The Thanksgiving Letter

November 26th, 2009

The Thanksgiving Letter - Thanksgiving

 submitted by Kara at www.californiakara.com

Listen to a dramatic reading of Marney’s famous letter.

After years of trying, Marney agreed to sit down with AFP and discuss her famous letter.

And now, you can get the official Marney Shirt! Image of regulation-size casserole dish included.

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3,042 Responses to “The Thanksgiving Letter”

  1. Anniee451 says:

    We’ve been hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 21 years – sometimes people come, sometimes they don’t – but anything people bring is considered extra and optional. The only thing required is praise for the cooks, but those have never been in short supply. Five standards (not including beverage; we supply hot spiced cider and water) and if you want anything else, bring it! It’s open house. Marny really needs the spike removed from her a**.

  2. Bad-Karma says:

    hahaha my thanksgiving was more like a seinfeld episode…that’s all i need to say. and i would have been the cameraman.

    lmao

  3. Meh227 says:

    Love it!!!!

  4. Rocky says:

    I think my mom wrote this…

  5. Anonymal says:

    The letter writer died during the following summer and that next Thanksgiving the entire family rejoiced and went to a restaurant.

  6. jessy says:

    is anyone else thinking hyacinth from keeping up with appearances……….

  7. ditt says:

    “talk show interview”

    ” ladies and gentlemen we have a woman with us who chooses to go by the name “Aunt Marnie”. “Marnie”, claims that her computer has been hacked into by the spirit of Joan Crawford and has sent out a pretty tedious list of Thanksgiving requirements to her family, which included judging the mental capacities of one particular member of her family, before the young woman got married and required her aunt June to make no fewer than fifteen pounds of potatoes. Marnie has since been forced to live in anonymity ever since. She claims that she first noticed her computers odd behavior when she had received an email from Amy, in which Amy had mentioned that she was shipping Marnie some really fine clothing along with some nice wire hangers. The computer (according to Marnie) then went to reply and wrote “NO…………WIRE………..HANGERS……..EVER” No fewer than fifteen hundred times in underlined burgundy Avant font.”

  8. kchuk7 says:

    Dear Family,

    Thanksgiving. My house. 11 AM. Aunt Marnie is not invited, so if anyone tells her, you are permanently out of this family.

    Love,

    Aunt June

  9. Loladeville says:

    “Knock-Knock”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Control Freak. Now you say-Control Freak Who?”

  10. Dear Aunt Marn,

    If you are making me participate at the Adult Level, then I demand to be moved from the kids’ table. Thanks so much! ICNBMS!

    as ever,
    L. B. Chesterford

  11. James M says:

    I wonder just how deeply in financial debt to Marney’s husband all these people are.

  12. Pinky says:

    We need pics of Marney wielding a pie knife, preferable post-clos du bois. A serving spoon would also do (but NOT a soup spoon).

  13. Heidi says:

    Celtic – I had tears running down my checks. Laughing is good for you – this whole site is just one big laugh fest

  14. Kayaf says:

    I’m thinking Amy & her family will be sending out this letter:
    (I changed “Martha Stewart” to “Marney”. It seemed to fit better.)

    “Aunt Marney will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I’m telling
    you in advance, so don’t act surprised. Since OCD Auntie won’t be
    coming, I’ve made a few small changes:

    Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries.
    After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows
    of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
    Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated
    with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make.
    Instead, I’ve gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them
    track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their
    idea.

    The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china,
    or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and
    everyone will get a fork. Since this IS thanksgiving, we will refrain
    from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from
    last Christmas.

    Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I
    promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration
    hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me
    it is a turkey.

    We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you
    while you wait. I’m sure they will be happy to share every choice
    comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey
    hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at
    5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to
    cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children’s recital, I will play
    a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention
    that I don’t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal
    drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer,
    ignore them. They are lying.

    We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the
    start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method.
    We’ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke
    alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In
    the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate
    table. In a separate room. Next door.

    Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
    front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening
    at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a
    private ceremony. I stress “private” meaning: Do not, under any
    circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small,
    unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife.
    The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win.
    When I do, we will eat.

    I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that
    “passing the rolls” is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean
    your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for
    the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the
    presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its
    lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you
    regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese
    Sauce stains.

    Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice
    between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the
    traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small
    fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

    Aunt Marney will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She
    probably won’t come next year either.
    I am thankful.

    By: Barbara A. Tyler (as Printed in Today’s Woman, November 2000)

    • Shakespeare? says:

      Turkey in a dryer!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHa!

    • Kelly says:

      This is and always will be my favorite Thanksgiving story. Brings tears to my eyes every time.

      However, passing the rolls in my family is a tradition. We literally toss them AT each other.

      Good times.

  15. Kyndal says:

    Ugh! I would purposley do everything the opposite just to annoy her! What a psycho! I can’t believe anyone would put up with that, what a jerk!

  16. Alan says:

    If I were one of the recipients of Marney’s instructions, I would (without any second thought):
    1. Send in my regrets
    2. Make reservations at a nice restaurant for Thanksgiving

    Marney’s attempt to orchestrate every minute detail of dinner means:
    a. she doesn’t trust the judgement of other family members
    b. she doesn’t trust the outcome of the holiday, which means that
    c. what she really does not trust is her own emotional response to the outcome.

    Poor Marney believes she can fix whatever void is going on inside herself by simply manipulating other people. It is like a thirsty person trying to quench her thirst by drinking salt water. When she gets what she wants but still feels unfulfilled, it will just heighten her sense of emptiness.

  17. Robin says:

    I had to read the writer’s name twice. I was certain it was my ex-husband’s new wife who wrote this.

    At Christmas 2008 my son and his family staying at my home over the holidays were “invited” to his home for a family Christmas dinner and they were instructed to bring a cheese tray and yes she specified which cheeses should appear on the platter, an appetizer (their choice “how thoughtful” enough for 20 people and no shrimp because the new wife is allergic) and a bottle of wine unspecified until the day before the dinner.

    Upon arrival at the dinner party they were told the wine they picked which was not the one they were told to bring was not good enough and they had to go out and purchase the proper bottle immediately.

    I told him they should have just left the party with their food and wine and come back home.

    Needless to say, they stayed, they ate, the only one drinking the wine was the new wife and nobody enjoyed the meal.

    I will send my son here to read that letter though. I know he’ll get a real kick out of it.

    Thanks for sharing it.

  18. ann says:

    More and more I appreciate not being part of the huge “one family under God” holiday ritual that others feel are mandatory.

  19. Devon says:

    I was sure my mother was the worst hostess on earth. Apparently, second worst, but close.

    Two years ago, she hosted turkey day for the first time (and I’m 35). When i asked the (polite? stupid!) question, “Can i bring anything?” she had her list ready. I dutifully prepared my three dishes (app, veg, and dessert) on Wednesday night. At 10:00 Thursday morning, she calls and asks me if i “couldn’t help a little” and bring: six wine glasses, two extra corningware casserole dishes, a bag of ice, and ten folding chairs. (because everyone has ten of them just laying around, right?)

    My hubby laughed the whole way there. Well, it wasn’t so funny when she stomped in front of the TV and snapped it off, informing him and the other six males happily glued to it that “we’re here to relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

    Needless to say, now we stay home and eat a nice tasty meal in our jammies and watch football.
    We are TRULY thankful for that! ;)

  20. Carina says:

    i. cannot. stop. laughing.

    i just hope no one in this family is traveling a great distance… how would they be able to regulate the temperature of their contributions upon arrival? pit stop at a convenience store to pop it in the microwave??

  21. Charlene says:

    Dear Rudest, Most Self-Absorbed Person on the Face of the Earth:

    When an adult CHOOSES to be the host of a party, they HOST it, and they provide AND pay for everything without complaining or asking for help, and certainly without guilting people into helping them. This is the act of a two-year-old with developmental challenges, not an adult.

    Your guests are not expected nor required to bring one single solitary item to your party. Nobody is holding a gun to your head to hold this party. If you don’t have the time or money to host it, don’t.

    Shame on you, you entitled little brat. Nobody owes you anything.

    • Dana says:

      I think MOST families share the responsibilities of things like Thanksgiving and Christmas. The ridiculous part here isn’t that she’s asking her family to bring food; it’s that she had such specific instructions.

      • CB says:

        Geez, Charlene – You are almost as pathetic as Marney at the opposite end of the spectrum!
        Must be an only child (or from Manhattan). Holidays are about getting together in the style
        of the potluck, sharing time AND dishes. In our family we just ask folks to bring SOMETHING
        and tell us ahead of time what it is – that way you don’t end up with five-thousand deviled eggs.
        Your choice of serving dish is up to you – I know, it’s radical.

  22. Trish says:

    How come HJB gets only one simple instruction ‘dinner wine’? Surely Marney is playing favourites there – no mention of size, temperature, serving instructions, vintage, brand; so many ways that she’s set him up to not stuff up!. HJB has always been the golden child obviously.

    • Smiley says:

      I’m thinking that HJB is her husband. She’ll badge him plenty when she sends him to the store to get the wine. And that is his only duty because he’s just an extension of her and she is doing ALL the work.

    • Shakespeare? says:

      box or bottle? hmmmmm…

  23. whatturnipsareREALLyfor! says:

    OMG…. you are all FAILING to see what the ill-liked turnips are for. They are obviously meant for punishment…. whomever does NOT follow the letter to the T gets to eat them. Yum.

  24. Jerri Ann says:

    Being the only “only” child on my father’s side of the family, I never contributed to our T-giving or C-mas dinner until one year I got a phone call (similar to this letter) from my aunt instructing me that I was now 30 and it was time for me to help out. So now at 40, for 10 years I have supplied paper cups, paper plates, paper napkins and 3 bottles of 2L bottles of soda (one pepsi, one diet something another and one non-caffeine something another).

    I do not participate in the prep portion of the dinner which includes but is not limited to setting up the church hall, heating bread, putting anything on buffet style table (not even the plates and stuff that I bring), etc.

    I do not participate in the clean up process other than to take my families trash to the trash bag and deposit it.

    I’m sure that before long I will get a phone call instructing me what my duties are for prep and clean up. Last year, they didn’t even wait for me to get there, they simply used some plates that were at the church, drank water and coffee and were half done when we arrived…..15 minutes EARLY. Yea, no kidding.

    They started without us and we were early arriving….and they wonder why I don’t participate, hehehehe

    • stl says:

      You were 30 years old and they had to ask YOU (note use of caps) to bring something? It is pretty standard courtesy to ask “what can I bring” to any gathering. I’ve been doing that since I had my own household. (and earlier to friend’s parties throughout high school and college too) They can always tell you “No thanks.” My rule of thumb is that if they’re kind enought to host: cleaning their home, or being the ones taking the effort to contact everyone, then I’m happy to help out in this easier way! –I can hardly wait till your kids grow up and don’t help you set up or clean up or contribute to the meal…you’ll probably be the one complaining that holidays are too much and no one does anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …of course, if Marny asks for something as detailed as the above, and it doesn’t work out, I may tell her so, and ask for an alternative, or tell her, I’m sorry, it won’t work out for me, but I’d be happy to bring_________- instead…. –she reminds me of a friend of the family, who is now deceased.

      • Rich says:

        Hmmmm…. was your friend ………”terminated” by another member of the family??

        Perhaps, ….. with an over-sized blue bowl??

      • HickeyDooWah says:

        Well just because you’re Stepford Delight doesn’t mean that everyone else is. If people want something brought they can ASK FOR IT. Nice use of exclamation points by the way, really drive your point home Marny.

        • WTB says:

          Nope, sorry… stl isn’t Stepford, s/he’s courteous. There’s a huge difference. If you’re 30 and attending a family gathering large enough to be held in a church, and you and your family are happily mowing down on other people’s contributions without lifting a finger yourself, and then you get all Princess-y and snarky when you’re asked “hey, think you might be able to manage stopping by a dollar store for some paper plates and napkins, there, champ?” then YOU’RE the jerk, not them.

      • Erica says:

        I agree – I’ve been bringing things to my family gatherings since college. This may just be Southern upbringing, but it’s only good manners to offer to bring something … and what kind of lazy bum doesn’t help set/clean up? Get off your lazy self and do something!

        I’m with Rich – did y’all knock off that woman?

    • Nancy says:

      I believe the problem with your family gatherings can be found in the fact it is held in a church hall. No alcohol is served! That in itself solves a whole lot of problems…in in the right families, can create new, more interesting ones.

  25. roger says:

    i wonder if she has a t-shirt that says “Does anal retentive have a hyphen?”

  26. Sunshiner says:

    I wanna be Amy and show up with a dozen pie knives and a chocolate cake (courtesy of Betty Crocker, of course) in a large tupperware dish, covered in aluminum foil. On the 29th.

  27. whynotbroccolicasserole says:

    Although I agree with Marney that no one likes turnips, I am stumped as to why she didn’t suggest an alternative, such as broccoli and cheese sauce (a nice Hollandaise on the side, because you know how Mike is!). And I’m further bamboozled that she didn’t remind everyone about the BYOTums requirement, because they’ll certainly need it after that lovely meal !

    One last thought… if you know the only person bringing pies won’t even read your stupid letter, where is your dessert contingency plan?? Marney, I’m seriously worried that you’re losing it !

  28. Fairytail3982 says:

    1. One can only wonder what the children’s level of contribution is if Lisa Byron Chesterford is “now required to contribute at the adult level.” Perhaps they have been chained up in good ol’ Grandma Marney’s kitchen making those handprint-shaped turkey cookies for the entire week before Thanksgiving.

    2. It’s a good thing they’re having plenty of alcohol! At least two families are bringing clos du bois chardonnay, Marney already has Coors Light and Corona and the Bob Byron family may be selecting an additional case of beer (although I’m surprised Marney is leaving that to chance – you know how Mike is!)

  29. LADYFROMOZ says:

    Marney only has time to cook the turkey, as the rest of her time will be spent “RUNNING THE SHOW!”

  30. BJ Evans says:

    So I guess we’re assuming that Marney is making the turkey for this fun-filled family event. But other than that, is she doing ANYTHING else?

  31. lauren says:

    This idiot didn’t even make anyone bring cranberry sauce, but there must be turnips that nobody likes? Fail.

  32. Andrea says:

    Over-sized blue serving dish (sans lid) $88.00
    15 lbs of mashed potatoes, made from store brand potato flakes $27.00
    A case of room temperature Coronas $24.99

    The look on your Aunt Marney’s face when the June Davis Family shows up for Thanksgiving… Priceless.

  33. Cherriej says:

    OMG!! I’d rather have T-day at McDonald’s then go to Marney’s house!!!

  34. nancy says:

    Mental note to self. Have Thanksgiving catered.

  35. carrie says:

    The letter and all these comments are cracking me up. Something I haven’t seen in the postings I’ve read – if “most of us don’t like turnips” then why is she forcing someone to make a turnip casserole? I would think the green beans OR asparagus and the 15lbs of mashed potatoes would be enough.

  36. I’m thankful for Aunt Marney, who always goes above and beyond to make sure we LOSERS have a great dinner.

  37. Sunshiner says:

    Ohhhh CRAP. I find this less funny than disturbing. If I read this letter I surely would not go anywhere near ‘Marney’, much less let my children visit. I would stay far, far away and would most certainly contact the local authorities. This lady needs professional help and/or prescription drugs. Please.

  38. Susan says:

    Craziest person in the room sets the tone…. oh my. But !!! I do want to know more about these people and how they dysfunction together.

  39. Linda says:

    Dear Aunt Marn,

    I read every one of your stupid emails. I just don’t take direction well AND I don’t give a flip. In fact, I forget how to get to your house so you will just have to bake your own freakin pies this year. The Misto Family is going to Disney World.

    Love,

    Amy and Gang.

  40. Erin says:

    Amy is my hero!

  41. colleen says:

    The point being one person’s perfect Thanksgiving is another person’s hell

  42. Randatolla says:

    I suspect that if all the guests had just colluded to deliberately defy every aspect of Marney’s manifesto, she surely would have had a coronary. Problem solved. One less passive-aggressive on the planet!

    • Celebrate Alone says:

      There was absolutely nothing passive about the author. Aggressive, you bet. Could have been written by my sister.

      • Deanna says:

        I think they’ve already colluded on previous holidays thus the letter; now they’re going to ramp up the pressure. Its Thanksgiving Gaslight. She’ll end up sloppily sauced on that Clos du Bois passed out with her head in the turnips and everyone else will watch the game.

  43. Chuck says:

    She’d be eating all by her self!

  44. Jan says:

    My guess is that Amy submitted this letter.

  45. GuardMama says:

    Dear Aunt Marn,

    You misspelled prosciutto. I’m amazed that your computer didn’t explode.

    P.S. If you’re going to kill yourself over this error, please use the butcher knife and NOT the meat cleaver. Be sure to cover the floor in 2 layers of poly sheeting (be sure to use Visqueen not the store brand). 2 layers, not 1. I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS.

    Love and kisses,
    The Michelle Bobble Family

  46. Wowie Howie says:

    Regulation sized casserole dishes are not the correct size for mashed potatoes. What an idiot…

    • GuardMama says:

      Dear cousin Howie,
      Correction. I DO NOT want Grandma passing the over-sized, non-regulation blue casserole dish, laden with 15 lbs of mash. I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS. Sheesh.

      Looking forward to the 28th!!
      Marney

    • Maggie says:

      TOO funny Howie! Tears streaming down my face from laughing…

  47. Izzi says:

    Things I love about this letter:

    1- Her bold use of CAPS. Some people worry that they will come off as “shouting” but not Marney. She goes there.
    2- The description that things like turnips, 15 lbs of mashed potatoes, and asparagus qualify as an “offering.” The ancient Mayans may beg to differ, but what do they know.
    3- Stating the obvious to make sure that people get nuances. Such as “cold food should be served cold” and “most of us hate turnips.”
    4- Choices for Ice Cream. No pressure here! (But most likely increased pressure in other quarters.)
    5- Clarifying 2 letter words with more letters. “Green Beans OR Asparagus (but not both).”
    6- Calling Lisa out on her previously freeloading ways.
    7- Having the Michelle Bobble family bring a pie knife… for the pies she is asking Amy to make… while making the comment of “why do I bother she will never read this.”

    • Liam says:

      Don’t know how Marney left it up to the particular family to decide between asparagus or green beans. If you ask me thats leaving too much to chance!

      • GuardMama says:

        Hahaha, Liam. That’s our old Marn. With her fab sense of humor, all that joking around and taking another step on the wild side!

    • sdel says:

      I totally agree. Marney’s probably like, “Why do I have to do Thanksgiving $!@*# dinner again?” This is the letter that I wish I could send. It is hard to host a party especially one that has so many expectations around it like T-day. I asked a friend to make a traditional pumpkin pie for T-day last year. She showed up with a pie in a graham cracker crust. We debated for hours if this was traditional.

      • Rich says:

        “We debated for hours if this was traditional.”

        WHY??

      • Rich says:

        And, was the pie dish “regulation-traditional”?

      • WTB says:

        Dude… really? It’s a pie. Your friend made a pie, did it really ruin the whole day because of the graham-cracker crust? So much so that you had to “debate for hours” as to whether it was textbook “traditional”?

        To be fair, yes. Holding a holiday dinner at your house is a lot of work, and it’s nice if others contribute… but if you’re that picky about your pie crusts, perhaps you should make the damn pies yourself.

        • Hopella says:

          People who are OCD should never, ever, ever host a gathering of any type. If they do, they should not ask other people to bring things. When people ask say “No that’s ok, I think we have it all covered. But thanks for offering! We just can’t wait to see you!” and leave it at that. If they bring something anyways, let it go man!! Use your coping skills, journal about it before bed and talk to your Counselor about it at your next session.

          • Lori says:

            Hopella, you are so right!

            I love the suggestion to “Talk to your counselor at the next session.” The woman definitely needs therapy if a pie crust becomes a point of contention at the holidays!

          • didijoy says:

            sorry to burst your bubble-I’m OCD -there are many different variant behaviours per individuals. Anyone who’s personality is overbearing, controlling and unyielding should not be hosting any family function. Don’t enjoy it -don’t do it. It’s not about the food, presentation of china. Enjoy the company instead. My MIL had 9 surving kids, a grandmother 0f 25 and a great-grandma of 9. She would have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner at her house for crowds of 30 or more people.Relatives near and far would travel the country just to get together. We all pitched in cooking, cleaning and enjoying the dinners.When she turned 83 she stopped doing the “big dinners” for everyone. Now that she’s 86 she still does dinner for whoever wants to come “home” for the holidays. She loves cooking, people and life. If we can’t make it for the holidays we sure miss it!

  48. BroadwayBohemia says:

    Looking forward to the 25th? She’s sure as sh*t alone in that!

  49. Tim says:

    and has anyone noticed: NOT A SINGLE MENTION OF A COMPOUND BOW OR CROSSBOW IN THE ENTIRE LETTER!?!??

    C’mon Marney…like you said, A great meal doesn’t make itself! What’re you thinking, girl!?

  50. Celtic says:

    **Excerpt from Local Paper**

    Although Yesterday was the day of thanksgiving. Thanks were not being given at one home. Sheriff’s deputys were called to respond to a domestic Violence call on _______ street. When they arrived it was decided that the crazed matronly woman wielding a Serving spoon (not a soup spoon stated one survivor) and an oversized non-regulation blue dish, were too much for the Deputy’s to handle and Swat was called, The non lethal Ammunition used by the swat team was rendered useless by the 15 pounds of mashed potatoes and the swat team was forced to retreat because the wal-mart hor d’ourves platter foodstuff’s being hurled at them. The National Guard was called in and heavily armed Urban Warfare specialists were finally able to subdue the woman.

    • Angela says:

      Even better than the posting. You cracked my up!

    • Jan says:

      Hilarious. Especially the non-regulation blue dish! LOL!

    • colleen says:

      Crazed matronly woman…haha…got that right

    • Liam says:

      I am in a good mood today because of this!! absolute hilarity

      • hcw says:

        This is what menopause will do to you…and it will do it to you too Lisa Byron Chesterford who is now a married woman and needs to pony up some food. God bless Mr Marney. Can’t wait until that wine and beer start flowing, than the non-regulation blue serving dish will hit the fan.

    • mary says:

      Your response has me in tears from laughing!
      Wow – that Marny woman has more nerve than i can even imagine! I’m kind of sympathetic to her in a way though, as I hate having Thanksgiving – and have been annoyed with a sister in law who brings frozen store bought torte or some other junk instead making a pie. So now i just don’t ask her to bring dessert …. but that letter — come on already, can it be for real?????

    • caren brewer says:

      i can’t stop laughing…me daughter thinks i’m drunk…must be the clos de boise charddonay

    • Shakespeare? says:

      I don’t picture Marney as being ‘matronly’ as much as being tallish and boney with a nervous twitch, dressed in a Chadwicks’ pantsuit, popping Valium.

      • Momoftwo says:

        I agree with you Shakespeare….not matronly, but tall and boney and a very pursed lip with a bit of a snarl when she smiles, which is only when regulation sized bowls, lids and no soppy sauces or cheese (you know Mike) are involved.

    • Heidi says:

      Celtic – I had tears running down my checks. Laughing is good for you – this whole site is just one big laugh fest

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