Stories

The Email

So, my boyfriend’s mom sent him this email prior to a weekend with her and her mother….

Dear xxxxxx,

When you come to Mooresville please bring my black computer cord. I think I left it in your bedroom. Also, there is a blue Delta blanket on the couch which I brought there. Could you bring that too?

There is a problem about mom’s house and you may want to stay in Thomas’ house after the first night. Mom’s toilet doesn’t flush big number twos. I had to wrap mine up in plastic bags and newspapers last night and put it in the garbage. It is really terrible but she has a toilet designed to use less water, for economy purposes. I try to go elsewhere if possible and you should too.

Also, mom doesn’t want you and Jane sleeping in the same room because you are not married. Jane can sleep in the room with me and you can either have the other guest room or sleep on the porch with Milly. I’ll try to get a sleeping bag from Thomas.

I am planning on making a vegetarian chilli pot for Jane. There is also ham and cheese for sandwiches and plenty of yoplait. You are to help yourselves to the refrigerator.

Talk to you soon.

Love, Mom

(submitted by anonymous)

In Stories • June 25th, 2009 • 155 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: A Little Less Conversation

My entire extended family was sitting together for Christmas dinner when the topic of fidelity came up… great topic for the dinner table I know. So my mom goes off on a rant about a lady she knew who cheated on her husband while they still had young children and ended up marrying the man she had this affair with, and how that was the most despicable thing to do to a family, and how she didn’t know how this lady lived with herself after ruining her first marriage, on and on for about 10 minutes… and my aunt interrupts her to comment, “You do remember that Jim and I met and started our relationship while I was still married with young children with my husband Charles, right?” Awkward.

(submitted by Iris)

In Stories • June 24th, 2009 • 55 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: You Go Grandma

It was my granddaddy’s 80th birthday party. Of course, the rest of my family decided umpteen million pictures were in order beginning with the great-grandkids & granddad and eventually ending with my grandmother & grandfather sitting together. Well, when trying to position herself, my uber-conservative and naive grandmother said, “I should get on my knees as that’s where I’ve been my whole marriage.” 

…AWKWARD.

(submitted by Kallie)

In Stories • June 23rd, 2009 • 43 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: Weeds

My family took a 2 week camping trip to the Grand Canyon when I was 10. After packing up the wood grain station wagon, my parents, older sister, the family dog and myself climbed into the car. As my dad was backing out of the camping site, he backed into a ditch where big clumps of grass became stuck in the bumper. Dad, being in the big rush he was, moved onto the next camping site but didn’t bother to clean it out. When we hit the border of Arizona, the toll guy asked us if we were transporting any fruit over the border and my dad replied, “No, but we have a little grass in the back.” Awkward.

(submitted by Teri)

In Stories • June 22nd, 2009 • 18 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: The Catch

I was a big Yankee fan growing up and when my Dad bought tickets to take me to my first game, I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to go to Yankee Stadium, eat a hot-dog, and maybe catch a foul ball (I, of course, brought a mitt just in case). And in the fifth inning, I couldn’t believe it when a foul ball was actually headed our way. I stood up, raised my glove into the air…and was knocked to the ground by another fan who jumped on top of me to catch the ball. The other fan was my Dad…

awkward.

(submitted by Dan)

In Stories • June 18th, 2009 • 28 Comments »
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