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Family Portrait

Bean Machines

“My grandmother worked at the Blytheville (AR) Canning Company when I was a kid (owned by Bush’s). At one point, she presented us with matching shirts for Showboat Beans… I’m guessing “Bean Machine” would be powered by flatulence? My mother had the grand idea of a (rare) family photo of us in said shirts. I’m the little kid on the right who can’t close her mouth (still true). IDK if my brother was sticking his tongue out at the photographer or if it had been at me. My mom’s 70’s-era hair is just awesome, as is my dad’s porn-stache (which was usually accompanied by a full beard that he’d just shaven–scaring the bejeebies out of 3-year-old-me). My grandmother passed away ten years ago, and this was a treasured photo still proudly on display in her house when we emptied it out.”

(submitted by Beth)

Happy Nothing

“My stepmom’s friend just posted this picture of her kids on Facebook.”

(via source)

Plaid To See You

“It took Dad forever to find just the right tie.”

(submitted by Tara)

Harnessing His Power

“In 1991, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. My Father, at the time, was a photographer whose studio was in our home. After a long day of tests and hospital visits, he decided to take this photo of me in my epilepsy test equipment, which is worn over a few days… I still don’t know why he took it, but what you see here is a shirtless, awesome looking ten-year-old boy with acid-washed jeans and perfectly feathered hair.”

(submitted by Jesse) 

Punchout

“Circa 1983. My dad clearly has no idea whats going on. Smile!”

(submitted by Carley) 

Minus Mom

“This is a family photo that was taken back in 2004. My Mom stepped out of frame to take off her glasses at the last second and the photographer (having had no warning that she was going to do so) kept shooting anyway. My Dad, brother, and I all had quite different reactions.”

(submitted by Kelsey) 

How To Label Your Family

“My Mom labeled this family photo for us kids before we died so we would know who was who, and who was a bitch.”

(via source)

A Kiss On The Cheek

“The photographer told him to love on his mommy, so naturally…”

(submitted by Nathan) 

Unbreakable

“My two sisters had leg injuries and my dad had two partially fractured vertebra because he fell down the shed in our garden. (Everybody is doing good though and they will be fine soon!) My dad had the great idea to take an early Christmas photo to send our friends and relatives to show how happy we are. My mom and I added our own dressings to fit into the picture.”

(submitted by Sebastian in Germany)

Nightmare Before Christmas

“This was our family Christmas card. Trust me there are many more gems like this one. As we finished Thanksgiving dinner, we all dreaded the coming family photo, to embarrass us for many more generations. The things that some mothers do to their children border on child abuse.”

(submitted by Andrew)