The Panty-Dropper

June 8th, 2011

The Panty-Dropper - Behind The Awkwardness

We received this story from Dave (above) and had to share it with you in all of its unedited glory. We hope that everyone can learn something from his harrowing experience and if you don’t believe it was harrowing, just count the exclamation points.

First of all, let me make it clear. This is a true unembellished story.

Nancy was pregnant with our second child Aaron and was probably in about the 8th month, rather balloon like in shape! We were attending a small church in Northwestern, Ohio close to where both of us were raised. As we entered the sanctuary while looking for a pew that would accommodate my wife’s delicate condition, we turned down the main aisle. I was walking directly behind Nancy when it happened! To my utter disbelief and sheer gut wrenching horror, I looked down and saw my wife’s underwear on the floor!!! My mind was a dizzying blur, almost an out of body experience! Different thoughts raced through my head. Oh God what do I do? If I ignored them, someone else might pick them up…. a really bad idea! “Will the owner of the white oversize panties please come to the lost and found” A really really bad idea!! If I move as in slow motion trying not to draw any extra attention, if that were even possible considering what had just happened, (After all how much more attention could we get!!!) an usher might assist me, an even worse idea! ” Here sir, let me help with those…….!!!!!!!!!!!!” At this point my only two options were to:

A. Faint, acting as though I was slain in the spirit, which would seem strange considering this was a non-charismatic church!

B. Act fast hoping that if I moved at lightning speed I could some how reverse time and wipe this event out my mind as well as of the minds of the 12 people who witnessed this but were now trying not to look by rearranging hymnals or making diverting comments. “Look Virgil, isn’t that the third week in a row the pastor has worn that suit”. “Yes Marge, It’s time for the ole love offering”.

As you’ve probably guessed by now I chose the second one and during the following several years tried to blot this event out of my mind. Well apparently God has either a rather strange, almost twisted sense of humor or my wife needed to buy much better fitting underwear because as you’ve probably already guessed, “it” happened again!! Now nearly 6 years later and she, once again with child, at least 7 or 8 months worth, was back to the previous pear like shape! As fate or the mischievous hand of God would have it, we were again in church. This time we were in West Lafayette Indiana at a church we had only attended a handful of times. As we were exiting after the service, we stopped briefly to shake hands with a gentleman standing in the foyer. As we started to engage in idle yet holy chit chat “something” fluttered softly downward toward the foyer’s carpeted floor! At first my mind refused to accept the graphic reality of what my eyes were seeing! “Oh merciful God in heaven, tell me this is not happening again!” “Just let me die now!!!!!” The next few minutes seemed to last an eternity, with time moving as slowly as molasses in January! The sense of dΓ©jΓ  vu and flashbacks to the incident 6 years earlier turned my brain into something resembling petrified silly putty! “Maybe you could send the rapture Lord!” my mind briefly uttered, but quickly rejected the idea when I realized that the three of us would probably be stuck in the same heavenly elevator having the same conversation only now accompanied by harps!

I also know this incident had to be difficult for my wife but let’s face it, women only need to utter either of the magic “P” words (pregnant or pms) and are generally given a free ride no matter how wacky the behavior! “Let’s see mam, you ran five stop lights, created several free form crop circles and turned a poor cow into ground round. Pregnant?…..OK go on and have a nice day!”

Well, we all stood there as still as dime store mannequins for what seemed like a hundred years!! I was still hoping the panties would somehow spontaneously explode to release me from this torment, but alas, that was not to be! I thought of ways to divert attention….. Perhaps start a conversation about da Bears since Chicago was close…. but reality set in and I remembered…I DON’T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT FOOTBALL!!! Darn it… I knew I should have signed up for those intramurals in the eighth grade! Maybe start coughing and act like I was choking.. yes that might just work! Then it hit me.. This guy that I hardly know would perform mouth to mouth on me…. Maybe not as good an idea as I had thought!! (a little too friendly). Well what finally happened was that I edged closer to my wife while straining to chit chat, snagged the panties on my wing tip, reached down as if scratching my leg, grabbed the panties (it was like poetry in motion) until I realized my wife was standing on the other corner of the underwear!!! SNAP!!!!!! “Can this get any worse, Lord?” We finally somehow extricated ourselves and hurriedly scampered out the door. This was our last visit to this church, that is without disguises!!!!

(submitted by Dave)

230 Responses to “The Panty-Dropper”

  1. Lisa says:

    This story was so hilarious, I was crying… I could not stop laughing… I forwarded it to several people. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Jimbo Cooter says:

    Yup… sad. Hated it.

  3. PL says:

    Had a similiar experience when I was pregnant with my second child. I know my husband wanted to pass smooth clean out, LOL!! Thanks for the story Dave!

  4. Jess says:

    Dave, you are the epitome of awkwardness. I applaud you good sir.

    • Dave Wallace says:

      Thank You Jess, I consider that a badge of honor to be considered the epitome of awkwardness. Thank you so much ! lol Dave

  5. TVann says:

    I really enjoyed that Dave. I guess its to your wifes happy relief you didn’t actually have a photo of it to share. The story does create the picture though. Thanks for the giggles.

  6. Nat says:

    Dave, regardless to what anyone else says, I think you’re a fantastic storyteller!

    Wonder how many of those people have thought over the years “remember that weird man that dropped panties in the church that day”? =)

  7. Dave Wallace says:

    Thanks so much, Paula and Cindi! You both made my day. If something I write even makes someone smile it is a good day but laughing until you cry, well that is a GREAT DAYYYYYY!
    I just enjoy recording my thoughts on real life events. Believe me, I can’t invent things funnier things that real life! lol Thanks again my friends…… I appreciate you kind words! Dave

  8. Paula says:

    when I read this, I laughed until I cried…then I called my mother and made her read it out loud and we both cried!!! I can sure see this happening, since when I was in the seventh grade, it happened to me! I was a fat little girl and accidentally put on a pair of my grandmother’s panties(she lived with us) to wear to school…when I was in the lunch line, they began slipping down, down, down and dropped to my feet. I stepped out of them and quickly kicked them behind a column! Nobody must have seen me ’cause you can imagine the teasing I would have gotten at that age! Thanks for that wonderful story, Dave…you are hilarious!

  9. Cindi says:

    My husband is nearly blind and as I was reading the story to him he became frustrated as I couldn’t stop laughing. I too have been pregnant, five times, and sooooo could relate to the events. We look forward to reading more stories from Dave.

  10. Sarah says:

    Good thing everyone Dave’s ever met wrote in about how funny/accurate/not-douchey this story is. Truly awkward.

    • Dave Wallace says:

      Sarah, I truly value your input and am glad you took the time to respond. I have met many thousands of people over my sixty two years and count many of them as close friends.

      Of all the 180 responses, I only know two, my son and nephew, and do appreciate their kindness and caring concern!

      Thanks again, Dave Wallace

  11. CdH says:

    This happened to my husband! His elastic waist band was hurting his hernia so during a live play he went to the bathroom, took them off and put them in his pocket. We were the first to leave the theater when his undies dropped out of his pocket and at my feet. I panicked at the approaching mob leaving. Should I kick them aside or run? I grabbed them and we burst out laughing all the way to the car. Thanks for reminding me of this event of 1973.

  12. Mike says:

    Dave- what a great story! I’m sure Nancy wanted the rapture to happen right then!!
    To the liberal drones and the brown shirts out there that think you are better than others: get a life
    I’m related to Dave, Nancy, Ian and Aaron and can tell you for a man who has accomplished many things in his life and then get Parkinson’s disease: he hasn’t let it stop him from trying to do the things that he likes to do, in fact he’s an inspiration to a lot of us and to be able to keep his faith in God while the disease consumes him is very telling. God bless you and your family Dave!!!!!!!!!!!
    (was that too many exclamation points?? Well too bad πŸ™‚
    I look forward to more stories, hope they’re not about me!

  13. Dave Wallace says:

    Thanks to everyone that responded. Your thoughtful comments are very kind and such an encouragement! For those that doubt the authenticity of the story, I understand your skepticism as to the mechanics or physics of falling panties ( underwear) however, I guess you will have to trust me that it happened, (TWICE)!

    I will share that I have joined (Exclamation Mark Anonymous), and am trying my best to show restraint, but there are times when something gets me so EXCITED OR TICKED OFF I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    oohh that felt good.. breathe in, breathe out ……. calm down Dave. I my have to turn in my Excamation Key along with number 1……….. oh well, I will be sending in another life story in a few days! Dave W.

    • Ricki says:

      Hahaha! Dave, you are such a great sport! Your enthusiasm and charisma are palpable. I’m sure you must be a hoot to everyone you know! Thanks for sharing your wonderful personality with us.

  14. RS says:

    Loved reading the story. It’s the funny awkward things that can happen to us, but hopefully don’t, that make us laugh. Hey, ridiculous things happen! I’ve know from experience. You laugh and get through it. So surprised to see how many bitter people check out this site. Must be a huge burden and extremely taxing to be so judgemental about something so harmless. Please find another use of your time and energy, it’s draining to the rest of us.

  15. Cynthia says:

    One of the BEST STORIES EVER!!!

  16. Lynn says:

    When a story is so engaging that you do not see the sentence construction at all, you know it is good. I didn’t see the words all I saw was the story come to life in my mind. Bravo! , When I was pregnant, I walked all the way thru church, returning from the restroom, with the hem of my dress tucked into the back of my panties. I so wish that I would have had my husband be so chivalrous as Dave because I was mortified when I discovered it!

    • Alicia says:

      Oh my! A similar thing happened to my mother, only my father stood back and let her walk through the back of the sanctuary while chuckling about it! Church doesn’t always bring out the best in a person!

  17. T says:

    Too funny! Thank you Dave, you have a way with words. I wish I could share my stories with my friends and family like that!

  18. Robyn says:

    I loved this story. Thanks for sharing it. I have an 11 month old and, although I never had any trouble with my underwear, I had plenty of other troubles and I can totally imagine this happening.

  19. mandy_Reeves says:

    not that this helps now….but your wife could have worn a nice pair of maternity slacks after learning from the first mishap. I am in the middle of losing an extreme amount of weight…Over 100 pounds and counting…and I have to be super careful when wearing sweat pants or yoga type work out pants…especially while walking in the Wal Mart or Target or Mall etc….the waist gets too big and I could easily end up with my pants around my ankles!

  20. linda says:

    i laughed so hard at this story i was crying. it is hilarious and i can totally see this happening. when i was heavier than i am now (i.e. FAT) i had difficulty with panty hose doing this very thing even though they seemed to fit when i put them on. the elastic waist would slowly creep down off my belly and a couple of times i was in public and the crotch was down to my knees before i could go somewhere and pull them up. at first i thought this story was going to end by saying that the underpants had fallen out of her clothing (static cling from the dryer) so i was happily surprised to find out that her panties truly did slide off her body.

    hilarious!!! thank you for giving me a great belly laugh right before going to bed tonight!!

  21. Chirs says:

    Thought this story was a hoot. Dave, you’re a great storyteller.

  22. Ken says:

    It will never cease to amaze me the number of insensitive, crass and “self important” people there are out there.

    1. You can’t please all the people, all the time. If you didn’t like the story, there are an equal amount of people (if not more) that did enjoy it. Move on to the next one…it’s that simple.

    2. The man has Parkinson’s and one of the things the disease hasn’t destroyed in him yet is the ability to write. Shame on the lot of you for putting him down simply for submitting a story.

    3. I found an oddly disproportionate number of females in the comments bashing this story. Can we chalk that up to the army of feminine nazis out there that bash men regardless of the topic?

    4. Really with the punctuation and grammar police? Are you seriously that glib? Get a life please, people make these types of mistakes all the time. He’s not submitting a draft of his novel to Simon and Shuster, nor is it English 510.

    I could go on, but I predict a similar outpouring of torch-bearing mobs of trolls ready to flame my post to oblivion. Enjoy your endeavor.

    P.S. I thought the story fully engaged the reader and was quite entertaining. Thank you for the submission.

    • Carol says:

      AGREED 100%!

    • Elaine says:

      I’m becoming more and more convinced that people come to these sites for the main purpose of finding something to criticize and make fun of, thus ruining it for anyone coming here to simply enjoy what they find. They’re the bullies of the cyber world, not content with seeing something they just don’t think is funny and instead publicly bashing whatever it is they see or read. Get a life and move on. Don’t ruin it for everyone else. And I hope after reading the comment left by Dave’s son, Aaron, they feel a little shamed. I’m happy to see those standing up for Dave and his story. And I’m fully supporting those who find the grammar-Nazi’s and the nasty comments to be pathetic and not at all necessary.

    • stivee says:

      I loved the story and thought it was really well-written (I wasn’t paying attention to the commas because I was focused on the content). However, since when is it automatically feminist to dislike something that a man wrote? Maybe there’s just a disproportionate amount of females in the comments section. I didn’t see anything feminist in their criticisms; the criticisms just happened to be written by women.
      Also, feminine nazis? Come talk to me when they finally make Werewolf Women of the S.S.

  23. Theresa says:

    This story was pure awesomeness!! It literaly made my night! πŸ™‚

  24. Gal says:

    This story rocks! Thanks for the afternoon laugh!!

  25. becky says:

    I can’t help but sit and wonder the entire time I’m reading this, whose underpants fall off not only once but twice? Like, do you buy underpants so big that you know eventually they will just fall off in public at a moments notice? Are you wearing them on purpose just to see how long it will take for them to fall to your ankles? I just can’t comprehend why someone would wear underpants so large they could literally fall off, not just slip down a little but fall off, completely. This isn’t logical to me. And no, I have never been pregnant but I do know I will wear properly fitting underpants when I am.

    • Reggie says:

      Don’t judge…Just know that there is no such thing as properly fitting ladies underwear when you are pregnant. Another reality would be that there is also no such thing as comfortable bras, shoes, or clothing when you are pregnant. However, I will share a nugget that will be helpful for the day your undies begin to sag…then drag. I discovered this about the 6th month of my first pregnancy… I needed a pair of comfortable panties and while doing the laundry decided that my husband’s fruit of the Loom white tighties looked comfortable. Sure enough…these amazing briefs had a lot of stretch and wide elastic that gripped my ballooning paunch. Best pregnancy undies EVER!

    • Theresa says:

      Um sometimes your skin is very sensitive and just plain hurts so you wear what you can.

    • CB says:

      I’m with you, Becky–and I have been pregnant, twice! Seriously, how do you just let undies fall to the ground? It is hard to find comfy undies, which is why sometimes I just go without (I’ve been at my most pregnant in summer both times). Honestly, I’ve been wearing my bikini as underwear under my clothes, mostly, and it’s fantastically comfortable. As a suggestion, if you ever become pregnant.

  26. Aaron says:

    I’m the Aaron from the story. I can confirm that my mother has revealed that this story is true. I’m not sure why so many people are acting like it’s totally unbelievable.

    Thanks for the all the positive comments you’ve left for my Dad’s story. I know he will find them encouraging. Just so everyone knows my father has been disabled by Parkinson’s disease for many years now. He used to be an artist and a high school art teacher. Since he can no longer do those things anymore he has spent much of his time writing about events in his life, doing photography, and anything else his disease hasn’t prevented him from doing. I’m offering this information to let people know that the story is long because he has a lot of time on his hands because of being stuck at home a lot.

    Also on a funny side note I did not know that my father submitted this until I stumbled upon it today. It’s kinda weird seeing his face on this site. I told him about this site a few months back and he loved it. However I have a feeling that my mother probably no longer appreciates me telling him about the site. πŸ˜€

    • Ashley says:

      Aaron – his story is hilarious! My mom told me of a similar story of her panties rolling off while she was grocery shopping and pregnant with me. It reminded me of that. Luckily, she had pants on so she only had to deal with her own silent discomfort.

      More power to your dad – I think it’s great that he’s making the most of his life. I can’t believe so many people out there are such critical jerks.

    • marian says:

      I laughed so hard that I thought I was having a seizure. This is PRICELESS.

    • Lisa M says:

      Pretty funny, Aaron. Kudos to your dad for telling the story, and kudos to your mom if she doesn’t kill him for telling the story! lol

    • Kelly says:

      Thanks for the update Aaron, your parents sound quite hilarious! I really liked your Dad’s story telling. He should write more!

    • Electa says:

      Hi Aaron & Dave,

      I laughed so hard reading this real life story, it was great and your dad was able to paint a picture w/ words. I know how he feels to a certain degree, my Aunt has Parkinsons and spends much of her time taking pictures and scrapbooking.

      Dave, keep sending in stories, this was great!! I love it. And most definately needed a laugh today!

    • Patti says:

      Hi Aaron and Dave – I have been preggers twice, not had this experience, but just LOL thru all of it – Dave, you have quite a way with words – thanks for sharing (sorry, Nancy, lol). I only read the comments from Aaron thru Ken so I don’t know how people can be so critical (whether we know about Dave’s health or story or not) … i’m like, people, move on if you don’t enjoy a story! Have a great day Dave and family!
      Patti in Canada

      • Patti says:

        Oh, wanted to add my funny preggers story – having to use the bathroom alot, of course, and I had to get out of our row, behind a kind elderly gentleman and forgot about my 8-9 months belly had to get passed my husband sitting behind said man … i about knocked him off his chair setting off chuckles from all who could see … yep, we still laugh about that one 23 yrs later!

    • Colleen says:

      Aaron – I thought this story was very funny and loved how imaginative and descriptive DAve was! You could definitely feel his angst. I hope he posts more (unless of course your Mother blocks AFP!)

    • padme says:

      Thanks πŸ™‚ Tell your dad I loved the story. It’s nice to see people actually write out their thoughts in detail. Everybody these days gets distracted reading beyond 140 characters which is pretty sad. He’s a good storyteller and it was hilarious!

      • Sam says:

        This wasn’t long at all to me. I think some are just being a bit overly sensitive about Dave telling the story from his perspective. I didn’t find Dave insensitive to his wife’s plight at all. In fact, I thought it was cute how he anguished over minimizing both his and her’s embarrassment.

  27. Shaun says:

    I thought this was hysterical!!! And as an exclamation point lover, I didn’t think there were enough!

  28. Paulina says:

    I really appreciated the witty writing style. What’s funny about saying, “my wife’s panties fell down 2 different times and I picked them up?”

    Even though it happened to his wife, it’s called 1st person point of view. He’s telling the story from his perspective.

    Don’t take things so seriously and enjoy them for what they are. Who elected everyone the “awkwark police”?

  29. Tim says:

    Well done, Jillian. I felt like I’ve just been trapped in a vestibule listening to Dave repeating the same story he’ll tell anyone who stands still long enough. This absolutely belongs on AFP. The awkwardness of the fallout from this overblown story is magical (!!!).

  30. Jillian says:

    There’s something to be said for trying too hard to be funny. I think if you have to work so hard by pushing the puns and silly comparisons, the story loses its natural humor. It no longer becomes a good story but rather an uncomfortable recount of something we are all pretending is way funnier than it really is. Please Dave, don’t quit your day job in an effort to follow some far fetched dreams of being a stand up comic or commentator. And for heaven’s sake, buy your wife some decent underwear and omit the word “panties” from your vocabulary.

    • marian says:

      Oh lighten up. This was funny and you know it!

      • Jillian says:

        No honestly it wasn’t. I’m glad you know me so well to say that though. It’s kind of like my husband says when I get a bit to detailed with my storytelling “skip the labor and just get to the baby”. Sometimes less is more.

    • carrie says:

      Jillian, does it make you feel better to trash someone? Ok, you don’t like the story…move on with your life and leave your negative opinions to yourself. Yes, you have the right to say mean, nasty, hurtful things to people who have done absolutely nothing to you, but what purpose does that serve? Try being nice, or if you find that impossible, then just try to be silent.

      Dave, the story was hilarious! I say – follow your dream of being a stand up comic, writer, or whatever!!!!!!!! Write a memoir, join a writers group, just follow that dream to wherever the !!’s lead you!!! =D

      • Elaine says:

        I disagree. Who gives her the right to say mean, nasty things? Especially on a very well-known public site where I’m reading that more people find the story funny rather than not funny, like Jillian here. If you don’t think something is funny, why even get on here to run your mouth about it? How hard is it to just think it’s not your style and move on? I’m baffled by how some people would rather shine for their nastiness rather than move on silently and not be heard at all. For someone who seems to have no sense of humor, I’m curious as to why they even get on this site in the first place. Seems like a boring person, if you ask me.

    • CB says:

      Jillian, I hear what you’re trying to say, and though I don’t agree that Dave should not quit his day job, you’re only voicing an opinion…..people certainly are very harsh on what they perceive to be harshness. Is that ironic? Anyway, I thought the story was very well written, and can see how it was enjoyed by many. The gentleman who wrote it definitely has a gift for words, but honestly it wasn’t to my taste, either. Like, is it really that embarrassing that her panties rode down (which is kind of unbelievable anyway)? I’d be like “yeah, she’s pregnant”. *shrugs* I know I’ll probably be bashed, or have my comment not published or something, but it’s crazy that people can’t just say what they want to say anymore. Yes, people should have a right to do that, even if it offends *gasp*!

    • Erin says:

      Jillian, wow that was really harsh. What was your objective? To make Dave cry? Or just feel like crap for the rest of the day…

  31. Kim says:

    The one thing that made this funny and entertaining for me was the Art Frahm reference.

  32. Toni says:

    I thought this was one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read!

  33. zipper says:

    Can’t believe this story made this sight. It cannot compete with the couple that had their baby and the other couple came in with no underwear on. Now THAT was a story…

    • Jillian says:

      Thanks! πŸ™‚ I appreciate the reference. And yeah I thought so too…

    • Meanie Police says:

      Why do you feel the need to be mean to other people who have done NOTHING to you. I’m am honestly sorry that you can’t just be quiet and NOT be the center of attenion.

      Dave, I love how you wrote the story in first person. I have been trying to accomplish GOOD first person writing and cannot do as well as you! I actually counted the exclamation marks along the way and there were a grand total of 63!!! I can totally appreciate the amount of exclams, seeing as I am a huge fan of them!!! I thought your story was hiliarious!

  34. Kristen says:

    For me, the only consolation of this story is the hope that his wife was dropping them intentionally just to watch his reaction.

    • KD says:

      Now THAT is something I’d do. In fact, I’ve done some ridiculous crap when pregnant to see my husband squirm. πŸ™‚

  35. ian says:

    What a knob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. Alekx says:

    This is TOO good. Hahahahhahahaha.

  37. Heather says:

    I wonder if this guy has ever heard of an exclamation point, this story could use a few.

  38. Louise says:

    I guess I am the only one that thought this was a funny story. Oh well …

    • Lil says:

      No you aren’t Louise. This story is hilarious. I almost cried when he said, “Maybe you could send the rapture, Lord!”

  39. Kim says:

    I hate the word “panties”.

    • jersygrl says:

      Amen. Me too…on a 3 year old girl it’s panties, on a woman it’s underwear.

    • Renae says:

      I have always hated that word, too. Even as a kid, I’d cringe whenever my mother said something about ‘panties’. I much prefer ‘underwear’ or ‘underpants’.

      As for the story, plausible or not, I thought it was funny. And, since I can be overly verbose at times, the length didn’t bother me.

  40. Elle says:

    Alright English majors… So what if the writing style isn’t exactly ready for Weekly World News, I personally thought this was rather entertaining. Though it’s not his underwear lying on the floor people jump to conclusions. Maybe he feared being damned by the church for possible fornication during services? Maybe they would assume he uses his wife’s underwear as a handkerchi

  41. No Capes says:

    Wow! That was difficult to read! All I got out of this story was how his poor wife’s faulty underpants affected him, not her! And how to end all my sentences with exclamation points!

    • Debbie says:

      I thought the same thing. I felt bad for his wife that a) she had this happen to her, and b) her husband made it all about him. If he thinks she wasn’t more mortified than he was – or that anyone was paying any attention to him when her panties were on the floor – he’s totally clueless.

      • Jenny says:

        I felt exactly the same way. Perhaps this guy is just trying to be funny, but he came off as self-centered. If he thought he was embarrassed, imagine how mortified his poor wife was. Being “balloon shaped” and having to bend down to pick up her underwear….and all we read is how HE felt about all of this.

        • Anne says:

          Lol yeah. Honestly about the point where he was freaking out and the moment where he was thinking of pretending to choke (and choosing not to because holy awkward he might do mouth to mouth even though you do the Heimlich for choking) I imagined the wife turning around and slapping him for being such a drama queen…

          Also, I may just be cynical about the internet these days, but I smell a troll and sockpuppets…

    • Erin says:

      I think “faulty underpants” might be one of the greatest phrases ever. πŸ™‚

  42. TRED54 says:

    The Aloha shirt/Tam ‘O Shanter combo is hurting my eyes.

  43. Janet says:

    Art Frahm – good one except she wasn’t carrying a grocery bag with a random fluff of celery at the top now was she?

    Um…and you wrote an entire dissertation about this? It didn’t happen to you dude…it was your wife. And how did she not trip over them the first time?

    Dreadful overblown writing style is right.

  44. Tree says:

    He wears wing tips?

  45. Josh says:

    I am in lafayette right no, wondering if this was at my church. I have to know…

  46. Merv says:

    Hey Dave: you wouldn’t happen to be related to Art Frahm, would you? (Google it).

  47. bryan says:

    This has to be the least funny thing I’ve ever seen on AFF. The only akwardness here is in the author’s dreadful overblown writing style.

  48. Maggie says:

    And why exactly is this in Awkward Family Photos??? Not only is it not funny, it is much too long….

  49. heatherd says:

    Well now everyone knows how she got pregnant in the first place. If she just could have kept her panties up.

    Actually this happened to me while vacationing in Mexico. I didn’t want to get out of line at the airport when my panties finally fell off I just picked them up real quick.

  50. Bzaaaaah says:

    I have an equally interesting story about the time I spilled my coffee.

    It spilled on the table!!!! It took 3 squares of paper towels to clean up!!!! I prayed for someone to end my misery but, alas, it didn’t happen!!!

    It haunts me to this day.

    • Chris says:

      Quota of exclamation marks acceptable… but… there is a distinct lack of ellipses…

    • CB says:

      Ahhhh….add some more fluff and drama, and tell us more explicitly how it made you feel, and you’d have a valid comparison. πŸ˜‰

Leave a Reply

View Mobile Site
spread the awkwardness