Awkward Family Story: Me Whom

August 5th, 2009

When my husband and I first became engaged, we went over to his mother’s house to make the announcement official. We walked into the living room; his arm was around my shoulder; and she was sitting on the sofa. He said, “Mom, we’re getting married!” She lowered her reading glasses; she looked at her son; she looked at me; she looked back at her son and replied, “Oh really? To whom?” AWKWARD.

(submitted by Lynda)

53 Responses to “Awkward Family Story: Me Whom”

  1. Delia says:

    when i first read this, i thought “i think she said that because she wanted to make a joke of it. the correct term is ‘we’re getting married… to each other’ ..” but then i read some of the comments… looks like most of you guys issues with MIL 🙂 that’s got to be tough!

  2. Twin by Another Mother says:

    Wow, this is practically my story too. My MIL said almost the same thing, but then added, “well it will have to be a long distance engagement, because we’re moving to Florida.” She put her house on the market the very next day. Fortunately, the house took 2 years to sell, and our wedding took place before they moved. She hosted the rehearsal dinner at her home, but it was ruined because a few hours before everyone arrived she announced they had gotten rid of my future husband’s dog. She hated all animals, but especially this dog. She claimed they took it to a forest preserve and set it free, but I’ve never really been sure she didn’t have it put to sleep. All I know is that instead of spending time getting ready for our big day, we spent hours at the forest preserve and calling animal shelters trying to find his beloved dog. He was just devastated. Many years later, the dog incident was brought up by my mother-in-law’s, own mother-in-law after a few too many glasses of champagne (to celebrate the holiday). Tempers flared, my father-in-law stormed off to the airport, followed by his aging mother back to Florida. With dinner cut short, I asked my mother-in-law the next day what happened to the uncarved turkey. She said since she was returning to Florida too, she threw it over the fence to the raccoons that lived in the vacant wooded lot next to their vacation cottage… Yep, can you spell dysfunctional? My husband and I have been married 30 years and what can I say, life can be interesting…. Life is too short to hang onto resentments, so instead we look for the humor and with the passage of time can laugh at the craziness…

  3. Jessica says:

    I can totally relate to that. My husband and I dated for a couple of years before we got married. We were over to his step-sister’s house and she mentioned that Kenneth and Jessica are over visiting. Her mother’s reply, “Who?” “You know your daughter in law!?” “I thought her name was Ashley!” Really?

  4. T$ says:

    i’m glad she asked, “To Whom?” and not “To Who” because that would just be grammatically incorrect

  5. Kat says:

    I feel so bad for you dear, my fiancee I just announced my engagement to my future MIL and she was ecstatic about her son being married. She then brought me into a spare bedroom and gave me a purse, all the while asking me if there was going to be “another Doctor Who wedding”…

  6. Rita says:

    Sounds familiar! On Christmas Day a few years ago my sister was discussing her upcoming nuptuals to her boyfriend of several years when my dad asked her the same question. She didn’t talk to him for a while after that, but he did make it to the wedding.

  7. Alex says:

    This is so photoshoped…

    • jay says:

      hahaha … Such a funny community on this website! I used to casually look at some photos but THEN my life changed forever … I started reading the hilarious and sometimes bitter comments. lol

  8. Michelle says:

    Linda, you’re not alone. When my mom met my dad’s grandmother, the grandma turned to my dad and said “What ever happened to that *nice* girl you used to go with?”

  9. Oh my god – that is horriable. She makes my MIL look like a dream come true.

    How come your husband did not step in and make her allow your family attend the rehearsal dinner OR how come you did not tell your husband that you would not go to a rehearsal dinner where your entire family and all your friends were excluded?

  10. Verity says:

    Lynda! I am so sorry! spome of us truly luck lout with our in-laws.

    I chuckled at the catholic reference: After meeting my mum for the first time, my father’s french-Candaian-catholic family lovingly told him that, she “seemed very nice for a protestant!”

  11. Hudson says:

    I very nearly married into a family like that – thank goodness his mom actually broke us up. It’s up to the guy to set his mom straight, but they seem to just bend under the motherly pressure. Not much of a man, it turned out. Did me the hugest favour by breaking my heart – I met the best man on God’s green planet for me, and his family is absolutely lovely!

    You have my deepest empathy.

    • Lynda Kaye says:

      Hudson, isn’t it amazing what happens during engagements, weddings and funerals. I just ended up shrugging off the attitude of my MIL and tried desperately to get along. My husband did say that his mom was “different.” Oh ya think???

  12. LT says:

    Why didn’t your husband insist that entire wedding party attend the rehearsal dinner? He needed to speak up to Mommy Dearest!

  13. akprincess72 says:

    Lynda Kaye, go read ‘the holiday letter’ to get why they are asking if your MIL was Marney… You’ll likely get a laugh out of it.
    Glad to hear you & your hubby are still happily together, you showed her!!! =D

  14. dangermom says:

    OK, that was rude and evil. I’m so sorry.

    My dad did something similar, though in a funny way. He has always liked to joke around, and when I called and woke him up at 2am, I said “Hi Dad, I’m engaged!” He cheerfully replied, “Oh, that’s just fine. Who to?”

    (In fact he had been hoping and praying that I would be smart enough to marry this guy who he thought was just great.)

  15. Andrea says:

    That brings the term “Monster-In-Law” to a whole new level.

  16. Anne says:

    Too bad you didn’t say “my brother”.

  17. killer kate says:

    Ugh. Some MIL’s will never like their DIL’s no matter how great they are. She was the one with the problem, Lynda, not you. Although by now I’m sure you know that! My Mom’s MIL (my grandmother of course) was a wonderful Irish Catholic lady who welcomed her whole heartedly and loved her like her own, so not all are like that! 🙂

  18. WVBOBW says:

    So that was you first introduction to Marnie?

    • BroadwayBohemia says:

      I was just thinking that!

    • Lynda Kaye says:

      My first introduction. Oh my no! I had seen her several times over the past year not alot because I was working out-of-town and her son worked in town. I like Anne’s reply when she said, “Oh really to whom?” — I should’ve said, “My brother.” HAHAHAHAHA Thanks for the happy today!

  19. Andrew says:

    I find it funny.

  20. wendy says:

    not awkward, just mean

  21. GuardMama says:

    That clears thinks up, a little. Your MIL is Marney… and that would make you Amy Misto.

    Or Lisa Byron Chesterford?

  22. Alekx says:


    My God!

    That was either the ditsy-est thing ever,
    or the meanest thing ever.

    I hope it was just that she’s slow on catching things!

  23. DVRDiva says:

    At least you some input as to what nursing home she goes into. Ha ha ha.

  24. Mari Steed says:

    This sounds almost like an urgan legend. I had an Irish Lit professor back in the day who related a similar tale. Returning home after popping the question to his girlfriend, he approach his pious, Irish Catholic mother, who was sitting at the dining room table in full night-cleansing masque, rosaries in hand, tea on the table and excitedly said, “Ma! I’m getting married.” Barely looking up, the laconic mum replied, “To what?”

    • Lynda Kaye says:

      Thank you for the wonderful LOL on your posting! My Mother-in-Law was Irish Catholic as well. Hummmm, I see a trend here. Thanks again for the good laugh!

      • Judie says:

        OMG, My MIL is Irish Catholic, too, and she never thought I was good enough for her son either. Hmmm, I see a scary trend here, too. I have been married for 25 years to a man who can do no wrong! My advice to any one engaged to a son with a mean mother , Run, do not walk in the opposite direction! We all become our mothers in the end! Save Yourself!

  25. RockyCat says:

    Whoa ….. so your MIL wanted to make it clear from the start that she was the world’s biggest b*tch, eh? How’d that work out for you after the wedding?

    • Lynda Kaye says:

      Hi, thanks for replying to my MIL posting. How’d it work out after the wedding? Not good, She hated me until she died. The 2nd part of this story was the rehearsal dinner. She REFUSED to let anyone from my side of the family attend and that meant my bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, relatives from out-of-town. In other words, I was the ONLY one present that represented my side of-the-family.

      • Ashleigh says:

        That’s awful! Why did she hate you so much? And was she paying for the rehearsal dinner/wedding or something because why else did she have so much say on who was invited?

        • Lynda Kaye says:

          I think back on that whole fiasco, and I’m sure I was just trying to fit in. What miffs me off NOW is that all of our parents have since passed on. What a waste that they never got to know one another.

        • Melissa says:

          The groom’s family traditionally hosts / pays for the rehearsal dinner.

          • Melissa says:

            But they usually invite the whole wedding party!! LOL

          • Andrea says:

            My husband’s parents had no interest in our wedding. But at least they showed it by not trying to have any control over it. So my parents hosted our rehearsal dinner. It was more fun and less stressful that way anyway.

      • Mrs Embers says:

        Oh, good heavens… you must really have been in love with your husband-to-be to marry into that family! Simply labelling this story awkward is putting a good face on things… I’d classify it as intentionally awkward to the point of cruelty.

        I don’t think I’d have gone to the rehearsal dinner.

        • Lynda Kaye says:

          Interestingly, my father had offered to pay for “our side of the family and bridal party.” Reality: We’re still married!!!

          I love all the comments on here. I’ve felt so bad about this for the longest time. Thanks for the jovial twist on things!

          • cheryl says:

            Sounds like she needed a good cross-bow and/or compound bow treatment to get her attitude adjusted. Sorry about the horrible treatment. You must be a real trouper!!

    • cg says:

      Her name isn’t MARNEY, is it?

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