It’s good to be the maid of honor.
(submitted by Jill)
Martha’s Coney Island Hotdog scented deodorant was the envy of all her brides maids.
Yes, Alice, go down the rabbit hole….
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something peeuw
ssssnnnnniiiiifffff…….. Yeah, I give it two weeks
Yep. In fact you missed 3.
Nope… not even a bunch of Hyacinths can cover that smell.
Nope I don’t see any stuble. Looks like you got it all sis!
‘Oh the things you’ll do for your best friend on their wedding day.’
No, sweetheart, it’s not there that I don’t feel so fresh, it’s DOWN THERE!
“In Soviet Russia -> armpit smells you.
I guess if you’re both into that, it’s cool.
Testing 1…2…3… Is this thing on? Can you hear me now?
“As was the tradition of their ancestors the bride is prepared. The ‘Maid of Honor’ first checks the bride for body lice then spits three times into her armpit for luck.”
“He gave you a hickey…where?”
What? It’s my natural scent.
I smell divorce
Jersey Shore fist pump makes its way to the world of nuptials…
Damn girl, you ain’t smellin fresh at all!
Maid of Honor = Worst Job Ever!
“I don’t read palms but your armpit indicates a happy marriage, long life and many strong children.”
Slider, (sniff sniff) you stink.
Maid Of Odor
If the photographer asks if you’re sure on your wedding day, this isn’t what he means.
I think I know why you got stood up at the alter.
“I think we found something old”
It DOES look like Jesus!
for HIS sake I hope thats not the only thing that smells like teen spirit!
Is it something old, something new, something borrowed, or something blue?
You may sniff the bride.
Yes Norma Jean, that is the damndest thing i’ve ever seen.
I agree…shaving WAS a better idea than braiding your armpit hair, Lucy.
I think I can see Russia from my porch.
I told you that on my wedding day, I wouldn’t smell of rot.
Wow that’s some hickey you got there and from the best man! Really?
See any stubble?
Do I still smell like Krystal’s?
Okay, now will you tell me what the people’s elbow is?
“Maid Of Odor”
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue…something smells.
“Does Melanoma count as ‘something new’?”
Sandy was desperate for a last minute bridesmaid removal, so she devised a clever plan to administer a sleeper hold on Denise.
you’re right that mole does look funny
Are you Sure you want to marry him?
My fiance wanted me to be kinky and shave myself for our wedding night. What do you think?
You’re right, you do have a nicer bouquet.
Smells like a bunch of fish. Like a whole lake full of…oh.
“If you look just a little closer you can see why you will forever be a bridesmaid”
“You’re right! Dove does make them appear softer!”
Not little white dress approved
At the last possible moment, Jessica convinced Mary that it was her duty as Maid of Honor to yank the three long, unshaven underarm hairs out with her teeth.
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