Awkward Family Story: Tats

July 3rd, 2009

It was my Nana and Grandad’s 50th wedding anniversary, and there was this big party for them held at my uncle’s house. I’d been avoiding showing them a tattoo I have on my hip in fear that they’ll judge me and disown me somehow.

In a moment where I forgot how short I was, I stretched out for my tattoo to be on show for all to see. At first my Nana looked shocked, until she announced to my family;
“No need to worry Kate, me and your grandfather each one have on our bottoms. He swats my butterfly and I chase his steam train on a regular basis…”

Awkward.

(submitted by Kate)

60 Responses to “Awkward Family Story: Tats”

  1. mc says:

    What the…?

  2. karebear says:

    this is a situation where TMI and ear muffs should have been yelled!

  3. May Ann Naze says:

    Thank you. I look forward to the day when I can say whatever I dang well want because I’m an old woman and nobody would dare speak up against it.

  4. LeeAnn says:

    Thank you for the clarification. I was confused too. It was a lot funnier with it.

  5. drzoidbong says:

    that’s just awesome

  6. Jane says:

    but i think that is sweet. youre grandma’s quite cool.

  7. lanabee says:

    TMI, but otherwise…. Rockin’ grandparents, in my opinion!

  8. Krysia says:

    My ex boyfriend’s grandparents would say stuff just like this! It used to embarrass him, but I thought it was fantastic.

  9. Ray says:

    Reminds me of the time I first showed my grandmother my new tattoo. She replied by pointing to her belly button and stating that she had a tattoo of an eagle on her stomach but it flew away leaving only its a$$hole behind.

  10. Cyberg00se says:

    For my grandma and graddad to have ink would be AWESOME. I got ink in honor of both grandfathers, and neither would have approved. The other one has some great sailor jerry stuff and totally doesn’t appreciate it. I’ll be forever long-sleeved around grandma, who, when we last went out to eat, tried to cut my food for me. I’m 34. We live in different countries, so hiding it is easy, for now. But still, I had to get it done, and will get more.

    Not awkward (I hope!), but funny! And cool as hell!

  11. cynthia says:

    eww lol

  12. GUIDO says:

    BOOOO!!!! Heard this joke years ago..you should screen this stuff…this has been a joke for years…

  13. Kate (The one who wrote the story) says:

    It is a real story! I should have proof read it myself before I sent it in, what I meant to say was; “I didn’t realise how short my shirt was” and when I stretched out…as in yawned…thats when my Nan saw it. And it is exactly what she said, it might sound weird, but we’re english!

  14. lovedoctormike says:

    Can I borrow her grandparents for one day at school?

  15. Bubba says:

    I guess I’m dim–actually, I know I’m dim–but I don’t understand this. Can someone please explain?

  16. Stacey says:

    Stop with the grammar check and the photoshop call-outs — enjoy it for the awkwardness the site has!!

  17. Larry N says:

    New to the Awkward photo site.Wheres the photo?When you’re in line at wallyworld behind
    an over the hill person with neck tats ask sincerelyDo varicose veins on your neck hurt very much?

  18. Rachel says:

    How can it be on her hip and then be put on display..huh? what must she have been wearing? Maybe I am just a dumb blond but I don’t get it. This little story was not worth posting in my opinion.

  19. JJC says:

    OK maybe I’m dense but what does being short have to do with it?

  20. Araxie says:

    Anybody else want her grandparents?

  21. Kate (not the same Kate) says:

    I love the stories, awkward or not, but I’ve got to agree with the others in saying that they need to be proof-read. “Me and your grandfather each one have on our bottoms”? C’mon now. I know what this is supposed to stay, but still, the faulty grammar trips me up.

    • beuth says:

      You know what it’s supposed to stay?
      Ok, sorry, couldn’t resist the smart-ass comment (like I’ve never made a typo), but I agree, grammatical awkwardness isn’t nearly as entertaining as the photographic (and sometimes narrative) variety.

  22. Emily says:

    hahahaha
    That’s funny

  23. Tommy says:

    Awkward is knowing that someone found this awkward.

  24. Mikki says:

    I think its cute…but I guess if it happened to me it would be kinda awkward

  25. Nan Bans says:

    Doesn’t sound awkward, doesn’t sound true either.

    • katie says:

      Agreed. I call bulls***.

      In general I vote for revision like Coco suggested above. I can’t understand half of these stories. I’d be happy to help rewrite them.

  26. Mollie says:

    And THAT’S why they made it to their 50th!!!

  27. Jason says:

    It is not awkward, just a little “cheeky”.

  28. borrowedcrime says:

    Old people are awesome.

  29. holly says:

    Those sound like badass grandparents.
    F*** the haters, I LOVE these stories!

  30. Amy says:

    Salsa. Horizontal salsa!!

  31. Penny says:

    Chuga chuga chuga chuga CHOO CHOO!

  32. Lorraine says:

    That’s not awkward, that’s awesome!

  33. 9021-iz0 says:

    Chooo Chooo!

  34. stef says:

    Great story…sounds like awesome grandparents!! LOL!

  35. Coco says:

    “In a moment where I forgot how short I was, I stretched out for my tattoo to be on show for all to see. ”

    What? That doesn’t make sense. If she stretched out FOR her tat to be on show, then it’s not an accident and she did it on purpose…? I think maybe you guys should start writing the stories (or cleaning them up at least) so they make sense.

    • DOGSAREPAWSOME says:

      awkward comment.

    • letsroll says:

      I totally agree.

    • Norwegian Stud says:

      Freeze, Grammar police!

      HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE EM!

      STEP AWAYY FROM THE KEYBOARD!!

    • Jonathan says:

      I agree with Coco… How would forgetting how short you are cause you to reveal a tatoo on your hip? If she was taller it wouldn’t be revealed? Makes absolutely no sense.

      • Russell says:

        Likely she reached for something in a high up cabinet, and her shirt lifted. if she was taller, she wouldn’t have had to stretch so far and her shirt would not have come up.

        • N says:

          her tattoo is on her HIP. Not back.

          So i still believe this story doesnt make any sense.

          Amen to Coco.

          • Russell says:

            If you reach up with ONE hand, the shirt comes up only on the side that the arm goes up on. Try it.

          • Jim says:

            I agree with Coco. Even if there’s some way for this story to make sense, the author doesn’t explain it well enough for us to have any sense of what actually happened beyond pure speculation. There needs to be a narrative link between forgetting how short you are and exposing your hip tattoo that just isn’t present here.

          • Vanessa says:

            holy cow, people. are you serious?! are you saying that when you read this story, you didn’t understand what happened and what she meant? quit being so darned picky. if she wanted to publish a book, I’m sure she would have proofread and edited more.

            the tattoo being located ANYWHERE below her bellybutton and above her naughty bits makes it fair game to be seen when she stretches…and she doesn’t specify whether or not she’s stretching with one hand or both or whatever. She just stretched and revealed, okay? sheesh.

  36. Knight of Cydonia says:

    Oh goodness..that IS awkward!

  37. Dancin' Homer says:

    I don’t mind these stories like some. But again, I think the interpretation of “awkward” is being stretched a little thin. This isn’t awkward – it’s funny. Nothing wrong with funny! If my grannie had said that at a family gathering, the reaction would have been laughter; I’d have to imagine it was the same at this gathering.

    The reaction during an awkward moment would be grimacing and nervous looks. If instead of laughing, you all grimaced and gave each other nervous looks, then you all need to lighten up!

  38. Brandon says:

    Sounds like grandparent code for doing the horizontal polka…

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