15 Kids Who Learned The Wrong Things From Their Parents

There’s no denying that kids are like little sponges. I don’t mean that they’re helpful with cleaning, I mean the way that they absorb absolutely everything the adults around them say. Even if it’s something you just said once, in a moment of anger, there’s pretty much a guarantee that you’ll hear those same words come out of the mouth of your precious, innocent child.

Here are 15 examples of just how embarrassing (and often hilarious) it can be to hear your own words said by your little kids.

15.

“Once I was joking with my sister in front of my 7-year-old nephew and I said, ‘Snitches get stitches.’ He asked what that meant, and I explained that it’s what you say when someone tattle tales on you. Well, a week later when my nephew was being disruptive in class, the teacher said she was going to send his mother an email…and he told his teacher, ‘Snitches get stitches.’” (Via mandyciampa)

14.

“I’d had an exhausting day with my 2-year-old and 4-year-old, and took them with me to the grocery store. I was prowling the store for wine and muttering to myself, ‘I just need my fucking wine, goddamnit!’, when an old lady passed by and my 4-year-old stopped her and said, ‘Excuse me, Lady. Can you help her find her fucking wine, please?’” (Via alexism49c46a196)

13.

 “Once my 5-year-old daughter was whining and I told her, ‘I don’t want to hear this crap.’ Later, when I told her to pick up her toys, she repeated, ‘I don’t want to hear this crap!’” (Via mezamarcii)

12.

“A car almost hit mine while I was driving with my 2-year-old son, so I said, ‘You fucking asshole!’ Well, the next day my son didn’t want to go to the potty, but I insisted that he try — and as he took his pants off, he said very quietly, under his breath, ‘You fucking asshole.’ I had to leave the room to laugh. (Via n44786cbf9)

11.

“My husband texted me one day, saying ‘Care to tell me why our toddler clapped back at a slow car?’ I asked him what he meant, and he responded saying, ‘MOVE ? YOUR ?FUCK?ING ? VE?HIC?LE?!’ Yup…learned that from me.” (Via Samantha Wink, Facebook)

10.

“My 3-year-old was talking to her friend from preschool, and the friend said that her dad says a funny word, ‘dingle.’ My daughter responded, ‘You wanna hear something funny my dad says? FUCK YOU!” (Via cristinar40dc0464f)

9.

“I broke my toenail and screamed, ‘Holy shit!’, and my son heard. I totally thought he forgot…until we visited my mom, she kissed him on the cheek, and he turned to me and said, ‘Holy shit, her breath stinks!’” (Via meme89)

8.

“My boyfriend and I were trying to convince my daughter to sign up for softball, and she said, ‘I’m not interested in doing something where balls are flying at my face.’ Of course, I quickly replied, ‘Well, there goes your social life’…and she was really confused.” (Via add04g)

7.

“I once yelled, ‘Are you fucking shitting me?!’ to another driver while in the car with my kids, and about ten minutes later, my son yelled the exact same thing when he dropped his sippy cup.” (Via Steph Pavlic, Facebook)

6.

“My son had limited verbal skills, and once when he was three years old, we were driving to his speech therapy appointment when someone cut us off, and I shouted, ‘MOTHERFUCKER!’ Well, after I calmed down, we went on to my son’s appointment, where my darling little boy toddled up to his therapist, and when she asked how he was doing, instead of his usual nonverbal response, he smiled up at her and said, ‘MOTHERFUCKER!’” (Via Meredith Spies, Facebook)

5.

“We were driving past a school bus stop one morning, when my partner pointed out the crop tops and skintight pants the girls at the stop were wearing. I shook my head and said, ‘Hoes these days.’ My 6-year-old then sighed in response, ‘Hoes these days.’” (Via katih4159ebe12)

4.

“One snowy day I was driving to the grocery store with my kids and we almost got into a bad accident. I started spewing about the ‘shithead’ in front me, and all of a sudden, I heard my 4-year-old ask from the backseat, ‘What did the shithead do, Mommy?’” (Via katlady122193)

3.

“A bunch of us were driving out of town for the weekend, and my friend said something stupid, so I hit her on the shoulder. She replied, ‘Spank me and call me Daddy’. Her 6-year-old brother then reached over from the backseat and smacked her on the arm repeatedly saying, ‘Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! See, I’m calling you Daddy!” (Via gretcheno3)

2.

“My ex had such incredible road rage that whenever my 2-year-old heard a car horn, she would yell, ‘Moooooove, Bitch!’” (Via jeremyl4606a1580)

1.

“My 2-year-old daughter had overheard our discussion about how rude people used to call cops ‘pigs’ back in the day. One day, when a cop waved at her in the Costco parking lot, she yelled ‘Hi, Pig!’. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me!” (Via nakias4bd0b33f0)

h/t BuzzFeed