When I was pregnant with my first child, my Grandma passed away. I didn’t have anything to wear to the funeral, so I had to settle on a low-cut maternity blouse that made my breasts look enormous and made me very self-conscious. After the funeral, one of my aunts approached me and in front of the entire family, loudly announced: “You are getting a fabulous chest!!!” I turned six shades of red and blurted out defensively, “I can’t help it. Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve gone up a couple of cup sizes.” She was actually referring to a chest of drawers that I had unknowingly inherited….um…yeah…very awkward.
(submitted by Lori)
For Christmas my moms entire side of the family gets together. One Christmas when the family was exchanging gifts, my great aunt came over to thank me for the ornament I gave her. She said thank you then took a second look at me and my cousin sitting next to me and told us we’d make a cute couple. No one really knew what to say. Awkward.
(submitted by Rachel)
My friends and I were going to go to a concert one weekend, but the night before my Dad insisted that I spend the night at his house so I could attend my younger sister’s third birthday party. Of course, my friends had to come with me.When he was driving us back to his house, he pulled out a CD and said he heard it was the hip music. It was Fergie. As the song “Fergalicious” played, we all sat in awkward silence.
As if that wasn’t awkward enough, when we got back to his house he read that there was a parental advisory on the album, and apologized to my friends if it was offensive. Not offensive, just the most awkward car ride I’ve ever experienced.
(submitted by Julia)
I got my first car at 16. The next morning I wanted to drive it to school. So I got in my car and drove to school. When I looked in my rearview mirror my dad was following me! I pulled into the parking lot of my high school and my dad pulled in too. I was parking when my dad honked the horn at me. All my friends and the other kids were staring at me and my dad. My dad got out of his car, told me that I wasn’t parking right, got in my car and parked my car in my high school parking lot in front of all the teens looking on. Then he got back in his car and drove away! Very Awkward.
(submitted by Cheryl)
When I was 15 my parents finished part of our basement to make a ‘hangout’ area for me to bring friends over. I couldn’t wait to be out of the eyeline of my parents so I could bring boys over and makeout. We were shopping for sofas and they asked me what I liked better, the sectional or a regular couch. I blurted out, “I like the sexual!” in front of the salespeople and my parents. Oh, it was so awkward.
(submitted by Stephanie)
Growing up I’d always been used to being mortifyingly embarassed by my mother, who used to assert that all children felt the same way about their parents. Whilst this is obviously true to an extent, I eventually did realize that my own mother was worse than most.
Settling into university and making new friends is always going to be a big thing, and having two friends to stay at home after a drunken night out, my mother (them being two giggly girls) felt in good company enough to invite them upstairs excitedly whilst I was out of the room. The girls – also in possession of terrible hangovers – mystified but intrigued, followed my mother where they were told to close their eyes for a mere moment. When they opened them, my mother was sitting on the edge of her bed with her brand spanking new ventriloquist doll, apparently deciding it would be an appropriate morning to perform an impromptu comedy sketch. Awkward.
P.S. The doll mysteriously went missing not long after, and while I wasn’t actually responsible, I’m utterly grateful.
(submitted by Tweety)
It was my Nana and Grandad’s 50th wedding anniversary, and there was this big party for them held at my uncle’s house. I’d been avoiding showing them a tattoo I have on my hip in fear that they’ll judge me and disown me somehow.
In a moment where I forgot how short I was, I stretched out for my tattoo to be on show for all to see. At first my Nana looked shocked, until she announced to my family;
“No need to worry Kate, me and your grandfather each one have on our bottoms. He swats my butterfly and I chase his steam train on a regular basis…”
(submitted by Kate)
When I was first getting to know my fiance, he had mentioned he didn’t know who his father was until he was 5. Because his mom had remarried while he was very young. As I thought about it, I asked him, “Did you ever question why you had a different last name?” He said, “Nope, because my grandfather had the same last name as me.” So I asked “Well, he’s your grandfather on your mother’s side right?” (meaning that he had his mothers madien name)
He said “Well, sorta” I asked for him to explain. He made me promise not to laugh. So I agreed. He then went on to tell me, “It’s my mother’s mom, see my mother’s father died 2 days after she was born, so she remarried.” I was confused now. How did he have his grandfathers last name if it wasn’t his mother’s father? Well, as he went on to explain, while his mother and birthfather were dating, his mother’s mom and his father’s dad fell in love. So after his mother and birthfather got divorced. His mother’s mom and father’s dad got married. Meaning, His parents are also Step brother and Sister. How awkward.
(submitted by Kathleen)
My boyfriend’s car had broken down, so my dad had kindly offered to come and pick us up. On the way home, there was a group of Galah’s on the road up ahead. In a serious voice dad says, “Kids, hold on tight, we’re going to jump to inter-galah-tic travel.” My boyfriend just looked at my dad, then at me. I could offer no explanation besides, “Dad Joke.” Awkward.
(submitted by Bree)
At my great-Uncle’s funeral my uncle (my great-uncle’s nephew) was talking to his cousin ( the daughter of the deceased) outside of the church. His cousin was holding a small wooden box and after a few minutes, my uncle noticed it looked like she was having a hard time holding it, so he said, “Well, I’ll let you go inside and dump your load” to which she replied, “It’s dad.” Awkward.
(submitted by Samantha)