The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks!

November 26th, 2013

After years of trying, the real Marney finally agreed to sit down and talk to AFP about her famous Thanksgiving Letter.

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 9.23.43 AMClick here to read the FULL Thanksgiving Letter!


89 Responses to “The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks!”

  1. 4354 Wisteria Lane says:

    This woman is Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross) from the tv show Desperate Housewives!

  2. rdub says:

    If this is in fact Marney and not an actress, she did not answer the one thing that got me more than anything….why is one person instructed to bring a pie knife, but no pie, but the person instructed to bring the pies is told to not bring a knife. That just makes no sense.

    • DrPyrate says:

      I thought about that, too, and could only come up with one thing: because that family member responsible for the pies was so blase and useless (which, the interview confirmed by Marney trying to be SO diplomatic trying not to answer that question, and only confirming it), the need for knife was more important than the actual pies. There would be other pies, most likely, and simply not enough serving utensils in Marney’s arsenal knowing she couldn’t trust that relative.

  3. Paul says:

    She needs a dance and a hug.

  4. Sam says:

    I bet she doesn’t allow wire hangers either. She reaks of psycho. Whew!!!

  5. Sara says:

    Amy is my hero! Did I hear ‘awful’ during that strange nodding silence? I want to be the Amy of all the Marney’s in the world! Marney you might be asking for 12″ but it’s not casserole dishes you need honey!!

  6. Kathryn says:

    I wish I had sent a letter to the nutcase I had today at my home for thanksgiving. She brought in three buffet size side dishes that needed to be fully cooked while I was calling people to the table to fill their plates. The great part was she got all pissy because we didn’t want to wait 40 minutes to an hour for her stuff to cook. WOW I say today I wish Marney would have explained in GREAT detail why you don’t do this to people. My German Shepard’s ate all they could and I had pleasure throwing it to the dogs after she left.

  7. Russell says:

    God bless the poor soul that is married to her.

  8. Donna says:

    One year, when my sister-in-law was hosting Thanksgiving, her invitation stated that each family was to bring…..two bottles of wine, worth at least $20 each.”

  9. Sean says:

    If only we knew you were going to ask her questions we could have offered up so much!
    1-Marney, Thank you for finally consenting. I understand the frustration of being expected to be responsible for the success of something and then the very people who will criticize it actually play a role in sabotaging it. I applaud you for not throwing others under the bus but I worry about the safety of Amy Misto.

    2-AFP, Can you interview the other families in the letter in the upcoming years?

    3-Amy Misto–Have you been back for Thanksgiving since the letter was published? Thank you for submitting this letter. It is a reminder for the rest of us to stay sane.

  10. abbey says:

    Poor Marney….definitely diagnosable… bless her heart.

  11. Liz says:

    In all fairness, she’s absolutely right about the aluminum foil!

  12. Rob says:

    While I have my doubts about whether this is actually Marney, it would be hard to choreography what I saw in the video. The one question that still didn’t get answered (Marney is obviously very proper, big time OCD, and probably wouldn’t have answered anyway): “What’s up with Mike and the cheese?”

    I have never quite figured out what “You know how Mike is” means regarding cheese. I have an idea it has to do with intestinal distress or excessively passing gas but that’s a guess! Besides WHO is Mike? Her long suffering husband? Her rebellious kid?

    How about it? Can any of you Wisconsin Cheeseheads help us out?

    Thanksgiving with my family is a scary and sometimes hostile event, but even I might not be up for a holiday with Marney.

    • Beth says:

      I was thinking that Mike was Mike Byron of the “Mike Byron family”. I may be wrong on that, but that’s who I always thought Mike was. I also wondered about the cheese thing too. Does he not like cheese? Is he allergic? Does he make a huge deal about cheese? So many questions.

      • wundermary says:

        I’m a Cheesehead and I’d assumed she was passing the buck on one of her rules.
        Because, of course, who doesn’t love cheese?

  13. Amanda says:

    I bought Clous du Bois wine today for what I’m sure will be a new Thanksgiving tradition (along with the reading of this letter).

  14. Allison says:

    Wow, I was so excited to see this last night – THANK YOU for sharing this!

    Behind that normal-looking woman is thinly-veiled crazy lady. As my boyfriend said last night, after I showed him this and told him the whole backstory, “There OCD, and there’s Marney.”

    I should add that “regulation size casserole dish” is a running joke with my mom and I this time of the year.

  15. Amy Misto says:

    “While I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time…” Yeah, right.

    And just so you know, Marny, I did, in fact, read your letter and I even brought your damn pies. But guess who posted it to Facebook so that it could go viral? Revenge, even in a non-standard casserole dish, is a dish best served cold.

    • Allison says:

      Can I just tell you that you’re my hero, and your portion of the letter (aside from “regulation size casserole dish” and any mention of regulation size) cracked my mom and I up the most?

    • Fan Andee says:

      Awe. Some.

    • Brian B says:

      If you are Amy and did submit this letter…you are amazing and I love you and your famliy. Marny is a lttle cray…

    • Beth says:

      Did you use the right recipe for the pies, though? Your orders were to use the “silver palate” recipe, were you daring and used a different recipe? And if you are the real Amy, thanks for sharing the letter. :)

  16. CarrieM says:

    Well, Marney hasn’t loosened up any in the years since she sent her letter. It makes me want to show up at her house with a bottle of vodka and a bag of Cheetos — in a 12″ dish covered with foil.

  17. Sibputty says:

    Poor thing has no idea, simply no idea. Other human beings are simply inconveniences to her. She’d make a horrible president (you need to actually listen to others), but she’d make an excellent totalitarian dictator.

  18. Merry Mary says:

    HOORAY FOR MARNEY! She is awesome. I am so glad she came forward and I would be happy to follow the instructions if I were invited to a meal at her house. I like her!

  19. Donna says:

    This is pure gold. Only the first of many times that I will be watching this video.

  20. Brenda says:

    Is this real?

  21. Lurtle says:

    Okay, I feel a bit sorry for Marney because she must feel attacked by all of this. BUT…that being said, yikes!

    I can understand wanting everything to be organized and easy to serve. The problem is that her way isn’t necessarily the best, or only, way. Sometimes, the fun is in the mess. I bet this woman has never enjoyed a Christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving since she was a child.

    Marney, I would like to think that you’re a nice lady who has good intentions and, in trying to make everything perfect (and easier), you got a bit carried away.

  22. Paul says:

    I wonder if that was clos du Bois she was drinking…

  23. Raeann says:

    I bet that’s a glass of Clos Du Bois Chardonnay sitting next to her.

  24. Mick says:

    She may be nuts, but she is a babe.

  25. hedge says:

    Awesome! When I imagined Marney, this woman is exactly the type I was thinking of. Poor thing. Her life must be one stressful hell. Btw, is that a wig? And if so, is it supposed to “hide” her identity or what?

  26. Jayme says:

    She has Michelle Bachmann eyes!! Her family better bring 12 inch casserole dishes for the sake of their very souls.

  27. Teal says:

    BTW…she looks like a brunette version of Anne Coulter. Cold as ice.

  28. Tealt says:

    Please, please, please tell me that woman was an actress that the AFP team found to play Marney. If not, is she for real?! Hook a sista up w/ some Xanax or somethin,’ she needs it!

  29. Charmaine says:

    I just knew Marney would be slim and attractive. Poor Marney is trying to engage in life in a logical manner when those around her are less thoughtful than her. I love you Marney, if the world was more like you, what a pretty, ordered and well functioning world it would be.

  30. Amelia says:

    Everything needs to be stackable.” She’d s**t her pants if she ever had to have Thanksgiving with my family. Dude, she’s wound up tighter than an 8 day clock. Her ability to avoid/not understand questions is better than Jay Carney.

  31. Bluejull says:

    That’s how Anna Wintour would look like if she loved food

  32. MaureenM says:

    OMG!!!!! How awful it would be to go through life wound so tight. It must feel like an electrical current running under your skin constantly just waiting to shock you. Funny for the rest of us though… :)

  33. tom says:

    That was Painfully Awkward! like deep in the soul awkward!

  34. VinnyCor says:

    I don’t get it. . .

  35. dustin says:

    if someone had asked me to create an animated version of the person I thought wrote this letter, I would have been 99.9% accurate down to the hair (which is very obviously cheap dye over grey and flat ironed to death) and glass of white wine next to her.

  36. Jacque says:

    Wow. That was awkward….and not in the good way.

  37. Kelli says:

    That. Was. Greatness.

  38. Susan says:

    Two words: Paid Actor

  39. Patrick says:

    Woah! She’s frightening. I would NEVER accept and invitation to one of her dinner parties.

  40. Lisa says:

    Wow… that actually caused me physical pain. I’m not sure whether to laugh (and point) or cry (and point).

  41. Christine says:

    I thought she was going to be an elderly woman!! I would never want to spend anytime with this woman – family or not!

  42. Megan says:

    Please please please put the whole interview up here. So the daughter/sister/? did not make the pies?? Was she banished from the family? I need to know!

  43. Carolyn says:

    “She’s family…” Best part of the interview!

  44. Julie says:

    “I’m confused.” Did Marney try for years to sit down and talk with AFP? That’s what the caption says. Few things could be more awkward than that interview. Bless her heart. I almost wish we could see the unedited version, as I’m sure it would have increased the awkwardness dramatically.

    • CB says:

      Actually, it says, “After years of trying, the real Marney finally agreed to sit down and talk to AFP about her famous Thanksgiving Letter.” It’s clear to me that AFP were trying to get her to sit down and talk, and Marney was the one who finally conceded….if Marney had been trying for years, I don’t think AFP would have turned her down…..

      • JMM says:

        CB, you’re right.

        But the reason Julie thought it read the opposite is that the sentence isn’t actually clear at all! It contains a misplaced modifier.

        “After years of trying, the real Marney…” The phrase modifies the noun “Marney” not AFP. It should say:

        “After years of trying, AFP finally got the real Marney to agree to sit down and talk to us about her famous Thanksgiving Letter.”

        Let’s use 12″ regulation grammar, people! (I am so Team Marney.)

  45. Skeemer118 says:

    Awesome! We love you Marney!

  46. fireflight says:

    This was the most awkward interview I have ever imagined. Not sure if this is the real Marney or not, but one thing is undeniable: AWKWARD!!!

  47. Anne S. says:

    Well. That was even more awkward than the letter.

  48. Anita Bonita says:

    Priceless!! She is completely awkward, even in person :)

  49. SottD says:

    Wow….that truly was Awkward…..she was clearly upset……

  50. Denise says:


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