The Smoosher

December 28th, 2009

The Smoosher - Wedding

You may now smoosh the bride.

(submitted by Adam)

124 Responses to “The Smoosher”

  1. beth says:

    that’s right Jake!!! all the money in the world won’t buy true love! you both seem to be truly happy, and that is what matters. best of luck to you in the future!

  2. Randall says:

    …and then it got reeeeaaal quiet around here…

  3. Jake Austin(the groom in this pic) says:

    To all you naysayers: Plaid shirts, Jeans, Beards and lakes are better than you. Good luck spending 10’s of thousands of dollars on a traditional wedding with tuxes and lame stuff like candelabras, string quartets, ice sculptures, Huge diamond rings, Doves and anything else you wouldn’t have as a part of your life. All that money on ONE day!? How do you sleep at night? We had BBQ, Blues Music, Doughnut cakes, Bonfires, Bare feet, Stratocasters, Gibsons, Sweet Tea and the best time i have ever had or anyone else will ever have in this century with out breaking the bank. I did not get the “Dress up and Shave” memo because that’s not us. You shave. You dress up. We’ll be at home getting our feet dirty in the garden, sippin’ on some sweet tea, listening to Albert King, Enjoying a life not filled with materialism and greed, but a life full of community and love for each other and for our beautiful creation.

  4. Bill says:

    Hey, it’s bad enough she has to bear his children … now he wants to kiss her??

  5. Dime666 says:

    “Dear. I love you. And we ARE married…but I don’t love you in the way you are hoping for. Get away from me…EEEWWW!!”

  6. Sara says:

    Such a goofball.

  7. Bethany says:

    Hello All…

    I am the bride, and I’m here to answer a few questions.

    1) Yes, that’s the groom. He’s a goofball (as proven in the picture).

    2) It was a very casual wedding. All the guys wore jeans and plaid shirts and the girls wore sun dresses. It was adorable!

    3) The dress is muddy because it was an outdoor wedding (in a tent), and an hour before the wedding started, a huge storm rolled through…tornado sirens and all! This picture was taken after walking around the wedding location for various other photo ops. I got the dress for ridiculously cheap, so I didn’t really care if it ended up getting muddy. I wanted to have fun and not worry about my dress all day.

    4) Yes, it’s a tattoo on my arm.

  8. Liz says:

    Why would she let her dress get dirty like that?!? For some reason that is killing me!

    • ... says:

      She had a good day. Who cares…it’s just a dress. I mean yes it’s nice to wear a white dress on your wedding day but are you really planning on wearing it again?

  9. gabi says:

    ugh.. that’s her brother..

  10. Saffy says:

    oooof! ya baby ya!

  11. lily says:

    To offset the price of her wedding, Suzie agreed to a “kiss the bride for a buck” hour at the park- but she wasn’t happy about it!

  12. Nancy says:

    Maybe this is the day after the wedding and she is doing a photoshoot of “Trash the Dress” where they take pics of her jumping in the lake and getting the dress dirty. It would explain him not being dressed up.

  13. bmj2k says:

    It is an unwritten rule that anyone who gets married on this golf course must kiss the groundskeeper.

  14. Amused says:

    She might be upset because he’s not wearing a tuxedo. It came as a complete surprise to her and now she’s really mad!

  15. Amaris says:

    The slanted horizon line makes it look like they’re about to start tumbling down a hill…

  16. JumpinJam says:

    The soiled hem of her dress really helps balance out the flannel.

  17. Twiddlebug says:

    It’s a nice day for a PLAID wedding!

  18. Ken says:

    Now all you need is a couple of farm animals in the background doin “it”!

  19. Ken says:

    “This way for your num-nums!!”

  20. CarpoolMom says:

    “If you don’t stop struggling and kiss me back I’m gonna throw you in the lake!”

  21. Just my FYI says:

    Awkward – yes…Engagement – no!

    Come on AFP, you know you are getting more than one photo a day (for the Christmas ones and these…) share the wealth!

  22. Fanboy Wife says:

    Her look of disgust is just priceless!

  23. Nancy says:

    There is no way this guy is the groom and wore this getup to marry her. Maybe it was the rehearsal. If it was the wedding, than he must be thanking her for letting him dress like he didn’t care.

    • ... says:

      Actually the couple had everyone in the wedding party dress like that. It looked very nice despite what most people would think.

      I think it suits the couple’s outdoorsy personality and why should everyone spend money on stuff they aren’t going to wear again?

  24. John III says:

    Hello my pretty! *Chomp* *Devour*

  25. Vickie says:

    That’s the same look I give my husband when he goes to kiss me and has bad breath! lol.

  26. Bleah! says:

    Did Paul Bunyan drag her through the mud for that smooch?!

  27. M says:

    “I will hug her and squeeze her and love her and pet her, and I will call her George.”

  28. Noel says:

    Dude! Curb your enthusiasm!

  29. Piglet says:

    Nice that he got all dressed up for the occasion.

  30. Captain Weiner says:

    He could smoosh me any time! WOOF! +jof

  31. Candy says:

    Is that a tattoo on her forearm? Not that there’s anything WRONG with a tattoo on the forearm, but I am just trying to verify.

  32. carol says:

    It looks like she may be having second thoughts.

  33. Marta says:

    has she just been kidnapped?

  34. MyMorningJoe says:

    wait why does she have a dress on and he has jeans on

  35. puppies says:

    aimee, oh yes she knows him. I know him from high school and I have seen the rest of thier wedding photos! This is hilarious.

  36. Peyton says:

    Why is that lumberjack attacking that bride?

  37. schnazzy says:

    He really dressed it up for the special occasion.

  38. Kalle says:

    Nice suit

  39. JD says:

    That will take a lifetime to live down. Nothing like an empassioned smooch from someone you apparently don’t care about.

  40. Kristie says:

    Well, in fairness to her, it *would* be difficult to smile when someone has your face in a vice grip.

  41. Tim says:

    Nice to see he dressed for the occasion… put on his cleanest flannel! And look- the socks even match the Levi boot-cut jeans!

    That’s one lucky l’il’ lady…

  42. Mamacrab says:

    This would actually be a cute picture if the guy took his kiss-intensity DOWN by a few levels!!

  43. Katie says:

    Wow, this is twice in one month that I know people that have been featured on this site! It’s a small world after all…or maybe I just know a lot of awkward people! Haha!

    Hey Jake! Hey Adam! I miss you guys!

    Congrats Jake! I heard you had gotten married!

  44. Shannon F says:

    She’s trying to remember Sandra Bullock’s advice. SING… she’s getting ready to aim for the groin.

  45. Justin says:

    “You were supposed to marry me, not my brother! He’ll never love you like I would have loved you…”

  46. suzy says:

    Is that lace on the bottom of her dress? I cannot tell. And It looks like he’s trying to eat her face like it’s a pie.

  47. aimee says:

    I’m not even convinced that she knows him.

  48. couch says:


  49. Bodene says:

    I think he’s sucking out the juices before devouring the flesh. Based upon the look on her face… she seems to sense her impending doom.

  50. Maria says:

    Is he the groom? Is.. is that her brother? Oh, the questions!

    • wombat says:

      I was wondering the same thing!

    • binkymae says:

      Since these are engagement photos, we must assume this is the groom who did not get the “dress up and shave” message for the photo op. Hopefully the bride made a note to self regarding the wedding itself.

    • Mel says:

      I Hope thats not an engagement photo because that dress is ruined…maybe its one of those photos before she trashed the dress by rolling in a pile of mud with it on….anyhow bet the next photo showed her smacking him in the face with those flowers…

    • ... says:

      I know the couple. That’s them…on their wedding day. Probably just goofing off.

      • jacque says:

        darn, I was kinda’ hoping he was the brother, and that maybe someone would post his phone number, and that maybe he liked older women, and kids, and a little extra padding on his women…… oh well. Guess not.

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