A $1000 Sweater That Will Confuse The Hell Out Of You

Haute couture has always been inaccessible, nonsensical, and impractical. It often feels as though luxury fashion brands compete to out-haute one another by seeing who can produce the most unwearable garment at the highest price point while still convincing rich people to buy it.

In this respect, Maison Margiela is the uncontested winner. The French fashion brand’s (albeit hella versatile) “Black Decortique V-Neck Sweater” is a long sleeve rib knit wool black sweater with “cut-outs throughout.”

In fact, the Decortique sweater is more cutouts than sweater. Adding insult to injury is the choice to both name and assemble the garment as “V-neck,” as well as to present the first (VERY MISLEADING) photos of it on the model as follows:

Like, ok, that’s cool, I personally would suffer reoccurring panic attacks if I had a loop of fabric constantly encircling my knees, but whatever! To each their own This is fine!

But then, on further inspection, one quickly realizes that the handsome gentleman in the above photos is wearing a completely different sweater underneath the $940 black sweater that is being sold.

That, in fact, the lovely colorblocked maroon/green/blue piece of outerwear is not included in the sweater nor the sale price, and that the “Decortique V-Neck Sweater” is actually just THIS:

WHAT? Is MM attempting the ole bait n switch, or are they merely demonstrating that no right person would wear these stitched pieces of fabric together on their own and that their nearly $1000 “sweater” is more of a decoration than a wearable garment?

It’s hard to say. These are questions only the very rich can answer, since they are the only group wealthy enough and stupid enough to buy this this dumbass outer(?)wear. If that’s you, don’t take offense. You may be a rich dumbass, but at least you’re not a poor dumbass.