When your kid comes home with this, there’s only one person to blame… your kid.
(submitted by Anthony)
My son came home from kindergarten with a gingerbread man and woman that they got to decorate in class……. The girl had a pearl lace garter belt
My brother is 8 years younger than me and when he was in first or second grade he had to write and read something about his family during an assembly. Mom was a hard worker who made good food for us, our uncle was the funny one…I was the one who was nice to him most of the time but sometimes made him say he ate the cookies when it was really me.
Had a friend who wrote and illustrated ‘Peter and the magic shirt’ for some elementary assignment. Things like “Everyday Peter put on his magic shirt”. Where it gets really tear inducing is she misspelled shirt for the whole story, leaving the r off. I wish I had a picture of it. I can imagine grading that one and not being able to breathe by the end.
Hey, every day I like to put on my magic $#!%. I mean, that $#!%’s magic.
I wrote a story in grade 2 about my mum having an affair with a fictional man… needless to say it was brought up in parent/teacher interviews. Turns out I had learnt it on the Australian drama ‘Neighbours’ and Dr Carl Kennedy was cheating on his wife Susan at the time. Mum was mortified… my teacher just about pissed his pants laughing.
haha Neighbours. I remember that happening….it was with Izzy. Sneaky Carl.
My son is 5 years old and just recently brought a picture he drew in Kindergarten. It was beautiful I asked oh what a beautiful sun you drew honey. He said” thank you mom, look the sun has a big butt like you”. I laughed and said “why, yes, yes it does, you used such nice colors”. Kids will be kids lol
We have one from 1st grade where my son writes he was camping with his dad and uncle and they were driving crazy with him in the back of a pick up truck (unbuckeled, of course) and his uncle was drinking beer. There were accompanying pictures. I can’t believe CPS wasn’t called on that one! I asked my husband and the drinking uncle was not driving and my son was only in the pick up for about 3 minutes going about 3 mph. LOL.
In 2006 a kindergarten or 1st grade class sent pictures to the troops in Iraq. The kids were tasked to tell us what they liked. One girl drew rainbows and hearts and said she liked hearts, another kid liked his family and America, another kid liked baseball and playing outside, my favorite kid was Bryce whose picture said ‘my name is Bryce and i like water’. When i saw this picture I immediately thought of my Bryce. Sounds like your kid and i hope it is because for 10 months at the worlds busiest trauma hospital Bryce made me laugh out loud. Maybe the math doesn’t work out but if there are two Bryce kids that interesting, the world’s a better place. Thanks for sharing.
That’s why I fell in love with you since the moment I met you my baby!!! You are a multiple-intellinge-funny-simple-silly GENUIS!!!! Keep up the good work, with your creativity, writing and drawing abilities that you definitely didn’t get from me at all haha!! Love it!!!
I personally am going to get my panties all in a bunch because Brice does not write or act like a 27-year-old. Oh, the spelling! Oh, the immature behavior! He’ll be in the slammer in no time! Probably dyslexic! The stick figures are NAKED! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!
When he was in the third grade, my son had an assignment to write a fairy tale. He wrote -
“The Three Bars
Once upon a time there were three bars. A mommy, a poppy and a baby bear. And then they were hit by a bus.
THE END” (This part took up half of the page.)
I was hauled into the office to “discuss” the assignment. When I read it, I laughed out loud. The teacher was not amused. This masterpiece is now framed and hanging on our living room wall.
Pffft. They just don’t get it do they Spanky McStupid. Teachers have no sense of humor.
I am the teacher who always carried a stack of papers, or a folder or something to hold up over my face when I am laughing at this type of thing. The joy of teaching are the stories like these!
I’m a Kindergarten teacher and I have an awesome sense of humor! Fortunately, I teach with folks who think the same sorts of things are hilarious. We are forever sharing things that the children write and draw. We aren’t making fun of them, just absolutely delighting in the charm of 5 and 6 year olds. I’ve seen some doozies in my day!
When my son was in Kindergarten, his teacher was trying to get them to recall lessons on Christopher Columbus, later the same day. No one remembered a single detail she taught them that day. She told us, as parents, we had to begin expecting them to tell us about their day at school.
So I asked, “Brian, do you know who Christopher Columbus is?” He shook his head, ‘no’. “Have you ever heard of the, “Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria?” Huh uh.
After a few more clues, I could see why his teacher was frustrated.
“Brian, are you telling me that you’ve never heard the name, Christopher Columbus?” He said, “Mom, he must be in the morning class, ’cause he sure isn’t in the afternoon class!”
I would have laughed too!
I could not stop laughing!!! I think it’s hilarious that THE END took up half the page, what a space saver!
This has just made my day. I’ll be smiling all afternoon!
“This page intentionally left blank” would’ve been good, too.
Bryce was paying attention when the teacher taught the lessons on the difference between the placement of “ie” and “ei” in words because with everything else spelled (mostly) the way they sound, he did spell neighborhood and friends correctly.
I die!!!!! So funny!! A++ Bryce.
I bet teachers live for these papers to break up the usual monotony.
My son’s name is Bryce and I can totally see him doing this in the future. Love it!
When I was 8, we had to do an assignment (written on a cut out of a Christmas stocking) about how we think Christmas stockings came to be. Lots of heartwarming stories about presents, loved ones, etc…. I re-named mine the ‘Christmas Stalking’ and wove a tale about a family stopping overnight at an old mansion, yadda yadda, the butler killed them and on Christmas morning all that was left was their socks (stockings). My mother was horrified but the teacher loved it, so mom begrudgingly put it on the wall with all our other school crafts every Christmas
I’m laughing so hard right now! That is just the best! So clever but also so disturbing
Totally agree. If my kid brought that Christmas Stalking project home, it would go up on the fridge and never come down.
That is fabulous! You were so creative!
you must be pretty old. in recent years, you would have been sent to the school counselor and ended up in intensive family therapy (or maybe in group therapy where you were institutionalize). i actually think this is hilarious. which just goes to show how much we over-react these days!
I’m 23, so this would’ve taken place about 15 years ago – I have an 11-year-old brother now, and although there’s only a dozen years between us, things have taken an insane turn since then!
Omg! We used to play Ding Dong Ditch in our neighborhood all the time! Our poor neighbors!
I want to see the graded copy, with teacher comments, please!
YES! SHE WOULD SAY…”Bryce, Good story, but you probably shouldn’t ding dong ditch. ” Or perhaps, ” Why dont you tell me some other things you have done wrong in your next story.” haha
This is why I’ve saved my kid’s “creative writing” assignments from over 30 years ago. They’re too precious to get rid of, especially the ones where the kid’s brother somehow morphs into the evil villain.
OMG, I cracked up when I read this. I totally forgot. I have one where my middle son (he made little bro mad) falls out of a tree and has a broken arm, but apparently that is not enough revenge because in the next picture, while still on the ground from the fall, he gets bit by a snake and dies. But then I guess that was too much cause in the next picture he is at the hospital. He lives but is very sick for a long time. Oh, and the little brother is, of course, the one to call the ambulance to save his life so big brother now owes a huge debt. When he is feeling better, of course.
Hee hee… This makes me smile! On one Hot Summer morning last Saturday… then goes on to say “Old friends” had nothing to do… Ah the wonderful childhood memories this brings to my mind. Thank you so much for the gladness in remembering my childhood. Grew up 10 min. from the beach in Northern California and we were always outside doing something adventurous! Thank you.
This is adorable…and as a mom….I can totally relate. This one’s a keeper!
I have dasided this is one of my favorites ever. Very sneky, Bryce.
bist comant evur
LOL from me too Tim!
You DO know Carrie was copying Bryce’s spelling of “dasided” and “sneky,” right?
Yes. You DO know that I was trying to respond in kind, right? Oh well, at least Sarah and TGIF got the joke.
So why is Anthony submitting Bryce’s masterpiece to AFP? is Bryce still grounded for the admitted offense? this is some good stuff right here. awkward no, but worth looking at anyhow.
Sigh: Its awkward because its embarrassing as a parent to have a kid be so proud of their somewhat naughty behavior. oh…never mind…
Love it! One time in my childhood (70′s), a bunch of us neighborhood kids did this and some dude came out of the house, mad as heck, with a SHOTGUN! My poor little brother was the door knocker, and he was hiding under that nut’s car. He didn’t find any of us. Too bad that screaming dude didn’t scare us all that much. It inspired us to toilet paper his house!
That is BRAVE!
We used to call it “Ring the bell and run like Hell”. But I never did illustrated copy for my parents. It was bad enough to get caught and brought to our parents.
I like the disappearing kid in the last page, showing how fast he ran after ringing the bell.
Not awkward, but cute! I like how motion is represented on the last page.
As a mother, I find this especially HILARIOUS!!!! I would have framed that after submitting it to AFP.
I love everything about this.
I call b.s….and, no, I’m not one of those who cry “photoshop”. There’s something about this that doesn’t ring true-no pun intended…
I have a 10 year old brother, and while his spelling would (oh god, hopefully!) be better, he’d definitely turn in something like this. And my parents would be mortified, but would still keep it.
It’s a ‘small moment’ story. Believe me, as a K teacher, I’ve seen all kinds of crazy stories. Kids don’t necessarily realize that they did anything wrong and just tell it like it is. I’d guess Bryce is a second grader.
you are right NYTeach! Bryce is a second grader who was asked to “find a seed within the watermelon” and write about a “small moment” in his life. Well done!! .. from his shocked mom
I guess Bryce got a ‘talking to’ about the appropriateness of ding dong ditch! Too funny. His writing is superb though. He definitely wrote a small moment. I’ve used the seed/watermelon analogy with my students, but then I end up with 18 stories about eating watermelon. Most kindergarteners are still pretty literal.
My little sister used to turn in stuff like that in first grade. We still use some of the words in family conversation. i.e. “I’ll pice you up at 10pm.” “He toll a schreket.” And yes, she can spell now. She’s a Fulbright Scholar w/ a Masters in Creative Writing.
Sorry I have to say this but this is too cute for words. I love how Bryce spells the words like it sounds!! Well done, Berice!! I’m loving this little gem, story well told with passion. And I agree:
Definitely Best Summer Ever!!
I love the invented spelling. A+, Bryce! His teacher must have had fun sharing that story in the Faculty Lounge and at Bryce’s parent teacher conference. The illustrations are great, too, esp. the kids hiding behind the bushes. Hilarious!
Well told and illustrated.
Hoo boy. I hope you’ve learned to spell!
And that’s why it was the best summer ever! Way to go Bryce!
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