15 Experiences Everyone Had At Grandma’s House
Going to your grandma’s house is one of the best parts of childhood. It’s a prime opportunity to get spoiled, hear the dirt on your parents, and get spoiled again. Let’s all relive the wonderfulness by reminiscing about these 15 quintessential parts of the grandma’s house experience.
1. The butter cookie tin bait-and-switch
You know the drill. Every grandma had the blue tin of Danish butter cookies hidden somewhere in her house. You would locate it, but instead of finding delicious cookies, you would find sewing equipment or vacation slides. And if you’re like me, (i.e. dumb), you would fall for this every time you visited.
I’m pretty sure everyone’s grandma was secretly the host of a hidden camera prank show.
2. Playing with your parents old toys.
No matter how hard you tried, you could not have fun with them. Eventually you’d realize, “Oh, this is why Dad turned out like that.”
3. Toilet rugs
It’s fine, as long as nobody shines a blacklight on it.
4. Plastic furniture covers
The polite way to say, “I don’t trust you kids not to destroy my home.”
5. Plastic carpet protectors
The polite way to say, “At least we didn’t put you in a kennel.”
6. First edition Tupperware
This Tupperware is so old it remembers exactly where it was when JFK was assassinated.
7. Classic, borderline inappropriate movies on VHS
Your grandparents wanted you to have a good time, but their children’s entertainment options were limited. Instead, they’d pop in a VHS of a movie made before 1960, like The Bridge on the River Kwai. So what if you’re six? It’s never too early to learn about the Japanese occupation of Burma.
8. Bad candy
I’m lucky enough to have a grandma who realized this candy is AWFUL, and kept better modern candy on-hand for our visits. But she still kept this stuff handy, for those time when you want a cough drop, but without the medicine.
9. Expensive silverware
Our grandparents are probably the last generation to have fancy silverware. We millennials are so broke, any silverware we inherit will be traded to the Wastelanders for gasoline and food.
10. Crocheted everything
When even the tissue box gets a crochet cover, it’s time for an intervention.
11. Decorative teacups
Every grandma’s house had to contain at least 1,503 pieces of unused kitchenware. Some grandmas would collect teacups and saucers with different designs, others would pick a theme and run with it. My grandma collected teacups with birds. Probably because it was less bloody than hunting them.
12. The china cabinet
Because you need a place to store those teacups. You were always told not to go near the china cabinet, which of course made you need to touch everything inside. China cabinets are basically a twisted psychological experiment.
13. Inconspicuous TV furniture
I’m pretty sure these are from an era when it was still considered tacky to own a television. Hiding the TV inside a normal piece of furniture made the whole thing more palatable. Like how you hide your labrador’s worm pills inside a ball of cheese.
14. Old school exercise equipment
These things were loud, smelly, clunky, and probably not assembled correctly. The only time they got any use was when it was too rainy to go to the park, so you turned them into a makeshift jungle gym. And then you fell off, hurt yourself, and developed a lifelong aversion to exercise.
15. The sly money handoff
At the end of your visit, your grandma would slip you a little cash, like a mobster greasing the palm of a crooked politician. No, this ploy didn’t fool anyone else, but that wasn’t the point. The point was the fun of it.
Man, grandmas are the best. Give yours a hug today!