The Thanksgiving Letter

November 26th, 2009

The Thanksgiving Letter - Thanksgiving

 submitted by Kara at www.californiakara.com

Listen to a dramatic reading of Marney’s famous letter.

After years of trying, Marney agreed to sit down with AFP and discuss her famous letter.

And now, you can get the official Marney Shirt! Image of regulation-size casserole dish included.

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3,042 Responses to “The Thanksgiving Letter”

  1. Julie says:

    What the heck is a pie knife?

  2. You Don't Know Me says:

    If I were the June Davis Family, I WOULD use the oversized blue serving dish AND bring two spoons. There would be three boxes of instant potatoes, unprepared, mind you, and I would make them when I arrived. I’d probably show up late too, just to watch Marney freak the hell out. Then I’d laugh, grab a beer and go watch the football game.

    • Yvonne says:

      good God I lost it reading this comment! Makes you want a family member to do this to you just so you can respond like this!

  3. Jaclyn McCullough says:

    If Brie Vandekamp wrote out a list of directions, I bet that this is what it would look like.

  4. Amanda-in-Austin says:

    You KNOW there’s a story behind this, which I’d love to hear. And if everyone hates turnips why are they having them?

  5. timmay says:

    I’d bring a finger and a yard-job.

  6. kellyn says:

    This would be me, which is why I always just do everything myself. Maybe she just should have asked for cash donations instead…

  7. Ian says:

    This lady sounds absolutely crazy and I would avoid this kind of person at all costs. Sorry if that may offend anyone but learn to ******* relax a little bit. And just like the one person said, don’t offer to host the damn thing if it puts so much stress on you and makes you sound like a B****.

  8. Kaz says:

    While Marny won’t TELL you what to do, she would really APPRECIATE IT if you do WHATEVER SHE SAYS…EXACTLY…OK!!!! Thats really not ask too much, is it? Ahh, the holidays…

  9. m. smith says:

    It’s a truly hilarious letter. The woman’s a control freak, and I dare say, very little fun to be around. I believe the family member who submitted the letter to this site did so with the intention of giving us a laugh. I chuckled as I read it. And I heaved a sigh of relief that no one in my family would send such a letter.
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  10. JohnS says:

    Just curious, has Marney or anyone mentioned in the letter, or for that matter anyone in this family, ever posted a comment? Either for enlightenment or clarification, although I’m not sure either is entirely possible. I would love to hear a first-hand account of this dinner and/or the principle’s response to the tremendous reaction this letter receives on this site.

  11. vomit knife says:

    Marney needs to be in an institution, what a control freak. I really hope for all involved that this is a joke. I absolutely love getting together with family for Thanksgiving and Christmas,it is about the only time the whole family sees each other at one time but I would stop going in a heartbeat if confronted with such micromanaging behavior as this. To the poster talking about ” the men and kids heading for the hills when the meal is over” they are escaping the silver, good china, serving dish, cloth napkin hell that you have created. Here is an idea that will solve about 91% of all the problems associated with holiday death marches I mean meals:
    SANDWICHES, CHIPS and 2lt. drinks self-served in red plastic cups. The hostess can send her husband to the store to get all these ingredients and he will come home with the right ones EVERY time. This will leave the women more time to visit and catch up on the past years events and the men can have more time to watch televised sporting events or get in the deer stand Thanksgiving afternoon. The left overs you ask? No left-overs, the guys will want another sandwich at halftime and the kids will be snacking all afternoon. The hunters will be coming back in after dark and they will be hungry, they will eat whatever is in the kitchen. Cleanup is much simpler as well. Got a garbage can? If you want to cook a delicious meal for your family wait until it is just the family, they will appreciate it much more AND help with the cleanup. When you have the huge crowd everyone thinks somebody else is cleaning up so they dissappear. Why would you want to be branding as a control freak with a serving dish fetish and then have to wash a pile of dishes the size of the Alleghany Mtns when you could rake all the paper plates, napkins and plastic cups in the garbage can and sit down with your kin folks for a relaxing afternoon?

  12. Laura says:

    “1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.”

    That is the most mind-boggling and illogical sentence I have ever read! It really sums up this whole letter for me. The family may not like turnips, but they eat them because its Thanksgiving. They cope with Marney’s ridiculous demands because its Thanksgiving. I live in the UK and so don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but surely the point is to get together as a family and…give thanks? I may be wrong but it seems like a holiday for the family to have a good time together. Instead this family force down turnips and listen to a overly controlling banshee. They say there is a thin line between comedy and tragedy, and in this case I can’t work out if it’s hysterically funny and really rather tragic.

  13. Katie says:

    “Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. ”

    “Marney, as a control-freak, you are now required to k my a.”

    Wow. I can’t imagine.

  14. mel says:

    I wonder how ‘fun’ their day ended up being?

  15. LoL Happy Holidays! says:

    it’s sad to see that most of you did not find this letter as thoroughly funny as I did. I literally laughed the entire time I was reading it – so thank u to the person who posted it!

  16. Liza says:

    P.S. Don’t forget to bring booze and your own shot glasses. You’re gonna need it.

  17. Denise says:

    This is rediculous. Printing a requirement for Thanksgiving Dinner. Not only to do that but to insult those whom you expect to bring things. I would not come at all if that is how my family treated me.

  18. Betty says:

    I’d be bringing my own bottle of wine to this shindig.

  19. Tink says:

    I’d write back and ask how much I was supposed to contribute for the pizzas we’re going to be getting. LOL

  20. Spoo says:

    This letter is such a scream! I love how she feels compelled to mention that she is very particular. Like her family is not aware of that? Well, if they weren’t aware before, they sure are now!

    She doesn’t ask relatives to bring a bottle of wine, a bottle of white wine, or even a bottle of chardonnay — it simply must be a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay. OMG.

    She requests a certain dish (not so bad), then requires that they use a specified recipie (over the freaking top)!

    What a &*^%$ control freak. I’d happily beat her to death with a glitter-encrusted corucopia. Does she somehow not realize that even if she did one day achieve perfection with the food, menu, etc, that Thanksgiving is not actually a food competition? Why would you subject your poor family to such horrifying BS? Life is honestly too short to spend even a couple of hours with this freak. I’m giving thanks that I was not born into her family, and frankly she should be glad too!

    Kudos to Amy Misto and I hope she brought a nice pumpkin roll.

  21. Fi says:

    I’m glad I live in Australia.

  22. Cinders says:

    OMG!! This woman is insane. Two words spring to mind, ‘control freak’. Hmmm, maybe they should put her in charge of Halloween…

  23. Daniell Langlois says:

    Wow guys. Sounds like a blast. Hope there is a lot of booze at these Shindigs WITH THE CORRECT SPOON!

  24. Michelle says:

    The point here is that Thanksgiving is about hanging out with family, not controlling what flavor of ice cream the cousins bring or whether or not the appetizer has beans in it.

  25. Terri says:

    My aunt hosts Thanksgiving every year…what she does is send out emails and requests about dinners and asks folks to bring a dish and to tell her what they decide to bring. As time goes on, she is then able to tell others what the current list of dishes is, so there won’t be any duplicates. I think this is an awesome way to go about it. There has NEVER been a shortage of awesome food.

  26. Frank says:

    oh by the way i will bring a casserole dish of shut the hell up.

  27. Joshua says:

    I have people like this in my family. OCD is a serious disorder. Good to be able to laugh at yourself. I’m sure she’s a great person aside from her micromanaging.

  28. Synek says:

    OCD folks are tough to live with. This woman needs to count her blessings, because they have to be more numerous than her family and friends.

  29. InvaderCaitlyn says:

    i laughed so hard when i read “you know how mike is”. Mike now officially is awesome to me.

  30. kmoss says:

    Regulation size casserole dish?!

  31. lagrange517 says:

    Who would star in the movie version??

      • Karen says:

        Marney sounds like the super controlling chef Monica character on Friends (played by Courtney Cox). She’d be good at playing this same type in a movie role, but she may not want to be typecast. Hmmmmm…maybe Sarah Jessica Parker?

        • Sarah says:

          That would be amazing–Meryl Streep as Marney, of course. John Heard as the head of “The Mike Byron Family.” Laura Linney as LIsa Byron Chesterfield. And Anne Hathaway as Amy Misto.

          • Amber says:

            Yep, I agee I see her as Meryl Streep. She would have to be old anough not to want to roll with it any more, and classey enough to want it a certain way, on the cheep that is.
            This has to be the next disfunctional funny Thanksgiving movie! So many of us relate to one side or the other. Me I relate to both, but the bottem line is if you want it your way you need to do it yourself. Can’t controle the world.
            And to the bitter family member whom posted this, understand her issues and give her the respect for bringing your family togeather. Most people don’t take the time to care anymore. She does she just has a funny way of showing it. There.. that’s the end of the movie!

          • Miriam says:

            I see Lilly Tomlin playing Marney.

  32. lagrange517 says:

    I can’t wait until they turn this into a movie.. a la “Alice’s restaurant”. I can’t believe I am sitting here thinking of who would play who!

  33. Kylie says:

    I’m starting to think that wurdnurd is Marny. Lol

    If I got that letter, I’d just stay home and do a nice relaxing dinner for my family. I can only imagine that spending time with the woman is worse than having all of my teeth scooped out of my gums with a wooden spoon.

    • InvaderCaitlyn says:

      Yup, how much ya wanna bet half the families stayed home?

    • Pal says:

      I’m with you. Poor Marny. And she wonders why no one invites her anywhere. I’ve served Thanksgiving at my house for years. I ask friends to bring a side dish or rolls or something but usually I just make everything I like and let them bring things they like. This way, I get what I want and they don’t have to spend as much $$ on stuff like turkey, etc. We all win.

  34. Shawna says:

    I can see why she makes out this list. We once had people in my family swap or
    try to over run what someone else makes and let me tell you
    when aunt1 tried to make stuffing that aunt2 makes from scratch. Mind you aunt1
    tried to make it from scratch to. Aunt1 totally screwed up the stuffing and thus
    ruined my favorite part of Thanksgiving. Aunt1 is usually asked to bring a veggie tray
    but this year she is bringing a ham to. I remember the last time she made a ham it was
    horrible. I totally understand why she asks certain people to bring certain dishes.
    Plus a lot of people don’t want to try to decide what to bring, they like to be told or at least
    thats how it works in my family. If they aren’t told what to bring then we scramble to
    figure out who is going make what and when we are going to have it.

    • LOIS says:

      I sort of understand her point. I come from a large family and if we didn’t organize the menu it would have been a total mess. Some people bring nothing and the ones living the closest to my parents always arrived last. I lived away and always seemed to bring the most food. One sister-in-law did not cook so that family brought all the paper products.
      My brother wasn’t married and did not cook so he brought sodas. Good Baptist family so no bottles of wine. LOL
      Every group needs a plan. If you are expecting 40 people don’t walk in with a small bowl of fruit cocktail if you were ask to bring fruit salad.
      I’ve been there , done that.
      She may be a control freak but we have not walked in her shoes…

      • tatyana says:

        i understand that part.

        And I have walked in her shoes.. and one thing i can say, Love covers all things :)

        The gratification after you put in so much effort and your dishes taste great and everyone is happy and full.. .ah, that is the feeling. Not everything running like a lean production line. Cooking has two enjoyments.. the food, and the sharing part. If every restaurant owner complained when someone salted their food (true story…. “Did you even taste your food? I make sure everything has the right amount of salt!” whoa…), then that would be very bad business. Not everyone sees cuisine as an art form or much importance in details. Everyone has different tastes.. if your aunt likes her dish. She has the freakin right to! darn it. it’s her dish. At the end of the day, you should feel happy, not stressed/upset. If you are overly stressed, something is going wrong.. and its probably you.

        if you care about each other, only a small hint would be enough to get them to bring their best dishes. they want to have a good time too.

        and the person above you who complains about an aunts cooking:
        GEEZ!!! Don’t eat it! That’s why you bring some of your favorite dishes so you don’t starve. The point is that everyone brings their favorite dishes, so if you don’t like your aunt’s cooking then bring your own.

    • Sean says:

      Because Thanksgiving is all about the quality of the stuffing? Or the ham? Isn’t it all about enjoying one another’s company and being grateful for it? Can most people be thankful to be together when they’re treated like dirt?

      • Tracy says:

        I’m with you on this Sean. Although my family coordinates too a certain extent (we all pitch in with BUYING food) and it’s all prepared in one place because the females (sexist!) get together early and start cooking before everybody gets there. But every single stinkin year, something goes wrong. And it’s always something we laugh about. For about 10 consecutive years in a row when I was little, it was the biscuits that were always burnt. One year Grandma made a pecan pie, and forgot to take the wax paper out of the crust that separates multiple crust, and we had wax paper pecan pie. We always have a good laugh at it and never freak out over something silly.

  35. Debbie says:

    So sad for this family! We have all been bringing the exact same dish for years so we don’t even have to plan any more. So simple and enjoyable for all.

  36. Seshat says:

    Eat out.

  37. debbie stumbo says:

    Hey Guys get over it. It is Thanksgiving! My son and daughter-in-law have driven to her parents for years and then turned around around for another 2 hour drive to come see me. This year we are all going to their house! Although somethings on the menu are not my tradition!–I really appreciate their effort! My daughter-in-law hates scolloped oysters-my and my son’s favorite! I will bring them and she does not have to eat them. Who cares-it is always about being thankful for what ever God has given you. If you do not like it then just do not go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Rox says:

    Can you imagine if she was at the FIRST Thanksgiving. She would be telling the Native Americans what to bring, how to serve it, etc. Things would have been very different. The pilgrims would have been kicked out of America… AND TAKE YOUR DAMNED CASSEROLE WITH YOU!

  39. Anna says:

    This is my sister! She doesn’t understand why her boss decided she was not suited to manage people.

  40. Stephanie P says:

    I am pretty controlling but even I don’t know what a ‘regulation size casserole’ really means. Obviously a lid and proper spoon, but should it be of a certain material (glass, cast iron, etc.) size, shape (square, rectangle)? Where is the manual of instruction? This is being very vague. This makes me feel much better since I just request ‘please bring a green vegetable’.

    • Paula Loniak says:

      These poor people have probably had thorough instructions about what constitutes a “regulation size casserole dish” if they’ve been to enough of these Thanksgiving (and, heaven forbid, OTHER) dinners at this OCD person’s home—They’ve possibly even been “gifted” with just the RIGHT size/shape dishes and platters, serving spoons, and yes, pie knives, at various “occasions” over the years—make no mistake—”SHE” doesn’t have to remind them of what she means…..

    • Smoked says:

      Stephanie, your comment reminds me of this past holiday when I went to my Dad’s house. Every year, we invite all of our friends to my Dad’s house to a wonderful holiday dinner.

      My Dad and I spent a full day at the farmer markets to buy the freshest ingrediants and vegtables. We spent all of the next day to cook a really great and fun meal. We don’t ask people to bring food but a friend of the family was insistent on bringing her own “green vegtable” to add to our meal which ended up being two cans of green beans that she heated up in the microwave!

  41. Chrystal says:

    And she wonders why the one probably won’t read it anyway…I would just bring a pizza just to make her cringe lol

    • wurdnurd says:

      And that’s why you wouldn’t be invited. I prefer her understandable controlling (to ensure all bases are covered) to your passive-aggressiveness (for the sake of being a pain in the butt). Lemme guess: you’re the type who’s rarely invited to be a bridesmaid because you intentionally show up an hour late to everything?

      • Uh.................. ,':| says:

        Kindness, children! ;) let’s all play nicely… :) remember we’re here for entertainment, not cutting remarks about other people’s social lives. :)

        • Mary says:

          Hear, hear. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to go to Marney’s for Thanksgiving. I “did” my own family’s Thanksgiving for years, and my husband and I always prepared everything ourselves. People brought desserts, but not because we told them to.
          This letter is supposed to be a joke, right?
          If it’s serious, I wonder whether unmarried adults have to sit at the kids’ table.

      • louis says:

        Ha! I wouldn’t want to come to your events anyway. You sound like Marney! I’ve had many very large dinners and have made most of the food myself. Others offer to bring something and I say “Great!” What’s to control. Have fun! IT’s about being together, not about how Martha Stewart a party you can plan.

      • Knickers says:

        Dude, by the way you just attacked someone you don’t even know, because they were making an offhanded funny comment, I would shudder at the prospect of being a bridesmaid for you and decline immediately. Lighten up. Besides, bringing a pizza to a Thanksgiving function being hosted by a fascist wouldn’t be passive/aggressive, it would be making a point.

        • tatyana says:

          Agreed. after being insulted like that, i wouldn’t show up…

          they still have ice cream for dessert, so who cares….

          i can enjoy my pies, by my favorite recipe, with my favorite box of ice cream with pizza at home.

  42. Patty Marvel says:

    WOW! I can understand some of the requests, such as bring enough for X number of people or have enough serving spoons, but everything else is just nutty! Why should it matter if the container is foil or reusable? Is the type of container food comes in THAT important? Why do people transporting food to her home need to be TOLD to put lids on them? Can they not figure this out for themselves? And why, why, WHY did she have to be so darned specific about which food items everyone was to bring as opposed to just putting one group in charge of bringing two side dishes and someone else in charge of bringing two deserts, etc? My sister pulled that micro-managing crap on the family during a regular, run of the mill dinner at our mom’s house. I got some passive-aggressive attitude from Sis for bringing corn rather than green beans. Well, then YOU make it!

    • wurdnurd says:

      The difference between lid and foil is the ability to stack the dishes prior to serving. Considering we’re looking at 6 families, and very few people live in mansions with unlimited counter space, this is actually a fairly reasonable request. I’m guessing Mike (or someone in his family) likes turnips, hence the request, but for the sake of space, other dishes will likely be piles on top after that person has gathered their fill.

      Also, SIX FAMILIES. I (and probably everyone who’s ever hosted a huge potluck family dinner) kind of do sympathize with why Marny is so specific. Imagine if she didn’t send out specific requests: she’d end up with 20 pounds of mashed potatoes on a plate that takes up half the table, no vegetables, a pint of ice cream, no stuffing and three serving forks and a soup spoon.

      • wax lion says:

        Dude, come on. The point here is that Thanksgiving is about hanging out with family, not controlling what flavor of ice cream the cousins bring or whether or not the appetizer has beans in it. This isn’t funny because she told everyone what to bring, it’s funny because she told them exactly how to bring it–as if it freakin’ mattered who brought the pie knife or whether the casserole dish was regulation sized. I had no idea there were casserole regulations…

        I’ve read this letter a dozen times since it was first posted, and yet this was the first time I registered that the person who brings the pies is specifically asked not to bring a knife–not because the hostess has one, but because someone ELSE on the list is in charge of pie knives. WHYYYYYYYYYY?????????

        • Paula Loniak says:

          Did you notice how the “hostess” mentioned (to the relative in change of pies), before she even listed what that person was to bring, “I don’t know why I bother, she won’t even read this”? She’s already decided that that person is an airhead, hence the request for somone else, listed above, to bring a pie knife, even though that group isn’t bringing ANY pies…she’s not going to trust the “pie loser person” to remember to bring along a pie knife—although I’ve been known to inprovise with OTHER kinds of knives when a pie knife (?) hasn’t been available. Heaven help this family!!!!

        • jlemley says:

          This is absolutely halarious, I thought my family was weird, this takes the cake. and yes, I will bring a solid lid and a cake cutter.

        • Yeah but says:

          Remember there’s probably a little control freak in all of us depending on what we’re controlling. Maybe grandma can provide celebration dinners for her children and their families year after year but should a sibling be expected to do the same thing, year after year? I can actually sympathize with Marnie, although she does seem to go overboard with some of her comments. We are the “go-to house” for all our family celebrations and I know what it feels like to try to organize 38 plus people who expect things to simply happen, seem to have no idea of quantities or types of food needed and don’t give two hoots about the details that all come together to make an event wonderful. I know it’s about family and getting together, it really is, but a smooth running meal where everyone gets enough to eat and it’s not all dependent on the host to supply food, prepare, serve and clean up as well is even more enjoyable (especially for the host). Marnies letter sounds like a result of the straw finally breaking the camel’s back and she had the guts to put it in black and white.

          • tatyana says:

            I am the 8th out of 9, who endures a huge Sunday family dinner each weekend with bunches of nephews and nieces. We do this all the time.. and there is absolutely no need to micromanage. Sorry but being flexible is the only way to manage this. If you go berserk over details then well… ur the weird person every1 hates that ruins the entire get together. I know what managing is…

            But, being anal gets you nowhere.

            In anticipation, Marney should have just went and bought a bunch of spoons if that is a concern… And why does it matter what one prefers to bring instead? It’s not supposed to suit the palate of Marney only… and if she wants something her way, then DO IT. One thing I know is that if I have signature recipe or something I care about, well I don’t trust others to replicate it. People are not equal and are better at specializing in their own dishes, not hers.

            I’m surprised by how many people find this normal. Last time I exactly weighed mashed potatoes… was, well, never. Just give them a headcount and trust ppl to bring enough. If you bring too much it’s ok… there’s something called leftovers. Lids, foil.. whatever… this is not an issue of stacking ability because the last time I checked, the items on the list would never stack. There is no excuse for that instruction or hating someone’s dish/container they brought? REALLY? ok, i can’t even understand complaining about too much salt, but ripping on someone’s dish from last year is OUT OF THE QUESTION.

            oh and most of us hate turnips, so ah, why don’t you bring it? um, you definitely must hate me. but looking at the other instructions, you must hate us all. Lord bless us.

            If I’m cooking, I like making things my way… Sorry, if Marney was in charge, that would be the last place I would want to be. This is outrageous. What a controlling B****. How about some respect? And I can’t imagine her comments on the dishes.. Please use my recipe. “Oh it doesn’t taste as good as mine. AH GAWD, DO I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THE FOOD NEXT TIME AND B*** ABOUT IT IN A LETTER? or should i include all the recipes? oh wait you burned yours”, etc She would never elicit sympathy from me.

            Will she also stand by to see if I am using the right “toilet hand” to wipe? geez…

            And if the “camel breaking her back” was:
            -”one must be VANILLA” ” I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).” screw you.
            -”A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.” I sure hope any brand of water is ok.
            ” BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON!” it serves.. whatever.
            -”no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.” why should Mike follow ur tastes?
            -”Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.” wow, thanks for the talk. apparently marriage makes one an adult. how old is this woman???? guess, I’m not an adult :( should I be happy?
            -”Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe” way to say, “you can’t prepare, jerk”
            -and so on, u get the point.

            …then she deserved it. She probably won’t enjoy the dinner anyway, but paying attention to what details they missed so next year’s instructions will be more thorough.

            Oh she missed one thing.. cold is not equal to frozen. Ice cream is frozen. uh oh. what if it’s not cold enough? specify degrees Fahrenheit? golly. this might ruin the entire dinner.

          • tatyana says:

            oh I forgot to mention that she insulted every single person.

            seriously… when was doing something this rude ok?

            if Marney is soo pissed, order catering… (probably wouldn’t please her palate), or tell someone else to host (probably wouldn’t be happy either). Seriously nobody want to put up with someone like her for the holidays.

            Anyway you slice it, this woman is a control freak. I just hope that her instructions are solid and that she works for a very fine catering/restaurant service.

      • Laura says:

        Marney brought this on herself! I think it’s fairly obvious from the above that Marney is the type of woman who HAS to host Thanksgiving, and everyone else has to be subservient to her requests. You can imagine the other families suggesting they host it one year, and the look on Marney’s face! I would pay anything to be a fly on the wall at that conversation!

        I do hope the Amy Misto family (and the others) get to have a Thanksgiving of their own, and they can eat whatever ice cream flavour they desire! Run Amy Misto! Run like the wind!!!

  43. Mrs Mike says:

    we kinda do this in our family… we send out a list of items needed for the Thanksgiving dinner, and then people email back (reply to all so everyone sees) with their choices! they also include whatever else they want to bring that wasn’t listed. when you have a LARGE family it only makes sense and leaves nothing confusing or left out. the host of course does the turkey (which always ends up being my mom since grandma now lives with them and always was the host before) we dont specify types of dishes and serving spoons though lol

  44. Chris says:

    If you’ve not seen The Best Christmas Pageant Ever )with Loretta Swift, go get it tomorrow. (or read the book aloud to your family) . This woman is EXACTLY LIKE THE CHURCH LADY who runs the church and really, the whole town. This movie is an annual treat for our family. My grown children now each own a copy for their own homes. Don’t delay.

  45. Stefan says:

    She forgot to arrange the list of families alphabetically.

  46. Becky says:

    I’ll bet she has LOTS of friends. It looks like she should be happy anyone even spends Thanksgiving with her…yikes!

  47. Becky says:

    Yeah, she really sounds like she “has a great sense of humor and jokes around all the time.” Yeah, right!

  48. GDA says:

    Hey! It’s the holidays and we’re all in misery!!!

  49. ginlyn says:

    My MIL can be like this. For several years, she has insisted on hosting all holiday meals at HER house. She has 5 grown children, 3 are married, all of us have children. There is like 23 people in all. That we have to cram into a tiny-tiny dining room/living area.

    The last couple of years she told us all where to sit.

    I wouldn’t mind being told what to bring, but it would be extra annoying to be told what kind of dish to bring it in or how to make it.

    From the Hostess point of view, I know from experience how annoying it is to host a huge family dinner and to have either people not bringing enough food or not bringing anything at all. Or they stop on the way and bring a cheapo bag of chips and dip.

    Or say they DO bring what they told you they were bringing but didn’t bring a serving spoon. so now you’ve got to find another spoon…then all the men and kids run for the hills after dinner and leave the women to clean up…after we’ve done all the work!

    So yes, I can see why she’d be frustrated.

    We are lucky…we live 600 miles away from both sides of the family so we don’t have to put up with their crap. We are not going home for the holidays this year. And when we do go up to visit for holidays, we usually do not have to bring anything because of having to drive so far.

    • tt says:

      yep. the men and kids head for the hills when it’s time for dishes… even after the women have done all the cooking. this is why i don’t like the holidays. it’s only a holiday for the men in my family…even though all of the women work full time too.

      • Megan says:

        That’s ridiculous. They run for the hills because you let them. Stop being a f king martyr to your cause and tell the lazy sh! ts to clean up after dinner. And if they don’t, no Thanksgiving dinner next year. Actions (and inaction) have consequences. It’s a shame you have to teach them something their mothers didn’t, I’ll agree. But don’t let yourself be treated like an indentured servant, just because you have a vagina.

        • Ulla says:

          Woah. Chill Megan.

          • Dylan says:

            Actually, I think she’s spot on. Bitching and Moaning about how you get left to do “All the work”, when the only complaint heard is AFTER it’s done and you’re fuming, is pretty freaking passive agressive.

          • Heidi says:

            Okay. So everybody is screaming and threatening each other. Fun holiday. Isn’t thanksgiving supposed to be a holiday about giving thanks; being happy and grateful and all that good stuff?

        • Michelle says:

          Well said!

          • Colleen says:

            So instead the holidays should be about all the women secretly fuming but putting on a happy face so as not to upset the lazy men? Give me a break martyrs.

        • Emma says:

          The only problem I have with this otherwise excellent comment is that I resent the suggestion that it’s a mother’s job to teach a son manners, when his dad could easily teach him by example.

          • Skynard says:

            As a woman…I’d like to say that the thing I dislike about a lot of us is that some of us have no sense of humor. THIS letter was submitted by someone who wanted us all to laugh about it. Instead its been turned into a forum for bitching about lazy men and mother in laws? Highlight of my holidays is when my aunt screams at my grandma that she has had it and she is leaving (happens every holiday)…and then her drunk boyfriend steals her shoes and runs off so she can’t leave. Now THAT’s the holidays. Embrace the crazy…dont fight it..and dont try to reason with it. Believe me, you will have a lot of fun!

        • Etienne says:

          I bet Megan took Women’s studies in College.

          that being said, I agree with her :)

        • Etienne says:

          … and I bet Emma majored in it :)

          • chris says:

            lol, oy with the bitter women. I am a woman. I make Thanksgiving dinner..you know why women make thanksgiving dinner…because men would fry everything, that’s why. So, instead of deep fried turkey, fries, fried okra and fried pie…we get some baked good and some rolls.
            chillax people.

        • Call me Al says:

          Good comment! I wonder what it would be like if I tried to do this at my grandmother’s house. I think i questioned this practice as a child and everyone just laughed at me.

        • Paula says:

          Ya, I let the guys do the, “Oh, the game’s on.” run-away thing once, then sat the Hubby down and explained very politely and carefully that if it happens again at Christmas there won’t be a New Year’s. No whinning, no b—hing, no complaining, no suffering in silence. The men do the dishes after dinner and the Ladies now go and watch the game and have a glass of wine.

          • Wilson says:

            My mother was raised in the “old school” southern household where the women fixed it, waited until the men were done before eating, and then did the cleanup. She raised us better than that.

            When my brother and I got old enough it tickled my grandmother to death that we’d stand and not eat in protest until they sat down to eat and helped with the cleanup. Now I’m a 33 year old single dad and rocking the real manners into my two sons.

            Paula has it spot on, if you’re tired of it, take care of it. If you’re not the direct conflict kind of person, positive rewards with a man go a long way. Some of us you can train by Pavlovian reinforcement :)

            That said, no way in hell I’d attend Thanksgiving at Marney’s place. The chaos is the biggest part of the fun!

      • John BeGood says:

        Bitter much?

  50. Lee says:

    I think I’m a combination of Lisa (non-domestic, married late) and Amy (ignores hyper-controlling crap). In any event, I moved 600 miles away and I don’t bother going back since my grandmother died. My holidays are spent with immediate family and chosen-family, and are occasions of pleasure rather than stress. I like being able to look forward to Thanksgiving dinner!

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