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Thanksgiving Letter 2: Heat Loss - Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Letter 2: Heat Loss

My family has so many crazy holiday stories that viewing AFP’s Thanksgiving Letter has become an annual tradition. We can certainly relate, as we have our own fabled version:

One year, my wife and I hosted Thanksgiving for our extended family of 25+ people. My 92-year-old father – a man who, at that time, still took daily two-mile walks, managed four buildings he owned, and treated his seven middle aged offspring like children – decided HE would continue to have the upper hand in the day’s event. He wanted to make sure every detail was executed to perfection, with minimal disruption from youngsters and other family members who hoped this would be a fun gathering. A few weeks before the holiday, Dad handed me this instruction letter: It was written on he back of a (used) business sized envelope that he hand-lined with a ruler, presumably to save the cost of a piece of looseleaf paper.  For those who can’t read his handwriting, it reads:

For Thanksgiving Dinner November 2004. These are just a few thoughts. Perhaps you already have yours. Aim is to present a hot meal at dining time: Serve all guests younger than 5 years prior to service to adults. Count the youngsters as they come in the front door. Immediately gather their dinner plates (1 for 1). Have three (adult) people fill the youngsters’ dinner plates. This should be a fast phase. Try to discourage talking. Have the parents assist the kids. Remember the heat must be guided this time period so that the parents will enjoy a hot Thanksgiving dinner. Larry is watching heat during THIS PHASE. The adults are now in process of having their plates filled by TWO FILLER UP adults. Dessert is served to children and adults at the same time and coffee and tea is served in readily accessible cups & saucers. Perhaps paper cups and Sprite for children. Sprite or nothing. Get the youngsters satisfied as quickly as possible to minimize heat loss for the moms and pops.”

(submitted by Larry)

The Bird - Thanksgiving

The Bird

Somebody wasn’t feeling very thankful.

(submitted by Jessica)

Facebag - Kids

Facebag

“I was a cool kid, with my 8-bit face on my tote bag just in case we got separated.”

(submitted by Victoria)

The Christmas Goose - AFP Hall Of Fame

The Christmas Goose

He was just pointing out the man who deserves all of the credit.

(submitted by Calvin)

The Groomspig - Wedding

The Groomspig

 

(submitted by Patrice in Canada)

Naughty & Nice - Christmas

Naughty & Nice

Clearly, being good for goodness sake isn’t enough incentive.

(submitted by Sofapizza)

We’ve Got The Power - Behind The Awkwardness

We’ve Got The Power

“My sister and I enjoying a beautiful Pennsylvania fall day under the power lines with our dog, Smokey.”

(submitted by David)

Justice League - Halloween

Justice League

They ran out of money right before they got to Spiderman.

(submitted by Paul)

It’s My Birthday - Babies

It’s My Birthday

“We were celebrating my daughter’s first birthday and this picture was snapped of my daughter, her father and her nana. She did NOT want to take any pictures and did NOT want to be held.”

(submitted by Jillian)

Sad Devil - Behind The Awkwardness

Sad Devil

“This is my best friend on Halloween when she was about ten. She was NOT happy with her mother’s choice of costume for her, and apparently, the make-up job was sub-par as well because it looked, as she wailed with indignance, “It looks like I’m crying blood!”

(submitted by Haley)