The Onion 2

November 10th, 2009

The Onion 2 - *AFP Hall Of Fame*

“My mother is pregnant with me in this photo, you can see my older sister, and my cousin. The old farts are the photographer/my grandad, and my gran. Then my mother and her 2 sisters are sitting, and their spouses are standing. Creepy Uncle Stu is the only one posing. My dad is clearly enjoying time with his in-laws.”

(submitted by Rachel)

207 Responses to “The Onion 2”

  1. James T says:

    My first thought was that this was a poster for community theatre or something….after reading the comments I see that it is real. “This is just Great”!!!…….I may be inspired to write the fictional play now!…..awsome!

  2. Dawn says:

    This is freakin awesome!

  3. Nicolas says:

    This is actually a really great photo in a non-awkward way too! The balance of activity and colour make it look posed, yet it’s presumably all spontaneous. Magnifique.

  4. Marlene says:

    This one and the “preganant lady holding a watermelon and a gun” are my all time favorite!!! Oh yeah, so is “grey’s anatomy” roller skating guy and anything involving the “arm shelf”

    Kudos to everyone in this lovely picture!!!

  5. Adri says:

    Best AFP ever! The guy in green and the one in red? Hilarious!!!!

  6. Christine says:

    After much thought I think the caption should read “A Special Kodak Moment Gone Wrong”. My Dad the photographer used Kodak film and in that moment everything
    did go wrong!

  7. Ponyo says:

    Brown vest guy is ready, even if no-one else is.

    Is pink suit lady wearing giftwrapping stick-on bows on her slippers?

    Striped dress “I TOLD YOU all the dog was a bad idea, but would you listen? No!”

    All these people need speech bubbles!

    Awesome entry

  8. Ponyo says:

    Red shirt guy “It’s like this EVERY TIME. Ugh! We never learn…”

  9. mrs5180 says:

    I think all the hubbub is to draw attention away from grandma wearing her purple slippers to the “dress up” family photo. Wait….the lady in the red & white striped dress is wearing slippers too!!! ????? πŸ˜€

  10. Kim says:

    Man, I want a copy of this to hang on my wall!

  11. hi kooky says:

    This is actually quite an amazing capture. A brilliant portrait.

  12. Skipping Lunch says:

    This, as a Christmas card, would definitely have put even Ebenezer Scrooge in the holiday spirit!

  13. Christine says:

    I am the one in the red/white stripped dress – the youngest of the three girls and not pregnant. I was nervous of dogs but still loved Gypsy alot but perhaps not so close! The guy behind me ‘was’ my husband and no he is not Claude. Time definately has past by quickly and so have the styles. We all tried to be so organized with our smiles and postures, but sometimes it just doesn’t work quite that way as did this photo…just another Kodak Moment!!

  14. Candice says:

    I love the black and white checkered shoes. So stylish.

  15. Jynxie says:

    My personal favorite is the guy in the red shirt.

  16. Rachelle says:

    This is absolutely incredible. I’ve looked at it over and over the past couple days and it makes me laugh in soo many ways. I do have to admit the man in the green cracks me up the most, he’s totally oblivious to everything else going on. I picture him just standing and smiling the whole time. LOL .. And I love that you’ve given the back story. Thanks!

  17. atown says:

    amazing picture!!

    My fav would prob be the brown sweater vest on the left. Despite all the turmoil around him, he has ice water in is veins and is determined to take a good family picture. Even if he is the only one with a smile on his face. . . That’s commitment!

  18. LemurQueen says:

    OMG…this photo is a CLASSIC!! I LOVE it!! The dad in the red shirt captures the phrase OMG so well (give that man some TYLENOL)…I keep looking at it finding more funny/endearing things about it. Thanks whomever for letting it get posted here πŸ™‚

  19. LeCrosse says:

    Now THIS is a REAL family photo! Brilliant πŸ™‚

  20. pjay says:

    I love the guy on the right….with the obvious headache…lol πŸ™‚

  21. nite owl says:

    thank you for sharing this!

  22. Anne says:

    I am the one on the far right, with the stripped sleeve top, shoeless and 6 months pregnant with Rachel! The story of our life was captured brilliantly in a moment of time, thanks to my Dad! Thanks for all the entertaining comments, and wonderful compliments too:)

  23. ellen says:

    Love it!! Thanks for sharing!

  24. Ali A says:

    I have a big family and a lot of our group photos are pretty awkward. But, they’re nothing like this! I love it. The colors are great, too. I’m glad that at least one family member has this photo displayed in their home.

  25. LuLu says:

    So I just want to know why the ladies appear to be wearing slippers/socks/house shoes in such a formal portrait? I love this photo!!

    • Kim says:

      It was the 70s, really that’s all the answer needed. If you question too hard, it makes your brain go ‘splody.

    • doggiekittymama says:

      They are wearing slippers because their feet hurt. They’ve been on them slaving away to make the holiday happen for the men and children. It’s what was expected of the women in 1976 and stiill largely is today too. Plus the slippers were probably new Christmas presents too.

    • Lou says:

      I was also a kid in Canada in 1976, and this is actually quite representative of how it was. There would always be family photos of the whole family on Christmas morning, and some of us were still in our PJs. I also agree with doggiekittymama that they may have been presents. I bet grandma knitted those Phentex slippers on the left… I know I received a few pairs of those as a kid (and loathed them, I admit).

      P.S. I LOVE THIS PIC TOO! I would totally frame this and show it off proudly. πŸ˜€

  26. tracy says:

    this picture is exactly why timers now have that little ‘beep beep beep’ that gets quicker & quicker. this is also a great example of why you should go digital – so you don’t pay for prints like this! can you imagine mom getting it back from the photo shop? ‘well this was just a waste of 33Β’…’

  27. Evelyn McHale-Collyer says:

    This is a freakin’ MASTERPIECE.

    Favorite AFP!

    For like, EVER.

  28. Juls says:

    What an awesome family photo! If that was my family I would blow that sucker up and frame it over my fireplace. What a great moment!

  29. Julie says:

    This is my family (Mom & Dad are on the right) before I was born. I love this photo and it was NOT staged. I have it up in my guest room and it gets so many comments. Everyone loves it. It truly reflects everyone’s personalities.

  30. Rachel says:

    My mother is pregnant with me, she’s on the far right, tending to my big sister Jane πŸ™‚ My dad is in agony, as his father-in-law (blue shirt) is a professional photographer, and I’m sure this session had been going on for a while. Mum says Grandad hit the button by accident. None of this is staged. Let me see if I can field some of the other questions. The dog had not just farted. The gap in the middle is where Grandad was headed. The shadow on the left is just a shadow, no photoshopping. I can’t believe how many fans Uncle Stu (green shirt) has. The family is the Holmans. Gran and Grandad had 3 daughters (seated), and their 3 husbands are standing behind them. Christmas 1976!

    • sam says:

      I had been genuinely feeling down in the dumps this week. I laughed out loud when I saw this picture. Do you actually have this framed in someone’s home? Since your granddad is a photographer, how did he let you have a photo that was…less than perfect?

      Thanks so much for the smiles.

    • Sarah says:

      Thanks, I love when people give us the back story. It looks like a wonderful family, we all have those moments, lol.

    • carol says:

      Your family is awesome!

      • Deb says:

        I LOVE this picture, it’s fabulous! There are what, 7 separate little vignettes going on @ once, it’s too cool. I really love your aunt’s checkered pom pom slippers, they add a nice touch! Thanks for sharing the story behind it!

    • nichole says:

      have you ever thought of selling this? there are tons of people who would love to own this. including me

  31. Drujon says:


  32. MZ says:

    Rachel, which one are you?

  33. katerpult says:

    this is a fcking peace of art! even if this would be posed it would be freakin art! i want a poster of this!!

  34. Allison says:

    Looks staged.

  35. Jane says:

    I am the little girl on the right.
    Thank you for posting our picture Rachel! That is my absolute favourite family pic ever.
    I can assure everyone it was not posed. My Grandfather (blue shirt) either pressed the button in his hand by accident or it was on a timer. He didn’t even make it to his spot. lol.
    Love Dad’s (red shirt) expression the best! Nothing changes πŸ™‚

    • Madness says:

      Hey, added level of awkwardness — poor Grandpa didn’t even get in it! Thanks for posting this. This really is the best picture I’ve ever seen. Your family is awesome.

    • troy says:

      excellent. this is art. family awkwardness, yes. art, yes.

    • Riko says:

      I LOVE the expression on your dad’s face.
      Trying to resolve some of the questions above; what are you holding?

    • SWMBO says:

      THANK YOU for sharing the back story – this picture is brilliant in its awkwardness and we appreciate our family sharing it.

    • Tiggergirl0325 says:

      Awesome! You need to post a link to the “good” pic too. A “reality” vs “fantasy” comparison. LOL

    • Jon says:

      the Man in Black, next to your Father looks like someone I grew up with. His name was not Claude by any chance is it? He was married to a Donna, before marrying my mother.

  36. Sarah says:

    I love how green shirt guy is so oblivious to the others and just posing away!

  37. Gee says:

    Agreed, I’d love a spontaneous photo like this instead of hundreds of posed ones! …still awkward tho πŸ™‚

  38. Diane says:

    The guy in the green is saying, “Welcome to my life!”

  39. Taree says:

    Reminiscent of the Last Supper.

  40. Jeff B. says:

    Obviously the dog just farted.

  41. Penny Dreadful says:

    I’m with Stewart- I think this is charming and hilarious!

  42. Holt says:

    It’s like the Last Supper of fail.

  43. Erin says:

    This is a very true picture of what it’s like to get a family portrait.

  44. scmtngirl says:

    This is the best AFP *EVER*.

  45. Kelleigh says:

    I love this photo! If I had a family photo like this one it would be hanging on my wall!

    • Julie K says:

      I wonder if any of the Photoshop geniuses could ‘shop our family faces onto this family’s bodies….

      That I’d pay $$ for… and it would be great over the fireplace. And I could pick a thin photo of me, and a fat photo of my sister. (happy birthday, Becky)

  46. Zak says:

    I definitely would have called this “The Facepalm”

  47. Cme says:

    I like how it looks as if someone who is standing behind a chair on the left seems to be cropped out. Or is it a prop that wasn’t moved completely out of the way??

    Either way best AFP EVER!

  48. Stewart says:

    This is a killer picture. I would much rather have this picture of my family than all the posed, staid pictures I have ended up with.

    • v992 says:

      Um…I think this IS posed. That’s what makes it so wonderfully awkward!

      • scruffy says:

        Yeah, I don’t think so. You could get all the adults to pose but the kids and the dog? Not a hope. That’s real. It looks exactly like anytime my family gets together. Especially the finger in the face sister of mine.

        I bet the photographer got fed up with the bickering and out of frustration just took the photo to get it over. But it turned out great.

  49. Sarah says:

    I love this photo!

  50. Steve says:

    Isn’t the “Get that dog away from me” lady wearing slippers too?

    And what’s up with giving the kids juice to keep them happy, then trying to take it away right before picture time? I’d cry too – and I’m 46.

    • CarrieM says:

      It’s not juice. As someone else pointed out, there were no juice boxes in the 1970’s. I feel sorry for the crying little girl though, getting the talking-to from Mom, complete with finger in the face.

      • Jen says:

        Only assuming the people are in the US. The juice box itself was actually invented in Sweden in the 1960s πŸ˜‰

        • Sarah says:

          And Rachel referred to her mother as ‘mum’ down below, so I’m deducing that she is not American, and that the kids are holding juice.

          • Rachel says:

            I hope I can clear up this juice box debate. Everyone in this photo is Canadian, except my Aunt on the left, and my grandparents, who were born in England, so they’re 50-50. My mother just told me she doesn’t remember juice boxes back then (Dec 1976), and the girls are holding little toys πŸ™‚

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