Dad Takes Out Newspaper Ad To Find Son A Wife

March 3rd, 2017

Dad Takes Out Newspaper Ad To Find Son A Wife - News That Makes Us Feel Awkward

If you’ve ever griped about your parents meddling in your life, this story will keep things in perspective.

Baron Brooks is 48 years old, single, and childless. He lives in Salt Lake City, Utah and owns a two health food stores. Like many of us, he wants to share his life with someone special. Also like many of us, his parent wants the same for him. But UNlike many of us, his father, Arthur, was willing to take out a full-page personal ad for his son in the newspaper. Without Baron’s knowledge or consent.

No, this isn’t a synopsis of an Everybody Loves Raymond episode. This is real.

The ad, helpfully adorned with roses, cost $900 and covers Baron’s requirements for a potential mate: she must be pretty, between the ages of 34 and 38, on the shorter side, (Baron is 5’5″), politically conservative, and above all, willing to go along with all of this. (That last one is implied.) Potential partners are asked to travel to a resort in Idaho, where Arthur will screen them and sign off on them before the dates happen.

Why Idaho? Arthur had just vacationed there and thought the state’s more conservative vibe would be a match for his son’s sensibility.

When Baron found out what Arthur had done, he was rightfully embarrassed. Arthur is 78 and really wants grandchildren. (No kidding.) Baron described his dad as “nuts.” Also “neurotic,” “passive-aggressive” and without boundaries, comparing him to Larry David’s character in the TV series Curb Your Enthusiasm. Sounds about right.

Oh, also, Arthur’s profession is breeding thoroughbred racing horses. That has to be the worst example of a failure to separate work life from home life OF ALL TIME.

In the end, Baron decided to have a positive outlook about the whole thing. There was no putting the genie back in the bottle, so he agreed to go on the dates–the ad wound up getting about a dozen replies, which somehow isn’t surprising.

There haven’t been any updates on Baron’s status since the ad went up, so it sounds like he has yet to find love. We wish him luck. And we heartily recommend he try Tinder next time.

 

(via source)

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Ramble On

March 3rd, 2017

Ramble On - Dad

“I’m on the left, next to my mom, my step-dad, and my sister. We’re at my mother’s family reunion. My step-dad was mad that he was being forced to go, so he got rip-roaring drunk before we went. My mom was trying desperately to maintain the happy facade (notice she has an on-the-verge-of-tears look), I was ready to kill them all just for living, and my sister was happily unaware of it all. As long as she was rockin’ the mullet, life was good.”

(submitted by Samantha)

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Lemur Relief

March 3rd, 2017

Lemur Relief - Couples

“My wife and I were on a trip to Mexico. One day on the beach, a guy was walking around with a lemur and a photographer. We thought it wild be cute to get one of the photos he was providing. It wasn’t until my wife made it her profile picture that we realized the lemur was taking a dump on my arm. Now the picture completely grosses me out.”

(submitted by Thomas) 

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100 Percent Snakeskin

March 3rd, 2017

100 Percent Snakeskin - Black And White

“Just a picture of my great-grandpa wearing a suit that he made entirely out of rattlesnake, complete with a tie, shoes, cane and hat!”

(via source)

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Jewel Thief

March 3rd, 2017

Jewel Thief - Kids

“My wife couldn’t find her wedding ring yesterday. Our baby will be a diamond mule the next couple days.”

(via source)

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Dad Writes Creative Notes To Excuse Kids’ Tardiness

March 3rd, 2017

Dad Writes Creative Notes To Excuse Kids’ Tardiness - Awkward Galleries

For parents, the act of getting the kids to school on time might be the biggest challenge of their day, and with five children of his own, Utah dad Seth King has dealt with his share of morning rushes. Whenever his kids, whose ages range from 15 years old to 3, arrive at school late, the administration requires a note from parents. But rather than fall back on the same excuses we’ve all used a hundred times before (“Someone overslept,” “the car wouldn’t start,” “a sinkhole opened up in the kitchen,” etc.), King views these notes an opportunity for creativity. For several years he’s been writing lengthy, whimsical, excuse notes, and more recently he’s been posting them on his Instagram, appropriately named “Late Notes.”

King told The Huffington Post that in addition to exercising his own creativity, the original impetus for writing such long letters was to teach his kids that their actions have consequences. More recently, though, he says the notes have given his oldest daughter, 15-year-old Isabella, more incentive to be punctual–she finds the whole thing a bit embarrassing, which we’re sure only makes it more fun for Seth.

As for the schools, Seth says they look forward to any time a King kid is tardy because it means a new fun letter to read.

It sounds like everyone involved manages to take a stressful situation like running late in the morning not so seriously.

Well, except Isabella. She’ll appreciate this one day, we hope.

You can check out a gallery of Seth’s letters (and admire his penmanship!) below:

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Little Messi

March 3rd, 2017

Little Messi - Kids

“My nephew asked if he could wear his sunglasses. He scored seven goals.”

(via source)

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