oh sh*t – hold on; I just dropped grampa’s head in my lap. My wife will be furious – she told me not to take it off the plate until the rest of the family got here.
I’d love to help at the soup kitchen, but I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now.
“…I wanted a t-shirt that SAID grandma, but you sent me…an…actual grandma on the t-shirt…I mean she seems nice ‘n’ all…”
*note: if it’s not valid to submit more than one comment, please accept my first and disregard the rest, but if not, then I offer all as contenders*
“Hello? Well, this is not a good time, I’m taking a photo with my grandma…”
“Well, she said she just really needed to lay down….please come help.”
“It worked! Grandma helped me scare her off….yeah, I hate blind dates…”
“911? Yeah my grandma’s fallen and can’t get up…..and I really want her to get up.”
Great news. Grandma just saw her shadow. 6 more weeks of smoking.
“OK,OK, Grandpa, don’t lose your head about my smoking! I just went through all that with Grandma.”
I’ve fallen and I don’t want to get up!!
“No, dude, I can’t leave. Grandma had too much sangria and thinks she’s a cat again. I’m trying to keep her calmed down. Last year she tore up my blinds.”
Great. Now I’m going to have nightmares about that little girl and hallway.
Hello? Ichabod? I think I may have a solution…
Grandma, that’s not true, you can still get lung cancer if you smoke horizontally.
I don’t know how you see my fortune in these ashes Grandma.
Grandma, it looks like your right again – smoking can stunt your growth.
No, I don’t think it’s a good night for you to come over and meet my Grandma.
If grandma’s apple pie is not here in five minutes, heads will roll.
“After years of disappointing Thanksgivings, Bill finally succeeded in drinking Grandma under the table.”
“Taking Hoarders to a whole new level”
“Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.”
“Back in her day, they didn’t have all these distractions at dinner. Like cell phones.”
“Taking hoarders to a whole new level”
“Hello Orson. Today I learned that I must always keep the cigarettes where newborns won’t find them.”
Haha… AWESOME early ’80s pop culture reference!
“That awkward night where Grandma brings her new boy-toy over for burritos and sangria night…”
Granny bogarted the joint.
“She said she would put us in the will, so I gave her her cigarettes back. I’m going to let go of her now, OK?”
“Yeah so if you could just leave the pizza on the doorstep, that’d be great.”
Please keep you head still Grandma – I do not wan tot get ashes on you……