Awkward Family Story: Big in Texas

July 15th, 2009

My mother was a beautiful woman but of low self image. To compensate for this, she liked to wear revealing clothing. We still tell stories of the backless “Victoria Secret” dress my mother would wear to pick us up at school. Still knowing all of this, I invited my future husband (then boyfriend) to meet my mother. I tried to build her up for him, saying she was tall and good looking… so we walk up to her door and ring the door bell. The entrance is a good 6 inches higher then the entrance step. My mother throws opens the door and is wearing nothing but a string bikini made out of the Texas Flag, star on one DD size boob, red and blue strip on the other exactly at my husbands eye level… Awkward.

(submitted by Kyra)

50 Responses to “Awkward Family Story: Big in Texas”

  1. j_bryon says:

    This probably did win him over for you. He was probably thinking, “If this is what she is going to look like someday, I’m IN!”

  2. Johnny says:

    Uhhh, picture please…

  3. El Kev says:

    You know, it’s really your own fault. If you knew your mother did things like this, you should have informed her you were bringing him over or something. Also, most people I know with “low self image” do anything they can to cover up, not overcompensate.

  4. Tocsnai says:

    “Made out of” the Texas flag? Is this a case of desecrating the flag of the Lone Star State?

  5. Craig says:

    This story is useless without pics. Lots of pics.

  6. Andrew says:

    Your husband is a brave man.

  7. mel says:

    this is more sad than awkward.

  8. Dave says:

    Dear AFP Forum: I never thought it would happen to me …

  9. Becky says:

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  10. Rich says:

    I guess ya had ta be there.

  11. WVBOBW says:


  12. Ingrid says:

    I agree the outcome of this story is awkward and embarrassing, but why did she feel it necessary to tell her boyfriend how tall and beautiful her mother was? “Oh you’re gonna love Mom! She’s so tall and beautiful!” That in itself is awkward.

    • Penny says:

      Hmm I nead to read the story again. I read it to say that she told her mom how tall and beautiful she was, to help build her self esteem up.

  13. molly says:

    If Mom is still living, this is beyond awkward!

  14. terry says:

    please-no more stories just photos
    they are never worth reading

    • margaret says:

      LOL, i agree…this is awkward family PHOTOS after all, isn’t it?

    • Then don’t read them?

    • Joel says:

      Please, no more of your comments; they aren’t worth reading.

      Just look at the photos and ignore the stories if they bother you so much. Or, hey, maybe go find or create another site.


      Really, people like Terry, we get that you don’t like the stories, but maybe others do. What we don’t get is how either you can’t skip past them or your not being able to skip past them has to be everyone else’s problem.

    • DonKeyHoTay says:

      The stories are often a nice intermission between photos, like cleansing the palate between awkward wine samples at an awkward wine tasting event…

  15. Zed says:

    And that indicated low self esteem?

    • fearbiter says:

      that’s what i was thinking…hate think what, if anything, she would wear if she had high self esteem.

      • tour86rocker says:

        If she had high self esteem, she wouldn’t need to demand that kind of attention at that kind of moment.

  16. jenjen says:

    yup, you win

  17. Natalie says:

    Wow…now THAT’S embarrassment, folks. Does this have any bearing on why that boyfriend wanted to join the family, permanently?

  18. Brennan says:

    Everything is bigger in Texas, embarrassment is no exception

  19. JoMama says:

    Please tell me you have a picture of mom in said bikini…that would be so awesomely awkward that it would make my day!

  20. flutter says:

    that’s my mom

  21. John III says:

    We NEED to see a picture of your mom!

  22. Gravy-Locks says:

    QUOTE: “…string bikini made out of the Texas Flag, star on one DD size boob…”

    ……and I for one would like to meet your mother.

  23. Ken says:

    What no picture =]

  24. kristin says:

    I think a photo would have made this a better story. 😉

  25. Mark says:

    I will probably not be alone when I say I think we need a picture of this.

  26. sabastian says:

    So, where is a family photo including your hot mom?

  27. Bob says:

    “throws opens the door”? wouldn’t that know him over?

  28. Brandon says:

    Uhhhhhhh, what? I think this goes beyond awkward and borders on disturbing.

  29. Mr. Honest Nolye says:


  30. . says:

    How is that awkward? Got you a husband, didn’t it?

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