Austin Restaurant Serves Deep Thoughts With Their Sign

Everything is bigger in Texas (perhaps even, the sarcasm). El Arroyo in Austin may actually be known for the observations they leave on their sign out front even more so than they are for the Tex Mex on their menu. Here are 20 of our favorites.

1.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

While narcolepsy is just a series of obstacles preventing you from maintaining gainful employment.

2.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

And I would’ve called the bitch too if she didn’t get my iPhone 8 in the divorce.

3.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

With the possible exception of farting (I don’t like surprises).

4.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Yes. And most of the time it’s some paunchy, orange dude who can’t seem to stop tweeting.

5.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

And yet another periodic table-related joke fails to get someone laid.

6.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Diet notices, and proceeds to block you — much like the arteries in your heart ever since you’ve been back on pork byproducts.

7.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

But who can stay focused on their email provider when there’s also brazzers.com ?

8.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

I find closing my eyes and picturing Yukon Cornelius on top of the Bumble usually works.

9.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Welcome to Man Boob Island, population of 1.

10.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

But not sorry to Brussel sprouts. They can still go f’ themselves.

11.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Lest we forget your parole officer.

12.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Touché! Or is it “2-che?…”

13.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

And the same goes double for the front half of “peacock.”

14.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Or, needless to say, Google Map.

15.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

“I said I can’t hear you over the moans of my side action!”

16.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Which is precisely why I back over them with my Kia.

17.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

This wouldn’t be a problem had you texted from a rotary phone.

18.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Stoner Buddhists have the same issue with buds.

19.

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

Weather’s response? “Ummm, the eye of my hurricane is up here…” #timesup #metoo

20.

 

Photo Credit: El Arroyo

That is if the romaine doesn’t get you first.

 

h/t: Sad and Useless