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Benjamina Button

“I was born in 1981 but turned 55 in 1992.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have taken the extra fortune cookie from the ’empty’ table.”

“My friend’s son left this ‘love note’ on her pillow.”

“Look, a Father’s Day card from my ten-year-old daughter. Oh wait…”

“I got one child to nap. The other one is stubborn.”

“My girlfriend is the worst impulse shopper. And the happiest.”

“My friend’s son didn’t have the best time at the hay ride.”

“My mother-in-law thinks quivers are overrated.”

“Not only is is the first day of school, it’s the first year with ALL kids in school!”

(submitted by Jeff)

“I didn’t tell my aunt and uncle about that one wave.”