to learn how to apply makeup. It was debutante training, and I only recently learned how to drive a stick-shift when I rebelled and became a trucker!

    • donuteyes says:

      what makes it awkward is that it’s an entire family posing with something. it doesn’t matter what it is, if you see a photo of a family and every member is wearing theme clothing and holding similar items, it’s awkward. it doesn’t matter what the activity is! and anyway, you can’t possibly think that this guy lives with FOUR female crossbow hunting enthusiasts, can you? one or two, maybe, but four… that’s a stretch.

      • abbymom says:

        Why is it hard to believe that a whole family can enjoy the same sport? Believe me, it happens! Maybe not in every family, but for some of us, it works!

  18. Mike says:

    I think it would be wise to never really make this family angry. How would you like to be the guy from the Homeowners’ Association having to go over there and telling this guy to mow his yard? Look at smirk on his face! He would probably take him out. Good thing he doesn’t know where I olive, having said that!

    • Thanatos says:

      And arrows are DAMN hard to trace back to the owner/weapon, unlike bullets. As long as you don’t leave prints or buy hard to find arrows, it’s almost impossible to match an arrow to a bow…….and they’re nice and quiet!!!

  19. amber hansen says:

    And all I got for Christmas was a set of knives!

  20. Damon says:

    Don’t get this family angry, they will give you a “compound” fracture

  21. Carlos says:

    The Van Helsings …. Um … aren’t they that famous family of vampire killers ??? NOW this makes sense… Silver tipped wooden arrows… straight to the heart…

  22. mark says:

    They’re compound bows…Just to clarify one more time. MUahahahahahahaha!

  23. LeGrande says:

    Um, I don’t know if anyone’s said this, but those aren’t really crossbows. I mean, they’re not angry at all.

    And crossbows backwards: swobssorc.

  24. Aivlis says:

    Oh god! This reminds me of my family, except two girls instead of three. My dad never had any sons either. I’m so glad I can be honest with my dad and tell him I never want to hunt again. This brings back font memories of my dad creating mock blood trails with red finger nail polish for me and my sister.

  25. Aivlis says:

    I think bright pink and blue bows are going to scare the deer away, just sayin’.

  26. BRAD says:

    I like the girl with the pink bow. She’ll shoot you but she’ll be very lady like about it

  27. Brandy says:

    I think they should go to the Thanks Giving dinner and help the guest out with Aunty M.

  28. MWarrior says:

    At least these parents were cool enough not to make their daughters wear their bows in their hair…

  29. Samianne says:

    Um…Imagine any young gentleman coming a calling and seeing this in the living room. Best deterrant even.

    “You want to what to my daughter (or sister)?”

  30. JT says:

    How many deer would a family kill if a family could kill deer? A family would kill as many deer as a family could if a family could kill deer. Sing song this to the woodchuck rhyme.

  31. Nate says:

    Wow, an online (and awkward) arguement about a photo. That’s provin’ your case!!!

  32. Kyla says:

    Those are actually compound bows, not crossbows like what Van Helsing used, which are designed to aim and fire more like a rifle. Just sayin’.

  33. Hannah says:

    That rocks.

  34. Bobo says:

    First, there isn’t a crossbow in the lot.

    Second, if you think hunting is evil, you’re ef-ing clueless.

  35. Summer says:

    Don’t mess with…this family!

  36. Ms. Nessa says:

    Anyonewho actually agrues on a site that is supposed to be funny is whack. You wanna talk debate? Watch CNN or something. But anywhoo, NICE family pic. Priceless. My family never let us use potentially deadly weapons…although, I was always nest to my older sister, so that prolly why.

  37. Mr. Obvious says:

    Too bad they aren’t crossbows. o.O

  38. zee says:

    if you don’t have a crossbow, you’re not allowed to be in the family.

  39. giftfish says:

    Nothing wrong with being a Mathews Family. My Family could take that same photo. Only we have the hats too. Although I hope someone did look to see if those were loaded. My cousin… He was a good man

  40. Jamesk says:

    why did they photoshop out the crossbows?

  41. BEEZO says:

    okay…..so who is gonna be the first young man to knock on the door and ask one of the young ladies (of dating age) for a date?…….hmmmm?

  42. Heather says:

    Why oh why must they make weapons in PINK???? Arrrrraaaaaggggggghhhhhhh!!! Sorry if a girl’s gonna shoot Bambi, she is most definately not a princess. Just sayin…
    In N. America, habitat destruction and the overpopulation of humans has done far more damage to predator and prey than any kind of hunting. That said, trophy hunting should be banned. Hunting for meat is ok.

  43. CLR says:

    So many assumptions! Perhaps they are practicing for the Olympics!!

  44. bobo says:

    Now there’s a guy who said, “I just gotta’ have a son but i guess i’ll stop at three.”

  45. Meghan says:

    I didn’t bother reading all the posts, so if this has been said already, I apologize.
    Those are not crossbows. They’re modern bows, as in Bows & Arrows. Crossbows are decidedly shorter, with bolts maybe a foot in length. They’re for power and precision at long distances, and were better than using longbows.
    Those bows in the photo above are very nice. They’re expensive, top of the line bows, so they probably do hunt with them. And they’re probably fairly accurate.

    Good going, family! A family that hunts together pays less in the grocery store. :)

  46. WI_DJ says:

    When you have a hobby, do it but don’t feel that it’s a great idea to get the whole family in on it. This is just ghey. $20 says only dad still uses his, the rest sit in a closet probably in Dad’s basement.

  47. haha says:

    oh my got ….

  48. XP says:

    Adam says:
    May 11, 2009 at 6:42 am
    Those are compound bows, not crossbows.

    Still the best.

  49. Ivan says:

    To be fair, these all appear to be target bows. Not that it really matters, but it kind of negates the hunting comments. Archery used to be a huge sport in this country, so at least it is nice to see a family that is into it. Ok, maybe a bit TOO into it, but it beats sitting around watching TV and playing video games all day. At least they’re doing it together as a family.

  50. Shannon F says:

    I would hate to be there if that family started arguing.

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