Saturday Night Special: The Hostage
June 12th, 2010
Not every girl wants to grow up to look like Barbie.
(submitted by Kim)


The Thanksgiving Letter
Eye Contact (back by popular demand)
LOL Cats
SNS: Me Tarzan, You Jane
Size Doesn’t Matter

THIS IS SO FUNNY and a tad scary
Lil’ Sara P.
“If that mean ol’ Blair witch comes out, I’m gonna squirt her with this holy water!”
When was little Martin and I would make “haunted houses” in my basement for our dads. We found my life size barbie doll… hung her from the rafters with a jump rope, we decided just to be cruel we would put the stool a couple of feet from her so a she died she could see her salvation. Fun times, fun times…
This is an awesome photo … one of the rare ones that are funny in a truly comical way. That devious grin on her face is perfect lol!
OHHH. That’s a Barbie!? I thought it was a carrot!
I never could give my daughter barbie or ken she would rip them limb from limb. But she is now a junior in high school and has turned out quite normal.
I am sorry to say but a junior in HIGH SCHOOL isn’t OUT yet…good luck with THAT one…it’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for…
wow.. I thought the kid with the Barbie was pretty funny. What scared me if the amount of Sarah Palin hater jokes on here.
I approve of this execution.
This reminds me of the little evil kid in Toy Story that killed all of his toys :0
LOL! My kind of girl!
I was always nice to my Barbies and Ken dolls… Now for Donnie Osmond… well when he got married… I chopped his feet off, now my cousin flushed her DO dolls head down the toilet. The things us girls will do when we are DENIED!
What is that she’s holding? It looks like a carrot!
She really did want to be Barbie…. Rosemary’s Barbie…..
“Oh-hi, Daddy! What’m I doin’? Oh, y’know…gettin’ ready top put a cap in Barbie’s a**…”
Me and my sister tied Barbie and Midge to the tether ball and smacked them around the pole with a baseball bat. We turned out okay. Well, at least I did.
This is my little sister! And, I believe that was MY Barbie, and I was crying!
Too funny!!!!!! I knew she submitted this months ago!
Now it REALLY makes perfect sense! Shooting YOUR Barbie while you watch… Reminds me of when I used set fire to my brother’s cars!
I can’t believe the over-analytical observers of this photo. Wow. Over a hunk of plastic and some water. Well, my cousin and I used to burn ants with magnifying glasses. So far we have grown up normal. Except every once in a while I get one ant who will walk by me and whisper to me “Ant killer!” I try to explain I was seven. But they don’t know what seven is. Sometimes – when I see one crawling across the floor of my home, I get the itch. The itch to kill the ant again. And I smash it to bits. Then some other ants come by and eat him. I often get my violin out and play music for the dead ant. The other ants appreciate it. Some have forgiven us for our wrongdoings. Others never will. But I am perfectly sane. Absolutely perfectly sane. I promise! I swear! I love ants today. I hug them. Sometimes too tightly. And I cry to my brother George. And he says tomorrow we will be taking a walk into the forest – I am so excited. George is a great pal. He promised to get me an ant of my very own to hold and pet and hug. I better go to bed now. I get to meet my pet ant tomorrow.
O..kay….
(((LOL!!!))) For. The. Win.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I cannot believe in 2 years nobody has gotten the “Of Mice and Men” reference Lenny- maybe you needed to keep it with bunnies and not ants?…
We used to pop the heads of our Barbies….then they got taken away…..then when we were more “mature” we were allowed to play with them again, as long as we did so “properly”. I enjoyed Barbie, after that…..
I swear I know this girl. Sure looks like a little girl from my hometown. And… she’s a district ATTORNEY.
I actually hung barbie from my staircase once. Ken was angry. I think she maybe cheated while she was “unconscious”. I don’t think knew what that meant.
LOL …my girls liked playing with Barbies like most other girls, but would invariabley tie them up too–bedposts, furniture legs, etc. awww sweet memories
Actually, my favorite part in this shot is the large keg in the background with 5 bullet marks in it! No lil’ water gun did that!
That is a barrel – not a “keg”. LOL. The non-lil’ water gun is clearly plastic in the little girls hands – I think it is even pink. Please stop watching CSI.
dunt be shtupid! vee hev veys of making u talk!
Tickle Me Elmo wouldn’t of been so frightning.
Seeing tiny Barbie tied up seems so wrong.
A flame thrower would have been good too, or a ton of dynamite at the base of the tree. She’s my kinda kid!!!
“Say hello to my little friend.”
Oh Harry, don’t be such a pedant – we KNOW you know that’s a Barbie, because you had to scroll down past all the OTHER comments mentioning “Barbie tied to the tree”.
And this is nothing – now, if she had had her little brother tied to the tree I might be a little worried
lol My best friend used to play “the villain” and tie me to a tree with a skipping rope. Then she’d play “the hero” (usually Wonder Woman) and come and rescue me.
I’m with Jonathon … this isn’t awkward or funny.
A picture of a little girl with a water pistol (?), semi pointing it at a something blurry.
Really? The caption on this photo didn’t clue you in just a little? And you’ve obviously read the comments here because you’re agreeing with one of them, but you failed to notice that everyone else was able to identify the “something blurry” as a Barbie doll? Sorry, but I’m afraid you may be beyond help.
What is that weapon she’s holding?? It looks like, ummm, a Saturday Night Special!
I loved the photo just because the little girl posing is cute and unconventional and then scrolled down to read the comments. Saw the comment about Barbie tied to the tree, scrolled back up and saw Barbie tied to the tree. Laughed LOUDLY and then L*O*V*E*D IT that much more!! This little girl ROCKS!!
“It puts the plastic heels on it’s plastic feet…..it does this whenever it’s asked…”
Okay, that made me laugh out loud and snort!!!!
LOL!!! OMG, you;re response is hilarious…classic…I love it!! Didn’t think anything could add to this pic, but you did it!
WIN!!!!!
Now that WAS funny! Heather, funny stuff!
Phooey, I don’t get it. Is that from something?
I believe that was a reference to Silence of the Lambs.
LOL YEEESSSSSS!!! WIN!
She’s going to take down Barbie and everything she stands for.
What did Barbie do to deserve this? This is sooooo hilarious!!!
Where’s Ken? We need Ken tied to the tree too!
Who do you think tied her to the tree?????
Ken is in the barrel…Niagara Falls is less than a mile down the road.
Brilliant!
The Bratz Girlz gang strikes again!
Aw, wasn’t Llittle Sarah cute? No wonder Mr. Palin fell in love with her
DISCLAIMER: the above comment was made by someone who makes fun of both righties and lefties. Please spare me your wrath.
But you do discriminate! You need to make fun of the ambidextrous people too!
math is hard, let’s go shopping!
So, you gots to ask yourself….do you feel lucky?
No, some girls want to grow up to be Sarah Palin!
(shudders)
um…ok? this one isn’t funny/awkward at all.
Er…. did you SEE the barbie tied to the tree?
It’s hillarious.
I think you missed the Barbie doll tied to the tree. I did at first…
yeah me too. I was confused and then kind of horrified.
Yeah, because Barbie is seriously in trouble and someone needs to call GI JOE or something and save her. Everyone give Barbie the CARE BEAR STARE so we can save her!
Sarah Palin’s parents did a great job! She turned out perfect!
my thoughts exactly
nice documentation. most barbie torture/mutilation is purely anecdotal.
Aww! Remember when you were young and innocent and dreamed of what you would be when you grew up? An astronaut. A movie star. A firing squad executioner.
But then real life slaps you in the face and you end up majoring in something practical. That poor girl probably grew up to be an attorney or something horrible like that. Sigh!
Sweet Mother of God, I just realized she has Barbie tied to the tree. Extreme.
Whatever will Barbie do? Maybe Ken will come and save her! Or maybe. Just maybe not.
way to stick it to the man!
It’s a good start, but it’s so much more fun to watch Barbie in the microwave. Not that I would know….
haha, funny!
I used to shoot at my Barbies with those suction-cup arrows in the basement, after I had chopped their hair off, of course. I also used to tattoo them with magic marker ink and my mom’s sewing needles. This was 40+ years ago before everybody and his/her cousin had tattoos. Good times!
we probably didn’t have them back then!