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Ambush

“My father in law’s Halloween tradition. (Can you spot him?)”

“My sister said she wasn’t happy about being dressed in curtains and a placemat.”

“My son feeding his fake dog while his real dog sits outside, pissed.”

“It was my oldest daughter’s wedding day. She was afraid she smelled, so her sister who was the maid of honor, dutifully checked her pit.”

(submitted by Kelly)

That’s definitely one way to ruin a toast.

“My friend’s picture as a child would make Joe Dirt jealous.”

“My brother is an a#*hole.”

“My parents sent me these last night. Who knew I was such a passive aggressive kid?”

He’s a real handful.

Somebody’s sniffing up the wrong tree.