Stories

Awkward Family Story: The Jockey

Before taking my boyfriend on a vacation to meet my family for the first time, I gave him what I thought was ample preparation for how “upfront” they all can be. I was driving around with my older brother and boyfriend, trying to come up with fun activities for the long weekend. I suggested we go horse back riding, but my boyfriend (who is on the extremely short side) said he hated horses. My brother, who only met him mere moments earlier, chimed in, “Why do you hate horses? You’re jockey sized.” Awkward, but not as awkward as when we arrived at my parent’s door, only to have my father shake his hand and ask if those were girls pants he was wearing. They were. Double Awkward.

(submitted by Larissa)

Awkward Family Story: The Liver Steak Incident

I was at my boyfriend’s house to have dinner with his family for the first time when I saw the liver steak. Let’s just say that is not my favorite food. The window was so clean that you couldn’t tell if it was open or not. Everybody left the dinner room to answer a call from grandma and I had the bright idea of throwing the liver out the window but my plan failed because the window was closed. Awkward.

(submitted by Gabriella)

Awkward Family Story: The Plunge

We were staying at my in-laws’ house over Easter. They live in a small town. During the afternoon when 17 family members were there to visit, I needed to use the bathroom after a pretty large meal. I stopped up the commode with the copious amounts of toilet paper required after the deed. My in-laws, unfortunately, did not own a plunger, and all the shops in town were closed for the Easter holiday. So, my father-in-law used his arm to unstop the commode.

Awkward.

(submitted by Andrea)

Awkward Family Story: The Cure

On our first trip to my boyfriend’s hometown to meet his parents, I developed a killer migraine. The headache was so bad, I couldn’t keep any medicine down due to severe nausea and vomiting.

After a few hours of watching me suffer with the headache, my boyfriend (now husband’s) father came up with what he thought was a wonderful solution: giving me migraine meds via a suppository. That’s right: my future father-in-law (who is a doctor, by the way) was offering to insert medicine in my butt. Awkward.

Miraculously, upon hearing his offer of help, I decided my migraine was cured.

(submitted by Kathleen)

The In-Laws

One day when my mother-in-law was visiting, we decided to watch a video of my daughter hunting Easter eggs. The egg hunt had been held at my parents’ house, so my mother-in-law had missed it. When the hunt was over, the video suddenly changed to show me sitting at my parents’ table talking. My mother-in-law and I watched as I turned to the camera and said, “Stop taping me!” My husband, from behind the camera, said, “Why?” Without missing a beat, I replied, “Because I don’t want you to tape me while I talk about your family.” Awkward.

(submitted by Melissa)

Awkward Family Story: Nice One, Sis

One Christmas when I had just turned 14, my grandma and grandpa flew all the way across the country to celebrate with our family. There were several long lost family members there including my younger sister and I who are 10 apart in age. As all of us are just sitting down for our dinner, my grandma looks at the table and says “Oh, I’m going to feel like a glut after this meal!” In turn my little sister pipes up with “I don’t know what a glut is, but I know what a slut is! As everyone at the table is trying to hold it together, she finishes her comment with “My sister’s one!!”….yeah, awkward.

(submitted by Andrea)

Awkward Family Story: The IM

My son, Devon (he is 9) and I were Instant messaging each other, as he is across the state visting my parents. Here is the conversation we had…

BeyondFabulous1: HEY BABY

“Devon”: I miss you and a chicken got chased by a dog

BeyondFabulous1: I miss you too. Is the chicken ok?

“Devon”: it was aroster he lost almost lost is tail feathers

BeyondFabulous1: ohh no. where did the dog come from?

“Devon”: me and jasmine were walking on the trail this black dog came

BeyondFabulous1: ohh ok. did it go away now?

“Devon”: it hapened yesterday night

BeyondFabulous1: so the rooster is going to be ok?

“Devon”: I thing so

BeyondFabulous1: you thing so?

BeyondFabulous1: lol

BeyondFabulous1: what did you do today?

“Devon”: I just was working on my fort then I played my psp

BeyondFabulous1: ok. Well we are thinking we will leave next Thursday after your dad gets off work… so we will be there really late

“Devon”: I left something in the dog chsing story

BeyondFabulous1: what?

“Devon”: dog got hit by a shotguns dinner time

BeyondFabulous1: are you having the dog for dinner?

……………………..And then he was gone. Awkward.

(Submitted by Brandi)

Awkward Family Story: Big in Texas

My mother was a beautiful woman but of low self image. To compensate for this, she liked to wear revealing clothing. We still tell stories of the backless “Victoria Secret” dress my mother would wear to pick us up at school. Still knowing all of this, I invited my future husband (then boyfriend) to meet my mother. I tried to build her up for him, saying she was tall and good looking… so we walk up to her door and ring the door bell. The entrance is a good 6 inches higher then the entrance step. My mother throws opens the door and is wearing nothing but a string bikini made out of the Texas Flag, star on one DD size boob, red and blue strip on the other exactly at my husbands eye level… Awkward.

(submitted by Kyra)

Awkward Family Story: The Funeral

When I was pregnant with my first child, my Grandma passed away. I didn’t have anything to wear to the funeral, so I had to settle on a low-cut maternity blouse that made my breasts look enormous and made me very self-conscious. After the funeral, one of my aunts approached me and in front of the entire family, loudly announced: “You are getting a fabulous chest!!!” I turned six shades of red and blurted out defensively, “I can’t help it. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve gone up a couple of cup sizes.” She was actually referring to a chest of drawers that I had unknowingly inherited….um…yeah…very awkward.

(submitted by Lori)

Awkward Family Story: The Ornament

For Christmas my moms entire side of the family gets together. One Christmas when the family was exchanging gifts, my great aunt came over to thank me for the ornament I gave her. She said thank you then took a second look at me and my cousin sitting next to me and told us we’d make a cute couple. No one really knew what to say. Awkward.

(submitted by Rachel)