Archive for July, 2009

Awkward Family Story: Big in Texas

My mother was a beautiful woman but of low self image. To compensate for this, she liked to wear revealing clothing. We still tell stories of the backless “Victoria Secret” dress my mother would wear to pick us up at school. Still knowing all of this, I invited my future husband (then boyfriend) to meet my mother. I tried to build her up for him, saying she was tall and good looking… so we walk up to her door and ring the door bell. The entrance is a good 6 inches higher then the entrance step. My mother throws opens the door and is wearing nothing but a string bikini made out of the Texas Flag, star on one DD size boob, red and blue strip on the other exactly at my husbands eye level… Awkward.

(submitted by Kyra)

In Stories • July 15th, 2009 • 50 Comments »

What About Grandma?

These kids with their fancy kneeshelfs.

(submitted by Mike)

In AFP Hall of Fame • July 14th, 2009 • 208 Comments »

I See You

Don’t tease us.

(submitted by AP)

In Siblings • July 14th, 2009 • 141 Comments »

Bullseye

All those hopes and dreams of him becoming a doctor just don’t seem important anymore.

In The Family Portrait • July 14th, 2009 • 136 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: The Funeral

When I was pregnant with my first child, my Grandma passed away. I didn’t have anything to wear to the funeral, so I had to settle on a low-cut maternity blouse that made my breasts look enormous and made me very self-conscious. After the funeral, one of my aunts approached me and in front of the entire family, loudly announced: “You are getting a fabulous chest!!!” I turned six shades of red and blurted out defensively, “I can’t help it. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve gone up a couple of cup sizes.” She was actually referring to a chest of drawers that I had unknowingly inherited….um…yeah…very awkward.

(submitted by Lori)

In Stories • July 14th, 2009 • 59 Comments »