Behind The Awkwardness: The Winged Warrior
July 26th, 2010
Help Bill recapture the awkwardness of his youth:
“My parents cursed me with this hat (and wardrobe, and throwing skills). It stayed with me through a good part of my awkward years, but I’m happy to report I did end up with a wife and kids so the damage wasn’t permanent. I feel it is my duty to submit this photo, and confess that I have grown nostalgic for the hat. I’ve looked over the years, and Cosmic Caps apparently is long out of business, and ebay is a bust (why anyone would keep one I have no idea). My goal is to find one and send it to my dad who bought the cap for me such that he “could find me in a crowd.” Then maybe I could pass one on to my poor son. Anyway – if you have any idea where I can find one, please let me know.”
(submitted by Bill)
Mine was red with silver wings. I think I got it because Elton John had one and I was a huge fan back in the 70s.
I think I remember seeing this hat (or one that was like it) in the movie Carrie. (I am thinking of the one with Sissy Spacek) One of the girls who bullied Carrie in gym class wore a hat like it…I seem to remember her wearing it when she had to do extra gym to get her prom tix. Or I am crazy which wouldn’t surprise me in the least.
Oh look, it’s the FTD Florist as a boy! To heck with the reference to Hermes, the Winged God of Greek mythology, this is much funnier.
Is that Bill, as in “Bill Gates”?
Excellent photo, excellent back story, excellent comments. My very first thought when I saw this photo? “Summer Camp, 1980.”
I have to admire any guy with the cojones to share this picture with the world. And I can understand why his parents got him that cap. At those prices how can you afford NOT to buy one.
My nerdy husband has one stashed away in a drawer that he takes out occasionally for such events as Gen-Con, “Nerdy Business,” and other awesomeness that may or may not involve drinking.
He’s had it since he was like, 10, though, but yes. You are not alone.
The little sister in the movie “Adventures of a Babysitter” wore the exact one this man is looking for! I hope he finds it!! I thought it was pretty cool myself!
She wore a helmet like Thor. It wasn’t fabric.
I had a similar hat with the lightning bolts. I think one of my friends had one like yours. Geeks unite!
yup, we had 3 in our dress up closet in the basement. i think we got them from my older cousins that lived in VT for a while… i think they might have been in shelburne, vt – cosmic cap HQ?
1. blue hat with silver wings
2. red hat with antlers
3. green hat with yellow lightning bolts
the blue/silver hat makes appearances at concerts these days, but i think we lost the rest, sadly.
Please don’t. Sometimes we gotta just let it go.
We have one of those! It’s purple with silver wings and was my husband’s when he was a kid. He has since passed it on to our oldest son (6 years old) who *loves* it. He calls it his “faster hat”…you know, ‘cuz the wings help him to go faster. =) I think it’s adorable.
He’s got a bit of the Old Gods going on. This kid was Pagan before it was cool.
Pagans are the ULTIMATE geeks!
I have two hats like this. One is red with silver wings and the other is blue with yellow lightning bolts
Trevor,
I will be happy to buy the red with silver wings hat from you. Seriously.
I would love a hat like that, just to wear to Awkward parties.
I want to go to Awkward parties!!
I think I still have the hat and the ankle wings to match. Let me know if you need them, Bill.
Reminds me of Always pads. The one with wings. Sorry.
LMAO!!!
Have a happy period.. with that hat…. heck that would brighten up any day!
Awesome! Now there’s a hat!
Bill channels “Flash” with his special ballcap and will show the team they’ve messed with the wrong kid.
I bought one at Kings Island a few years ago, look into amusement parks and carnivals
why? why was this hat ever created? why?
I actually have one in the closet. It was never mine, it belonged to my older brother who doesn’t even recall owning it. Mine is yellow with red wings though.
You should do the right thing. Send it to him!
Zippiesdrainage,
I will be happy to buy the hat from you. Seriously.
Wow. That hat is really hard to find on the Internet.
Walmart
Sporting Goods
Aisle 7
Absolutely adorable!!!
cosmic caps probably went out of business because they misspelled “available”. awkward!
I’m pretty sure that’s an exclamation mark after the ‘e’ as opposed to a typo.
What makes you think “available” is misspelled in the ad? That’s how the word is spelled! (AWKWARD!!!!)
What?
I don’t think they misspelled “available!”, I think the exclamation point might look like a l. My new laptop has a really nice sharp “picture”, sorry I’m old and don’t know the correct term.
The term for a nice, sharp picture is called the computer screen’s resolution. ^_^
I’m trying to figure out what I’m missing. How do you think “available” should be spelled? I see “available!” on the ad. – confused
I sooooo want for you to find the hat… BTW, I think the pic is cute!
I agree and want the same. And when you do find one, please post an update photo. You don’t even have to wear the same outfit if you don’t want to.
….but DO pose throwing a ball so we can see if that has improved.
A man walks down the street in a hat like that, people know he’s not afraid of anything.
Ha! Yay for the Firefly reference!
Now the Jayne hat, I can make. I made one for my brother. I should try one of these…
I have a theory that geeks grow up to be good husbands. They’re aware the world doesn’t revolve around them; they have to try a little harder socially. Then one day you turn around and they aren’t so geeky-looking anymore, and viola — you’ve got some decent husband material. A husband who wants to find a dorky hat, but OK….
Just like Patrick Dempsey! Remember his geekiness in Can’t Buy Me Love? Now it’s hubba hubba.
they do. My Husband was a geek. He grew in to quite an attractive adult. The only difference is, he plays D&D on Sundays , where most guys watch football
Geeks, male AND female, usually grow up to be good partners, friends, all-round-nice-people.
I had one similar to yours- made in Vermont. Mine was purple with yellow monster horns, though. I loved it! I lost it somewhere on vacation, though. Same summer, I believe. I also have a spouse and kids, so we both made it out of geekdom! Hurray for us!
Purple with yellow monster horns – that sounds like a Figment hat – I still have mine in the attic I believe.
I was right there with you. Maybe not that hat mind you..but the geek was in me too.
Those hats probably flew off the radar years ago. Have you tried Red Bull?
Bill you do know that the most awkward aspect of this photo isn’t the hat. Not that wearing the hat ain’t awkward. Your posing for a photo with your lack of throwing skills – not that’s awkward.
But I’m glad that you’ve come through that stage ok. But here’s some advice. You were obviously a good kid. The kids of today aren’t near as nice as you. I’d give it a miss if I were you, giving a hat like that to your son.
I think this pic’s cute! lol
And you can’t hold a grudge against parents who want to be able to find their children, can you?
See if someone on Etsy would make one for you.
Asking around on Etsy was my idea, too!
No! Stop the cycle of awkwardness! It ends with this generation!
(JK….I like your style!)
Hey,
I definitely have one of these hats that was passed down by my dad. It’s red with green wings, but I don’t think I could pass it up, it’s just too great. They’re still out there, keep looking!!
I’d be inclined to simply make one. I’m guessing the original source was a mom-and-pop operation which made the wings themselves, then attached them to readymade baseball caps.
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the geek beneath my wings.
Excellent! I LOVE it!
ROFLMAO!!! It hurts when you laugh so hard coffee comes out your nose.
That is the best comment I have ever seen on this site.
Whoa: You are brilliant. The best comment in the history of AFP.
In all the history of global comedy, since time immemorial, there has never been a funnier pun. I actually broke a rib laughing so hard.
Winner! Best comment ever.
I don’t know where to find one, but let me know if you ever find out…coolest hat ever! I would of thought you’d be the envy of every child in a hat like that!
You’re still talking to your dad after this?
I love sentimental men like you.
Maybe any seamstress worth his/her salt could stitch up some wings and attach them to any cap for you?
I believe Natalie on “Facts of Life” wore one of those hats!
Oh that’s right. Ha!
I think this is actually very cute. My oldest brother, we have pictures of him emulating indian warriors and my other brother cowboys and Batman. Ahh…to be young again. I only wish I really was a super hero in real life! Childhood is magical for these reasons.
The original Red Bull.
I remember these caps too. I used to have a collection of vegimals from freemountain toys. I think it might be the same company. They were made in Bristol and Burlington.
You should go to Etsy with that clipping and picture linked and request one, I bet someone could make you one identical to your old one on the cheap!
I was just going to say, I am not a great seamstess, but I would make you one for another posted picture!!
I’m not sure where you can get one, but I literally saw someone wearing one Friday morning on my walk to work. (I work in NYC). They must be obtainable!
Didn’t Natalie wear this hat in one of the earlier seasons of The Facts of Life? I think it was her study hat…
I remember that hat on her!
I believe her hat had lightening bolts instead of wings
Yes! While she was singing along with Kool & the Gang and one wing would always fall down. Oh, disturbing that I know that..
I remember that episode, too…except I think Natalie’s hat had lightening bolts. Then the girls got in a fight and one ended up lopsided and she made a comment about working with one bolt or something like that…Jeez. I watched WAY too much tv.
She said she was working at half wattage!
I love that you know that.
I’m worried what the “other 50 styles” consist of. I’m envisioning 50 more awkward photos. Please tell me your last name isn’t Griswold and your Dad’s name isn’t Clark.
I still have my thunderbolt hat. I think I had a choice between that, the wings and a hat with a fish head on one side and the tail on the other.
OMG, I just want to give that awkward little boy a hug!