Shred, White, and Blue

May 23rd, 2009

Shred, White, and Blue - *AFP Hall Of Fame*

We couldn’t think of a more awkward way to commemorate Memorial Day weekend.

(submitted by Julia)

206 Responses to “Shred, White, and Blue”

  1. Richard Davies says:

    How many times have I told you to stop testing your sword out on your jeans!

  2. danigirl6 says:

    does he have handcuffs on his belt buckle???

  3. Angela says:

    I seriously also thought that was chain mail under (whats left of) his jeans

  4. Nobody says:

    Tulip says:

    “Its not chainmail…it’s snakeskin.
    Also, i love the LA Gear High Tops…how special.”

    Lest ye not forget the Bugle Boy tee…

    There can be only one mullet.

  5. Bryndi says:

    Oh my goodness this is too great!!

  6. Samantha says:

    This has officially topped “The Closeness of You” for greatest photo ever.

  7. JoMama says:

    Def Leppard Bugle Boy jeans $65
    Kentucky Waterfall mullet $10 @ Cost Cutters
    Vintage cross bow Free (it’s a family heirloom)
    Zubaz pants under jeans $35

    Having this photo go viral so it can mock you for the rest of your life? Priceless

  8. Tim says:


  9. Mr. Noodle says:

    I believe that is chain mail under his jeans.

  10. butsara says:

    to whoever keeps doing this: please don’t stop sending all those amazing compound bow pictures, we haven’t had enough of it already!!!!!

  11. RCB says:

    Cue the Mellencamp music.

  12. Helen says:

    Am I the only person who saw this and thought – Joe Dirt!

  13. eric says:


  14. ms artist says:

    Is he wearing handcuffs as a belt buckle? I doubt that his pants are in any danger of falling off. But someone should put them on him before he slashes his most awesome shoes.

  15. magoo says:

    I had no idea so many people were into compound bows. This lovely girl surely can be proud of hers.

  16. Lucas says:


  17. Tony says:

    “When I grow up I want to be an investment banker and meddle in derivatives.”

  18. binkyta says:

    While the awkwardness of the photo is astounding….I just have to say that the comments are where the true comedic genius comes out. Thanks for the laughs Commentators!

  19. fercheese says:

    LOL the hair

  20. versace says:

    This was a Project Runway project. They could only use a sword to make the outfits. We are looking at the winner here, he called it Fashion Knightmare. Matching pattern on legging and sneakers plus handcuffs-belt: nice touch.

  21. karen says:

    LOOK AT HIS HAIR! WTF nobody mentioned the hair! LOL

  22. Jack London says:

    Are those bugle boy jeans he is wearing?

  23. Alex says:

    i don’t think it could get more patriotic; the cuts in the pants are obviously from battle, which he won, because this is his victory photo.

    this seriously has to be the funniest picture i have ever seen.

  24. Señor_Citizen says:

    All hail Lord Justin, prevailing ruler and fourth chair of the Knights of The Round Table Located in The Snack Bar / Video Game Room of the Local Bowl-O-Drome in Muskegon Michigan!

  25. Sue W says:

    Wow patriot mullet thats a new one

  26. Gareth says:

    I really don’t understand the paying out of this guy. This photo is a masterpiece.

    I, for one, am amazed. That after all this, he had the courage, the stamina and the fortitude to look “too kool for skool” by not smiling. Who goes to this much effort, to ultimately end up looking as if he could “care less” if he were there?

    Some families have portraits of their families with battered faces, from war and social struggle. But this guy, this cool guy, has the ultimate portrait that puts all portraits to shame.

  27. gobalt says:

    I am pretty close to certain that he is in fact a robot, correct me if I am wrong

  28. Raggedy Android says:

    Heck, if you want a series, I know a couple of us who also have senior photos featuring swords…

  29. Annie says:

    I wondered if maybe the flag had been through a lot and that he had it displayed because it had special meaning? Perhaps belonged to a grandfather or something. But any military relative would, well, get all military on the asses of those who let a flag get that way. Eek! Anyway, the pic is all kinds of awesome I almost want to gank it and use it as a userpic for my LJ, lol.

  30. Joe K says:

    That is most obviously not a Knights Templar Saber! It is a crossbow….I didn’t even need to enlarge it to tell you that.

  31. Cindy says:

    Patriotism meets Dungeons and Dragons meets Def Leppard.

  32. Was he in a sword fight before this picture was taken? That would explain the pants.

  33. sam says:

    First his jeans and then the flag, somebody take the sword away from him!

  34. D says:

    He rode his bike to that photo shoot, with the sword. The jeans looked brand new when he left home.

  35. Ross182 says:

    sara, fyi I’ve done the research and it is a compound sword. ps this guy is pretty freakin’ awesome.

  36. katie says:

    what the heck is he wearing under those jeans?

  37. El Kev says:

    I want to know what’s in that box.

  38. Xtina says:

    If he can shred the flag and shred his jeans, just imagine what he could do to ME!

  39. grimey says:

    I thought he was churning butter…but it’s just a compound bow

  40. Demetri says:

    Hi my name is Mike Luger, but you can call me Mike Luger American Ninja.

  41. James says:

    “nobody has figured out they cannot look “cool” years later. The harder you try the more awkward it gets.”

    -Awkward words of wisdom.-

    Well said. lol.

    I think this website is exposing how awkward humanity really is. And it’s embarrassing… but at the same time….strangley comforting and even healing !

  42. Andre B says:

    The inspiration came from “American Ninja” movie series… WHich is also awkward cinema!:)

  43. Vivian Nicholson says:

    This is priceless!

  44. GasMoney says:

    The brand new high-tops suggest that this specimen was known to “keeps it real”.

  45. Greg says:

    Ahhhhh senior pictures…….I remember them well (sigh)

  46. Anna says:

    It took a moment for Hank to get the sword under control.

  47. I Have That says:

    That’s a Knights Templar saber. I have my grandfather’s and my great-grandfather’s. I copied the pic, enlarged and checked – yep…..
    If I could focus in on the blade I could tell you what Masonic Lodge the owner of the saber was affiliated with – normally it is inscribed on the blade, and the opposite side has the owners name.
    Awkward photo – yep – I’ve never seen one used that way, and it’s pretty disgraceful to see the flag torn up like that – art or not!

  48. Chazlette says:

    Is that a Katana you’re holding or are you just happy to see me?

  49. Eyeballs are Sweating says:

    If only we could see before and afters on some of these …to see how they turned out. Too bad nobody has figured out they cannot look “cool” years later. The harder you try the more awkward it gets. Reminded me of that kid in “Role Models” …Augie?

  50. Celeste says:

    Not many people can carry off that look, and neither can he.

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