Meet The Sterns

July 16th, 2009

Meet The Sterns - Mom & Dad

No matter what you do, you will always be in trouble with these two.

(submitted by Eiler)

141 Responses to “Meet The Sterns”

  1. IAmNoOne says:

    Never take a picture after the Pledge of Allegiance.

  2. Snowrider says:

    Just another usual happy day in Moscow circa 1961.

  3. dinerosdeb says:

    oh… who wears pearls to a funeral?

  4. Michele says:

    The matching clocks on their shoulders caught my eye before the stern looks. Too weird.

  5. glasstabletop says:

    oh dear, this reminds me of my Eastern Bloc immigrant grandparents.

  6. Spork Toast says:

    They just *know* that you’re going to knock over one of their figurines.

  7. Josh says:

    All they need is a pitchfork and you get “American Gothic”

  8. Palmesan says:

    They are in a jewellery store, buying the ring just before they go to get married. Both of them thought it was a good idea last night, when they met at that party. Now neither of them is so sure ….

  9. Celeste says:

    I am convinced that these are “Marney from the Thanksgiving Story” parents! Can’t you see them saying to their child Marney: “YOUNG LADY YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING NON CASSEROLE DISHES INTO OUR HOUSE!”

  10. dirtyoldmen says:

    ….sensing the unfamiliar caress of her husband, Matha’s back stiffened. oh the nerve of that man!

  11. Vix says:

    That clock and its reflection just make the photo. That’s super!

  12. meri says:

    She has a fashionably small waist…but very thick ankles. Awkward.

  13. Scrotus says:

    That woman’s feet look very uncomfortable in those shoes. Maybe that’s why she looks so pissed?

  14. audrey says:

    Oww!! THis girdle is killing me!!

  15. Tina says:

    Kay’…first of all…they MUST be at a funeral. Secondly, did anyone notice that weird shape to the lady’s left arm?!? Thirdly, it doesn’t look like the person taking the pic is short. And lastly, the clock on their shoulders is a clock and then a mirrored image. Odd pic, for sher’!!

  16. KatieMB says:

    Mebbe she’s Marnie, and she’s just realizing that someone walked in with a non-regulation size casserole? HOW DARE THEY!

  17. nicswife says:

    so we finally meet Marnie and Mr. Marnie! Happy Thanksgiving!

  18. M!zz Keri Baby says:


  19. Eric says:

    I feel like I am in trouble and I don;t even know them… 🙁

  20. Mech says:

    I thought SURE that was a picture of my in-laws for a few seconds!

  21. Bernardo says:

    I think they are relatives with the Klopeks.

    The photographer was actually on his knees, pleading for mercy.

  22. doggiekittymama says:

    Dark clothes and sad expressions make me think funeral too. Maybe they were siblings who didn’t see each other often-lived far apart. That would explain the decision to take the photo on a sad day. Definetly akward.

  23. labellemere says:

    Looks kinda like a cruise ship cabin w/balcony. Formal night on the most depressing cruise in history?

  24. mark says:

    I think we just found the rear window parents:

  25. madame ruby says:

    It took me a minute to figure out where Mr. Stern’s mouth is.

  26. missturtle says:

    Marney, is that you?

  27. Alyse says:

    They don’t look stern, they look freakin furious! Especially the husband. and i think they were posing cause i can see the mans hand around the womans waist

  28. NorandaPete says:

    We’re going to slap you till’ tomorrow!!!

  29. BonzoGal says:


  30. laurie says:

    They scare me, but…I think I want her dress. I like it.

  31. Charlene says:

    Not only are the wearing funeral clothes, but the woman on the left is not well at all.

  32. Aimes says:

    Marney showing her sense of humor and joking with the photographer…

  33. Cincoflex says:

    You know he had to file for permission to put a hand on her waist.

  34. Mark says:

    Where are they? Is that a travel trailer? It looks like they may be attending a funeral . . . awkward!

  35. Ash says:

    I like the matching chips on their shoulders.

    Mine won’t tell me the time.

  36. Allen says:

    OMG, they’re a rap group.

  37. foxypup says:

    Reminds me (too much) of the “Twilight Zone” photo. haha

  38. Evan says:

    I feel sorry for the photographer

  39. Compound bow says:

    Are YOU talking to me?
    ARE you talking to me?
    Are you TALKING to me?
    Are you talking TO me?
    Are you talking to ME?

  40. Bobo says:

    Two words……Hawtness.

  41. Tim says:

    I can’t help but get the feeling that this picture was the inspiration for many a Stephen King novel.

  42. Crystal says:

    No wonder Howard rebelled and became a shock jock!

  43. springjack says:

    “This IS our happy face. You should see your grandmother when she’s actually angry.”

  44. Just my opinion says:


  45. DK says:

    Okay on the count of three frown for the camera

  46. letsroll says:

    I’m guessing it is a picture from the day of a funeral. Kinda sad actually.

    • Jenany says:

      I’m thinking the same thing — if it’s NOT for a funeral then the lady is making a very bold fashion statement for that era.

    • Doc says:

      But why would anyone choose the day of a funeral as a good moment to capture for posterity? Why would you WANT to remember this day?

  47. brennan says:

    they both have clocks on their shoulders… maybe this should be called the clock on the shoulder family. and maybe the caption should read “you’ll never be late with these two”

    oh wait, that wouldn’t be funny or awkward.

  48. Tony says:

    What are YOU lookin’ at?

  49. sir jorge says:

    I think you guys are losing your touch. This seems ok, not too awkward. They just seem to be in line with their youth, when photos weren’t always available. But I guess that just means awkward…lame.

    • Cherriej says:

      I’m thinkin’ the same thing….. I think these people might be Mennonites (similar to Amish, but not as strict). If that’s the case, then they probably wouldn’t be smiling in a pic. Altho, why was the person was perched on the floor to take the picture????

      • nicswife says:

        mennonites definitely smile in pictures! besides, its not like they’re having this taken against their will!

        • Annie says:

          I was gonna say – yeah, Mennonites are anabaptists like Amish are and some of them wear prayer veils/bonnets/what have you while some wear “normal” clothes. Actually, one o fmy good friends wears shorts/tank tops/make-up and cuts her hair when she wants to & no one at her church cares. It’s different per group. Maybe Cherriej was thinking Pentecostal or stricter Baptist or another religion where people dress conservatively? Even so, I’ve got friends who attend those churches and they goof in pics all the time. I assumed the “short” pic was due to maybe their grandkid took the pic and they were like, “OK, get it overwith and stop wasting film”

        • Hum says:

          are you sure? seems like they are.

    • alymae says:

      no, what IS awkward is the why they took this photo in the first place. I mean why capture a moment if its not a happy/memorable one.

    • Dancin' Homer says:

      This website posted alot of awkward photos when it first started. It’s only natural that the pool awkwardness from which to choose has thinned since then. So this website can either (a) go for days on end with no new content, waiting for that rare photo that fits your definition of ‘awkward’, or (b) continue to post stories and photos that may not always technically be ‘awkward’, but are still pretty damn funny.
      I’m glad they’re choosing (b). At least they’re trying to continue to entertain us. All the critics are free to stop visiting the site.

    • james says:

      what?! they’re not that old. this wasnt taken in the 19th century. this isnt likely to be their first photo. im sure they no how to dress

      • Susan says:

        They looks so awkward it’s not even debateable. They look like dolls on doll stands, with iron rods behind them… is a nice way to put it. They are almost awkwardness personified!!!

  50. simonX says:

    was the pic taken by a very short person?

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