Awkward Family Email: My Uncle’s Road Trip
August 11th, 2009
“Hi Everyone,
Well after cruising along for 428 miles, I arrived at the KOA campground in Bismark. It was fairly empty when I first pulled in around 5:00 but by the time I came back from my Dairy Queen run, most of the drive through spots are full. Most of the tent spots are still empty.
There were two notable things today. Normally when going to the lake I can leave the milage display on the screen and see that I cruise along at 65 MPH with a normal weekend load of clothes and food and get around 24 MPG. Today towing the trailer and attempting to keep up with the 75MPH speed limit (which everyone seems to be ignoring) the jeep only gets about 11 MPG. So I made a few extra gas stops and noted how long it was between stops. There is a lot of open country out here in North Dakota. I sure hope when I turn south to go to the bike race that I find enought gas stations. I note that I will be taking mostly 2 lane roads so I will only be going around 55 MPH, so the milage should be better. It is the long distances between “towns” that worries me. I saw the sign for gasolene on an exit and took the exit. It was 5 miles to the town, and the station was shut. (its Sunday!). Fortunately a friendly person walking down the road gave me directions to get gas without going right back to I-94. However when I started back out from the gas station, my GPS started telling me to drive 133 miles south on the two lane road to continue my journey. I ignored that advice and asked for more directions from a local and only had to go on a couple roads that the GPS apparently did not know about to get back to I-94. Maybe I should have downloaded new maps to the GPS before I left the house. It is only 6 weeks old, so I figured it had to be fairly up to date.
The other thing that really struck me is how big motorhomes and trailers have become since I last camped on a trip in the 70′s. I would say that at least 1/2 half of the “campers” here are with giant motor homes towing jeeps or trucks or they are fifth wheel trailers. The folks next to me have a fifth wheel toy hauler with their Harley’s in the back and the “living quarters” in the front. Like I mentioned, no real tent campers here.
Tomorrow’s only planned activity is the river boat ride on the Missouri river and maybe visiting a few of the historical sites in Bismark and Mandan. I also want to find the city park since someone wrote about in on the web and said it is the best campground in the area. It supposedly is on the river so maybe when I find the boat ride I can find the park.
Thats the news for now. No campground pictures since it would look like last week’s pictures. There is a quick snapshot of the car and trailer as I finished loading up this AM.”
(submitted by Lisa)
I can see why the poster thought it was funny — what with the self-involved uncle. It would have been a lot funnier had I known the author of the email. This would fall under the catagory of “family” or “inside” joke. That’s why the rest of us didn’t find it so funny. It was like a conversation with my father, only shorter and far more entertaining. Would you all like to have HIS email address??
I demand my 5 minutes back.
Some of these comments could be considered pretty awkward.
I couldn’t stop laughing out loud at that e-mail from “Uncle My Life Revolves Totally Around My Vehicle and the Mileage it Gets”. It reminded me exactly of the scene in “The Birdcage” where Gene Hackman is talking about driving from New England to Florida and takes FOREVER to tell about the drive.
Unlike most of you, I thought this was hilarious!!! Awkward….
Agreed! I loved it.
Maybe the fact that it’s not awkward is what makes it so awkward…?
Please don’t stop with the awkward family stories/emails. They’re great.
“It was fairly empty when I first pulled in around 5:00 but by the time I came back from my Dairy Queen run, most of the drive through spots are full. Most of the tent spots are still empty. ”
Why is he going to DQ at 5?!
why go to bed at midnight?
any time is a good time for dairy queen
since 5:00 is supper time, id say its a great time for a nice 1/2 lb flamethrower with an arctic rush and brownie batter blizzard
Usually before I read one of these things I check the number of comments, as in the past it has worked out the the more comments a story gets, the funnier it is. Well, that method has clearly worked against me here. Perhaps I should have read a couple of the comments first, because I just wasted moments of my life reading a boring email about something and from someone I don’t care about. This was just plain awful =/ ugh.
TERR. I. BLE. Thanks, that was five stolen minutes at work that I could have used to stick boogers under my co-workers mouse and will never get back.
No more awkward than the fact that it got published on a website.
Bismarck.
I don’t get all the comments saying how this wasn’t awkward. Can you imagine trying to *reply* to an email like this?
You could just fake interest. For example, “Yeah, I guess times have changed and people don’t really “camp” anymore. Also, gas mileage wasn’t as important back when gas was cheap. Hope you find your campsite and be safe.
Bored as always,
Cody
PS I update my GPS all the time and it still doesn’t read some roadways.”
Well, that took 1 minute but this post was still terrible, boring and not the least bit awkward.
I got the awkwardness in the first sentence when he pulled up to the near-empty KOA and then after he came back from the Dairy Queen it was full. What? Was he at the DQ for 4 hours trying every Blizzard? Is this guy 400 lbs?
I get it though. The only thing the uncle thinks are worthy of commenting are his gas stops. I will admit he is no Marney and the funniest thing on this website is mk219 the pissed-off North Dakotan.
This story was both boring and not awkward. It ruined the point of the website.
How did this get past them??
Did they even READ this before posting it on the web?
This is awkward? I really don’t see how. Who’s choosing what to put up on the site?
Wow! I loved this and the comments from everyone who didn’t get it. You people crack me up!
Next one he sends I hope is a tour of the inside of his camper and the way he arranges his socks in the drawer and his canned goods. Is it alphabetical or based on color, or food group or what?!? Jeez, what a nail biter.
Guess I’ll have to wonder and just wait for the next one. But that’s what makes life interesting.
We got it. The point is that everyone knows someone who rambles on like this. My in-laws send emails all the time like this but, I certainly wouldn’t post them here to bore you.
Hahahaha!
C’mon people! don’t waste your time complaining… move on to the next… I had to weed through all the whining to see if anyone at all noticed that the guy was going to camp in the city park. If I am not mistaken, usually it is homeless, poverty stricken, druggies, drunkards, etc… that resort to city park camping? I’m sorry, but I am not familiar with this particular city park. maybe they do provide camping facilities, but most “city parks” I have been to do not. When I read it I pictured the guy sleeping on a park bench, or setting up his tent near some memorial rose garden as locals strolled by.
I noticed that too. The other reason men go to the park is to pick up other men. Maybe he was hoping nobody knew that.
LOL….up in this part of the country (North/South Dakota, and I think Nebraska too) there are small towns that have “city parks” with camping or RV facilities. Usually they are also situated near a point of interest- a riverbank, lake, or historical site. At least in South Dakota, most of these places are actually run by the state parks division, not the “city”.
And now you know.
But somehow I don’t think knowing this is quite ‘half the battle’….this won’t even help you in Trivial Pursuit.
My life is average.
it’s Bismarck, not Bismark.
sorry, I’m from ND and I HATE it when people spell town names wrong.
The wrath incurred by this story is cracking me up. “Those are two minutes I’ll never get back!”. And what would you do if you did get them back? Cure cancer?
LOL!
some people should just write blogs instead of sending emails.
I thought I was missing out on something huge and re-read this email twice before looking at the comments and realizing that no, I’m not stupid, this email really is pointless.
Loved the e-mail. If his vacation highlights are gas mileage math I cam only imagine his daily conversations.
But even funnier have been the comments on it and people trying to figure this e-mail out! Classic.
I’d be willing to bet their relatives get one of those “what we did this year” Christmas letters…
There goes two minutes of my life I won’t get back.
What was so awkward about that? How stupid.
a total waste of my time. Come on guys… you can do better than that.
this reminds me of sooo many of my relatives.
Oh, don’t let him get a blog…
Except for bad spelling and grammar this is not an “awkward” story . . . you guys should go outside sometime.
Did he clip his toenails this week or not?!? What an insufferable tease.
This isn’t awkward so much as it is boring.
That was so insanely stupid. Not funny or awkward. What the heck was this included???
Can we stop with the stories……its a photos website
Oh, that was so dull I couldn’t help but just skim it and not really READ it. I caught the word “notable” (that’s a laugh) and the line “thats {sic} the news for now”. Really, that’s news?! No vacation email should involve that much math and contain so many numbers.
Is there soppose to be a photo with this? If so, where is it?
this was as funny as an Ingmar Bergman movie
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is clearly photoshopped. i mean look at the shadows. they are all wrong! plus you can see some pixelation around the front headlight of the jeep
“this is clearly photoshopped. i mean look at the shadows. they are all wrong! plus you can see some pixelation around the front headlight of the jeep”
now that’s funny! russell wins this one.
unfortunately the email itself is only as awkward as every single post i read on facebook. people absolutely love to spread the banality of every second of their days.
i’m gonna close for now and go have a bagel. i’ll put some plain, whipped cream cheese on it. i think i’ll toast it first though. have you had whipped cream cheese? it spreads really easily.
This comment was the only part of this post that made me laugh
Win.
Now that’s a funny comment. Russell for the win!
Russell and Jason need to be offered jobs to do running commentary on every submission!
I get it.If you need that in your face humor or a picture to explain it you won’t get it. He is traveling but instead of anything interesting about the trip he spends the whole time talking about getting gas, where he got it, how he got it, how much used,the amount of gas stations available etc. Its more of a WT* moment instead of awkward but still awkward that the gas mileage is the most interesting info he can send about his trip.
Exactly. This man proves he is the most boring person in the world, without even realizing it.
Exactly.
That was my point in submitting it. Thanks.
I got it, but it wasn’t entertaining. It was just boring. A synonym for boring is ‘unremarkable.’ If it’s unremarkable, why the hell would it be posted?
Lame.
Your having to explain it points to the ignorance of some of the website vistors, not to the lameness of this email. It’s called subtlety.
Read between the lines people. Can you imagine getting this email from your uncle? Can you imagine how socially awkward this uncle must be?
This uncle and his email are awkward.
Thanks Ronda for explaining it; just sorry so many people needed you to!
Socially awkward….the Uncle? I find it very sad that there are people that are so lacking in communication and empathy skills that they believe that everyone needs to be like them to fit into a certain social circle. You look awkward for not having the skills to understand the uncle without laughing at him. That’s awkward and you are certainly not subtle. Just remember, there are other people like you, but in a different social circle, that look down on you and your awkward ways. I look awkward for taking this time to tell you something that at this time in your life, you just won’t understand anyway.
hahahahahahahhahahahahhahaha!
ha.
ha.
I got it too, but it was even funnier to me because my sister teases me for including way too much detail when telling tales of ordinary events. Once in a while, I tell her a story like this one of what I’ve been up to, just for a laugh. Her favorite boring story of mine is about the time I drove to San Francisco to buy a bed. I got a really good deal on it… but it’s a long story. lol.
P.S. Getting 100 comments saying that something sucked is not an achievement to be heralded in any way. In fact, most would consider it to be the opposite.
This was the worst thing I’ve seen on the site yet. There was zero awkardness or entertainment value in this post. Waste of time.
I completely agree. Aside from the fact that this email wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t even entertaining. This email was completely boring and rambled on and on, and maybe it was the poster’s intent to point this out. However, next time she wants to post something, she should make sure others will find the humor in it.
agreed. I’m getting tired of the stories. There have been a few good ones, but not lately.
I thought the same thing! This “awkward” story was neither awkward or entertaining. AFP needs to replace the Awkward Family Story sifter-person.
Just stick to the photos please. That is the name of the site. Letters s-u-c-k.
Yeah, the only real good one I’ve read was the Thanksgiving email. An awkward read, and the comments were priceless. Either more like that, or pics only!
yeah, and it wasn’t even awkward or entertaining..
We get e-mails eerily similar to this from a particular relative, and we’re always left wondering if the relative has a life or thinks that we have a life. While writing a novel to explain the campground scenario, the Uncle has failed to ask, “What are y’all up to?” And no doubt, he doesn’t even really care because anything he does and sees is more important.
i guess i don’t know why this was awkward. are you guys asleep at the wheel?? this is not the first story on here that hasn’t been awkward in the least. do you just post everything that comes to you?
If they did, my awkward story would have been posted weeks ago.
It’s awkward because it has so many numbers in it
numbers dont make things awkard, it was descriptive.
The fact that it’s a grammatical abortion is pretty awkward.
But..Did they ever make it to get the gas?????
LOL!!! That was the funniest part about this whole thing!!
L.A.M.E.
Ok. I finally found a way to justify my time reading both the letter and all the comments. The letter-writing uncle is Al Gore. He is on his way to Burning Man.
hahah!
Thank you for saving this POS entry with your hilar comment.