The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks!

November 26th, 2013

After years of trying, the real Marney finally agreed to sit down and talk to AFP about her famous Thanksgiving Letter.

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 9.23.43 AMClick here to read the FULL Thanksgiving Letter!

 

89 Responses to “The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks!”

  1. arden says:

    The woman in the video is an actress named Julie Harris.

  2. Emily says:

    Marney 2016! You think Hillary is a HBIC?! Pfft. Marney would get this country into shape.

  3. Anne says:

    Lids, stackable. Lids, stackable.

  4. MF says:

    This seems really fake….

  5. JRO says:

    I am in love with this woman. I recently had to suffer through a Thanksgiving meal with NO stuffing (we forgot) and a curried (curried!) Turkey, I would have been much happier at Marney’s house and would have gladly followed her instructions to the letter!. She wants things to be done right so everyone will be happy. And that’s commendable. Someone else in her family should host Thanksgiving and see how hard it is! Better yet, Someone should take her out for a nice dinner.

  6. RJG says:

    After hosting Christmas dinner where someone brought a dish with a rotten ingredient, which made the dish indelible, I had a revelation. All this time, I thought Marney was the psycho. I thought she had control issues.

    Now, in my sudden enlightenment, I’ve realized the truth. It hit me like a bullet between the eyes. Her family, like mine, are the psychos. They’ve forced her into this. Their unorganized and bumbling ways made this a necessity. These instructions were merely a reaction to prevent her incompetent family members from ruining Thanksgiving.

    Marney doesn’t represent the threat. No, friends. She is the savior!

    Dear Marney:

    You are a genius. Your benefit to society has only been partially realized. If I may be so bold, you have a duty to share your wisdom. Share your do’s & don’it’s. Get on YouTube & change the world of holiday gatherings video by video.

    You’re welcome in my home anytime. I’ll have Haagen Dazs peppermint bark & vanilla in my freezer ready for you.

    Best wishes,
    RJG

  7. diane says:

    is it just me, or did her answers seem a little strange…?

  8. J says:

    Am I the only one who thinks that interview was fake?

  9. db says:

    Even the interviews are awkward!

    Seriously, this made me a little sad. But, I suppose that’s part of the holidays, too.

  10. LisaP says:

    I am so happy this has happened. I feel my life has come full circle because I got to see Marney.

  11. Julie says:

    I love Marney and I wish I could have Thanksgiving at her house. That family is going to be in a world of hurt if she decides to stop hosting. Their Thanksgiving will start to look like mine, with the kids eating stuffing out of cereal bowls and pies all squished together in a heap.

  12. Billiam says:

    The interview is, unbelievably, better than the letter. The die is cast, the next step is clear: on to the relatives! What do the Mistos have to say, and will they even read what you write about them? What about the turnip-obsessed Byrons? And Marney poses a deep philosophical question that kept my awake all night- how can a casserole that fits 15 lbs of mashed potatoes NOT be oversized?

    I want to know these people, and Marney too– are you medicating with all that Clois du Bois? What is your psychic pain?

    • Pep says:

      Oh man I can’t stop laughing! ‘What is your psychic pain?’ hahahaha! Billiam thanks for absolutely making my day!!!!

      Marney reminds me of an aunt of mine, serious sphincter issues….

  13. John Boy says:

    I think I would prefer to stay at home.

  14. V says:

    “Regulation casserole dish” is now a new part of my vocabulary.

  15. Hap says:

    Go Marney Go! Hey you know, the world functions because we have different kinds of people who focus on different kinds of things. Sometimes our particular focus can swing a little beyond the range of normal, but on the other hand, uber-organizers are pretty useful in lots of scenarios. I could use one, because I’m a major slacker, myself. :)

  16. JMM says:

    I love Marney more than I can say. She’s full of common sense and sound organizational principles. I’d be honored to have dinner with her, invest in her Fortune 500 company, or live in her Banana Republic. And I’m not even kidding.

Leave a Reply

View Mobile Site
spread the awkwardness