Awkward Family Story: The Funeral
July 14th, 2009
When I was pregnant with my first child, my Grandma passed away. I didn’t have anything to wear to the funeral, so I had to settle on a low-cut maternity blouse that made my breasts look enormous and made me very self-conscious. After the funeral, one of my aunts approached me and in front of the entire family, loudly announced: “You are getting a fabulous chest!!!” I turned six shades of red and blurted out defensively, “I can’t help it. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve gone up a couple of cup sizes.” She was actually referring to a chest of drawers that I had unknowingly inherited….um…yeah…very awkward.
(submitted by Lori)
Tags: babies
yeah, ok.
you would be surprised what is being descused at a funeral, everything from cakes, to bibles.
great story. Hahah.
Definitely fake
Reminds me of an old aunt of mine. Knew exactly what every elderly person in the family who died was giving to who. When she would find out one of these folks was in poor health she would go to visit, but the only thing she would talk about was who was getting what. Got thrown out of several homes over her life time. No one ever left her a thing. She died without a will.
Gee guys – shame on you regulars for being distracted by the whole Boy Scout thing. Down here our Kiwi cubs don’t have anything so grand so maybe that helped (we prefer something a little more understated – slap on the back and a “good on ya mate”). This is so clearly a historic moment – you’d pose for a family photo too if you’d just discovered the first ancestral van Helsing arrow (circa 1892) fired from the family’s first bow with its string made of thousand-ply bison tail hair handtwisted over a long hard winter by grandma.
Speaking of arrows, your aim with this comment is a bit off….
There’s a reason Australia is more popular.
Ragtatter-you’re genius! That was hilarious!!
Back in aunts day chests were furniture.Bosoms were neither shown or discussed in public.
You go,Auntie.
but inheritances were? at the funeral?? really???
It could have been worse…your grandma could have left a nice gun rack, or antique jugs
Snort!
very funny – only story that has made me laugh so far
I am crying. My stomach hurts. My favorite part is the “I can’t help it…”
A picture would really hammer this story home, i think.
. . . at which point I (if I had been her husband) would have snaked by arm around her and made some very smart-a**ed remark about how thoroughly I enjoyed this fabulous chest as well. After all, some things a man is just proud of!
Again, boring.
Best. Story. On. This. Site. Period.
Great story! Great writing of your “awkward story”–I laughed out loud!
agreed
D’oh!
That is too hilarious!
I do believe this requires a photo as well.
Yup, pics of her chest of it didn’t happen!
Now THAT’S a good awkward story! Good on you Lori for showing them how it’s done!
This is just hilarious
It totally made my day!
I’m glad you can laugh about it now!!
The most embarrassing and awkward moments occurred when I was pregnant. I keep imagining the aunt saying this in the price is right announcer voice.
Ha, I knew the comments would be good at this story but this one takes the chest, er, cake!
Best. Awkward Story. Ever.
Totally agree.
Oh, that’s hysterical! Poor you!!
BWAHAHAHAA! Awesome!
Oh, that is hilarious! Thank you for the much needed chuckle! How embarrassing, indeed!
This didn’t come with a photo attached???? lol
Yikes!
Sounds way too sitcom-y to be real. I think this story has been photoshopped.
Agreed. Skeptical thoughts….
What is the point of trying to prove this story to be a lie? Are you trying to deny the rest of us the joy of a good story, put down someone who is generous enough to share said story or bolster your own pathetic life by putting someone else down?
Oh, come on–it was a joke!! (As are most of the photoshopped comments, btw . . . )
All of the above, darling.
Uh, come on now. You can’t seriously think you can “photoshop” a comment, do you?
Bless your heart.
Lol@ CJ for missing the point and putting “photoshop” into “quotations”
LOL!
oh come on, moments like this really do happen
I don’t understand the cynicism with some of these comments. It’s on the internet, and you’ll never know if it’s true or not; nor does it even matter. It doesn’t affect anything if you enjoy the story, but your skeptical comments are ruining it for the rest of us who are too naive to see through it.
Oh that’s awesome.
This is so awkward…and funny. You made my day!
This one is fantastic!
Wow i have enver known anyone to inherit two diffrent chests so soon together.
lol
Um-smooooooth moment
Yeah – completely cringe making; but she’s looking back and laughing, so all’s well! And it’s a great story…
Oh that is a GREAT story! Thank you for sharing Lori and I hope you have made good use of the chest…
I totally blame the Aunt for this one. Whenever someone talks about my fabulous chest I certainly don’t automatically think they’re discussing my furniture! Besides she should feel proud to be sporting a nice rack… Don’t get offended, maybe I’m discussing the antlers on her living room wall!
I agree. And who talks about the inheritance at the funeral.
Lol! And you’re exactly right–the word “dresser” is a better choice because it lacks the ambiguity of “chest.”
Yeah, I have to admit that my first thought when I read this was that it was extremely tactless you your aunt to bring that up at the funeral. The awkwardness is ALL hers, my dear.
LOL I swear that could have been me! Thank god it wasn’t! LOL