Stories

Awkward Family Story: Over the Top

When I was 13 years old, my family took a trip to old town in San Diego, California. At the time, I was a skinny kid and very insecure about my lack of muscles. I used to challenge my mother to arm wrestles, etc. because it made me feel better to know that I could beat someone in my family. One night after dinner when we were walking back to the hotel, I dared my mom to move me from a standing position. I bent my knees and readied myself. She charged, rammed into me, and sent all 125 pounds of me flying backwards through a store window of a gift shop.  As you can imagine, a very difficult story to explain to the police.

Awkward.

(submitted by Garrett)

In Stories • June 15th, 2009 • 48 Comments »

Awkward Family Story: Indecent Proposal

My wife and I were having trouble getting pregnant. One afternoon, my sister-in-law came over to my apartment while I was home alone. After a few moments of small talk she told me that she wanted to help us with our problem and would be willing to carry my baby. I assumed that she meant to say “our (me and my wife’s) baby.” But my sister-in-law clarified that she was only talking about me… awkward.

(submitted by Roger)

In Stories • June 9th, 2009 • 81 Comments »

Awkward Email Greg’s Response

greg Says:
May 11, 2009 at 12:16 am | Reply edit

Just a quick response from the author of the unintentionally hilarious email… Yes I absolutely deserved to lambasted for criticizing the writing here in an email that makes me appear to be barely literate. I walked headfirst, hubristically into that trap. And honestly, because I don’t post on the internet much, it was sort of thrilling to BE the douchebag laughingstock who gets slammed by a gazillion anonymous di**-weeds taking pot shots. It’s like the cheapest fame you can get. I mean that’s what the internets are for, right? And my unsolicited advice was absolutely the same type of thing as the guy who goes up to a band and tells them how they could improve. But in my defense, I love receiving constructive criticism. I really had the best of intentions and was being sincere. And the sad truth is that somewhere in my mid twenties I noticed myself mistaking homophones when writing i.e. here/hear, meet/meat. Maybe it’s a form of brain damage? I was late for a meeting and just puked out that email without giving it a second look and I have learned my lesson. So n-e-ways tahnks for reeding my awkward apologia. And yes I think vice “dos and don’ts” are fantastic and who the fu** would say “don’t listen to someone who compares this to vice dos and don’ts”. A big fat sniveling dipsh**, that’s who. xoxo

In Stories • May 11th, 2009 • 282 Comments »

Awkward Email

In Stories • May 8th, 2009 • 346 Comments »

Awkward Family Story

When I was 10 years old, my parents took us on vacation to a water park. I told my dad I had to go to the bathroom; he pointed to a building and let me go in by myself. When I got in, I noticed there were no urinals, and none of the stalls had toilets in them. Confused, I went into a stall anyway, pulled the curtain closed behind me, and did my business all over the floor. When I got out, we started walking away when another man with his son asked my dad if we knew of any bathrooms nearby. My dad pointed to the building that I had just exited. The man said, “No, that’s just a dressing room to change in and out of bathing suits.” My Dad said that was not true, as I had just used the bathroom in there. The other man insisted and my father started to get angry, “Are you calling my son a liar?” My Dad told the man we would all go in together to prove my innocence. Despite my objections, the four of us went in and when my Dad whipped open the curtain to the first stall…

Awkward.

-Kevin, North Smithfield, RI

In Stories • May 4th, 2009 • 48 Comments »