Pipe Dreams

July 18th, 2011

Pipe Dreams - Family Portrait

Make yourself comfortable.

(submitted by Paul)

83 Responses to “Pipe Dreams”

  1. Squirt says:

    How much you wanna bet these people got a still in their backyard?

  2. George says:

    Is is just me, or does “Mamma” look a lot like actor Paul Williams? Same expression; same height.

  3. Brian says:

    I really don’t think this season of Swamp People has been as good as the last.

  4. Charlie says:

    I wish the dog had a pipe, too.

  5. Brandon says:

    So clearly the kid does not realize that RocaWear hat he’s wearing is a hip hop artists clothing line or maybe he’s a closet rap fan.

  6. Mike G says:

    Most likely staged. Look how clean the jeans are. See how nice here finger nails are. For the photo, she probably just pulled down her hair, glasses, put on a piggy shirt and pipe. Between both guns, they are inconsistent for doing the same type of hunting. I could be wrong, maybe they put on their best jeans and grabbed their best guns for a family photo.

  7. Kelly says:

    Haha. The dog has a “Please help me” look!

  8. Seal says:

    Photo taken by their ex future daughter in-law. She was never to be seen again.

  9. rita says:

    Roseanne reunion?

  10. Gardenwife says:

    …If Sherlock Holmes had been raised in West Virginny.

    Watson! Get me my compound bow. Confound these criminals!

  11. Keenan Pyror says:

    Now that’s one groovy Christmas card photo.

  12. Raybob says:

    Hoggly Woggly shirt *does* tie it all together nicely.

  13. Kelly says:

    This photograph looks like a still from a possibly awesome movie. A work of art!

  14. Susan says:

    Is it me or does the dog look super worried?

  15. ValC says:

    The dog has a look that seems to say “Dear Lord, please, get me out of here!”

  16. Ginger says:

    Is she wearing a Piggly Wiggly t-shirt? You GO, girl!

  17. ephercat says:

    It’s missing a couple of empty beer cans….

  18. Jenny says:

    Kind of sad when the most levelheaded participant in the picture is the dog.

  19. Chris says:

    That is so fake. Ma’s finger nails are painted pink….

  20. Vanessa says:

    Aw, now the dog with no pipe feels incomplete!

  21. Donni says:

    The velvet painting is truly the pièce de résistance.

  22. steph says:

    I envision a no trespassing sign out front of their home. Maybe Walmart had a 2 for 1 special on rifles.

  23. Orchidlover says:

    Good heavens! These people make my family look…normal!

  24. Jean says:

    That poor dog…..”call the police!”

  25. CamdensGramps says:

    Here We are Mr. President. Clinging to our guns and Bibles…….and pipes.

  26. victory says:

    Wait a minute, why does pa have a pipe in his mouth and a pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket? And ma has the pipe on the wrong side of her mouth, was she striving for balance or just wrong? Sonny looks like he is smoking something besides tobacco in his pipe.

  27. B says:

    That lever action looks like a plain ol’ .22 for plinking varmints, but the bolt action looks a little more serious. Not sure what kind of rifle it is, but it’s got a magazine for larger cartridges.

  28. LME says:

    Piggly Wiggly Shirt…Backward Rocawear Cap…
    And yes the dog is terrified, just as I would be.

  29. Jojo says:

    I can’t believe Mumma doesn’t have a gun!

  30. Tim S says:

    “Fido, meet yer dinner.”

  31. Mark Nick says:

    Check out the lighting. This is a professionally shot photo, probabably specifically set up and posed by the photographer. Not just a family shapshot. Every element (pipes, guns, dogs, clothing, beard, even the tee-shirt) was carefully selected.

    • Kelly says:

      Yeeeeah, that’s it.

    • Nicole says:


    • Michael L says:

      Don’t forget the tobacco-stained beard: that’s a common prop at professional photo studios as well. I think you nailed it.

      • Kat says:

        Yeah, the professional photographer had other ideas for this, but they threatened him at gunpoint. “Dang it, Cletus, you WILL take th’ picture thisaway!”

    • mike says:

      that is not a professional lighting job. No professional photographer would put the camera that dang low on a tripod, leave mama out of focus, forget the fill and back lights and let son slouch that much. It’s probably taken near a big picture window. That’s why it’s got the slight cold quality. The camera was white balanced partway between indoor and outdoor lighting.

  32. LuLu says:

    Best Christmas card pic ever!!

  33. Amy says:

    You can have my pipe when you pry it out of my cold, dead lips!

  34. Brenda says:

    I can’t believe the dog doesn’t have a pipe. What gives?

  35. Bryan says:

    Go Piggly Wiggly! (T-Shirt)

  36. Mary McGee says:

    The Piggly Wiggly shirt just makes it a perfect picture!

  37. L.B. says:

    Looks like they have every necessary component for a good old hillbilly time here in my home state of Arkansas!

    Tobacco= check
    Grisly Faces= check
    Huntin’ Dog= check
    Rifles= check

    Let the good times roll!!

    • cc says:

      Also VERY Arkansas, Piggly Wiggly shirt aside, wardrobe by Wal-Mart. From what I can tell about what’s going on with the background artwork (some type of deer, maybe on velvet, and bonus points if it turns out to also be religious in subject). Meanwhile, props to the older guy who also has back-up cigarettes in his shirt pocket. I don’t think I’m out of line by assuming the younger guy is sitting on a can of skoal.

  38. Amanda says:

    I think Mama with the pipe and piggly wiggly shirt tops this moment off perfectly

  39. Phrankeh says:

    What? No pipe for the dog? lol

  40. Andrea says:

    Is that a Piggly Wiggly t-shirt that I see???

  41. Loral says:

    Is it me but the dog looks nervous…

  42. Homibeef says:

    This is why I don’t go to Piggly Wiggly anymore.

  43. KerrIe says:

    Awwwww. The Piggly Wiggly shirt just brings the whole piece together.

  44. TuckerBean says:

    That’s definitely a painting on black velvet in the background… of a stag nonetheless…

  45. Azza says:

    the nailpolish gives her away

  46. Kathy says:

    That’s not awkward; it’s disturbing. On many levels.

  47. Morgan says:

    That doggie made me lol.

  48. shaun says:

    So why doesn’t the dog have a pipe?

  49. Joan says:

    Why doesn’t the dog have a pipe too?????

  50. Burnee says:

    The dog’s whispering “help meeeeee…”

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