15 Ways You Passed Time on Long Car Trips as a Kid
For those of a certain age who suffered through the “National Lampoon’s Vacation” style/Griswold family station wagon experience, the following time-wasters were essential from the end of your driveway, to Wally World, and back.
1. The license plate game
A running account of the 49 other states which will soon prove to possess far more desirable vacation spots than your impending destination.
2. I see something that’s…
In today’s hyper-P.C. world, participating in a guessing game involving allusions to things by color, shape, size, category or function could potentially cost you a shot at hosting “The Oscars.”
3. The alphabet game
Rest assured, whichever child ended up with their stab at the letter “f” was almost certain to have a horrendously rough start to the trip.
4. Mad Libs
If not for these, no child under the age of 12 would ever have bothered to learn what an adverb is.
5. Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall
Or, if Dad had a drinking problem, the far less festive, “99 Bottles of O’Douls.”
6. Staring Contest
See the above, pictured, creepy alternative for those who just so happened to be an only child.
The only scenario in which you could avoid getting into trouble for violently slapping any part of your sibling.
8. Twenty Questions
Your father, after only about 7 of these in: “How many more god-damned questions before this motherf*cking game of yours is mercifully over?”
9. I Spy
Back in the mid-’80s, I had a sneaking suspicion that my brother may have been playing this for the Soviets.
10. Thumb Wrestling
Decades upon decades of innocent family fun until performance-enhancers came along and ruined it for everyone.
11. Are We There Yet?
When playing “20 Questions” with a parent, this inquiry represented approximately 18 of those.
Rock beats scissors. Scissors beat paper. Paper beats rock. Sore loser beats winner to a bloody pulp.
How quaintly morbid. What’s next? A spirited round of “Guillotine Operator”?…
14. Would You Rather?
…be home in your room playing video games with your friends?
If not for this game, odds are, Jakob Dylan and The Wallflowers would never have amounted to anything.