22 Amazon Finds For The Person Who Is A Perpetual Hot Mess

Does your bed store more clothes than your closet? Do you show up to work meetings with chocolate on your face? Do you look like you just stabbed someone to death every time you eat spaghetti? Then you’re in luck. You see, the slobs of the world have come together and invented incredible technologies to make life easier. These products are affordable, creative, and a must-have for any true slop-monster.

*We hope you dig the products we recommend or just enjoy reading our content. In the spirit of full disclosure, we may receive a portion of the sales made on this page.

22. Can’t drink wine like a normal adult? Try out these sippy-cup style wine tumblers.


You’ll probably still find a way to spill it on your white shirt, but at least you’re trying.

Get it on Amazon for $10.97

21. Oh, and you bet your sloppy ass there’s a beer version as well.


Drink like a baby while you get drunk like an adult! It’s the best of both worlds.

Get it on Amazon for $17.95

20. For those inevitable stains, there are these nifty instant stain removers.


Get it on Amazon for $6.40

19. Stay clean and classy with this adult bibs.


Literally, no one will be able to tell you’re not really wearing a 3 piece suit.

Get it on Amazon for $23.99

18. You’ll never have to worry about spilling wine again with this combo stopper/pourer.


Not only do they seal in the wine’s freshness, but they also keep you from panicking when you knock the bottle off your coffee table and onto your rug several times.

Get it on Amazon for $8.28

17. And when you somehow find a way to spill it anyway, just grab some of these wine-wipes.


They’re made with natural ingredients and come in a sleek, sexy package. Just like you! ?

Get it on Amazon for $6.97

16. Stop trippin! Literally, with these no-tie shoelaces.


Perfect for when you’re drunk and a little klutzy or totally sober and a little klutzy.

Get it on Amazon for $9.99

15. Painting your house? You need this pouring paint lid.


Unless you want to stare at a green spot on your hardwood floors forever. Trust me.

Get it on Amazon for $6.20

14. Ever heard of the Staybowlizer?


No, it’s not a hemorrhoid donut. It’s a stabilizer for your mixing bowls, so you can toss a salad without getting dressing all over the floor and lettuce all under the stove.

Go ahead and keep salad tossing jokes to yourself, please.

Get it on Amazon for $34.99

13. These deodorant removers will get rid of that sticky feeling at the end of the day.


It’s almost as good as a shower! Especially when you can’t be bothered to take a shower.

Get it on Amazon for $6.07

12. Constantly ruining your nail polish? Same. That’s why you need these amazing clip caps.


They’re like little finger helmets!

Get it on Amazon for $7.29

11. Remind yourself what’s at stake with these strongly worded coasters.


Perfect for when you have guests and you don’t want to make things weird. Just let the coasters be passive aggressive for you!

Get it on Amazon for $12.99

10. Take off your pants and get organized with this closet pants hanger.


It’ll keep them wrinkle free and off your bed. Unfortunately, it won’t stop you from forgetting to put pants on before you walk out in the morning. That’s on you.

Get it on Amazon for $9.87

9. Have a messy dog? A.K.A. a dog? Check out this no-spill pet bowl.


Sure, your dog will still knock it over, spill water everywhere, and then bark at the dishwasher but at least you’re both trying.

Get it on Amazon for $5.96

8. Does your refrigerator resemble the 9th circle of hell? Organize it!


These stackable storage bins will turn your fridge into the cleanest room in your house. Just look how easily it can store your 6 different salad dressings!

Get it on Amazon for $36.54

7. These pouring bowls make it almost impossible to spill your pancake batter.


Almost. They’re also microwave and dishwasher safe!

Get it on Amazon for $16.99

6. Is your keyboard filled with crumbs from the 90’s? Get a keyboard you can straight-up wash.


Also handy for when you spill beer on it. Or when you want to shower with your keyboard.

Get it on Amazon for $61.94

5. Or just get this adorable keyboard brush.


Because flinging crumbs out of your keyboard and onto the floor is technically cleaning.

Get it on Amazon for $6.99

4. If your screens are all covered in fingerprints, you should check out these electronics wipes.


Perfect for leaving a streak-free shine on your TV, computer, phone, tablet, and face. (Okay, not your face.)

Get it on Amazon for $3.62

3. Free up workspace clutter with this quirky pen and clip holder.


Just stab your pens right in there! Go ahead!

Get it on Amazon for $19.95

2. Or you can drape your paper clips all over this weird grey head.


I think it’s supposed to be Einstein? What do I know?

Get it on Amazon for $2.77

1. With this makeup and hair protector, you never have to worry about rubbing makeup on over the head garments.


It may look weird, but no weirder than having makeup all over your collar, right?

Get it on Amazon for $4.55