The Cabbage Patch Diaries

August 23rd, 2009

The Cabbage Patch Diaries - *AFP Hall Of Fame*

We still can’t believe he cheated on her.

(submitted by Verda)

341 Responses to “The Cabbage Patch Diaries”

  1. Deborah says:

    They are happily married now.

  2. hehehe says:

    the truly sad part is that in all of the photos the doll has its binky in. its a travesty that the photographer didn’t include a little more variety.

  3. Ashley says:

    Wow! It’s like the cabbage patch is coming up from behind her in a stealth attack. I can’t stop laughing at this!

  4. linglingo says:


  5. sherry says:

    I actually still have both of my CBK. i have given them over to my daughter who is now 6. I changed both of their names but still remember them. Angela Anita is the girl and her birthday is Sept 1. I believe I got her in 1984 or so. Then there’s Kevin Louis who’s birthday is Nov. 1. We actually celebrated Angela’s birthday this year with a cake. My daughter didn’t want a 25 year old baby, so we agreed that this year, 2009, she would be 3!

  6. Naomi says:

    They could at least taken the pacifier out!

  7. cara says:

    This isjust hilarious – I wish this girl, whoever she is, would post a comment and tell us what was going on that day! LOL was the super impose the photogs idea or hers or her parents?? Just too funny.

  8. Cami says:

    The head looks like a UFO or something

  9. Chase says:

    I want to hang this picture in my home so when i have a bad day I can look at it and laugh.

  10. becky says:

    I love the dramatic one with a black background : )

  11. Anon says:

    This is terrifying. Especially the floating cabbage patch head.

  12. Jen says:

    omg HILARIOUS! I can’t believe her parents let her take professional photos WITH the doll like that!

  13. Jeanine says:

    upper right hand corner….

    “I’m Talking Tina and I’m going to KILL you!”

    Then Telly Savalas throws it in the garage garbage can and piles stuff on the lid!

  14. amber hansen says:

    We just saw who her prom date was.

  15. beaner says:

    Upper right photo = Chuckie Style Creepiness

  16. Heather says:

    Oh em gee. I had that same Cabbage Patch Kid back in the 80s. Mine was named Marshall Barton.

    I also had that same blouse. Or if not the exact same, very, very similar.

    However, having opted for the “bad, overly tight perm” ‘do during those years, I couldn’t ever rock the feathered look.

  17. coldbrew says:

    quite possibly the most disturbing picture i have ever seen

  18. imlovingattention says:

    what if she still has the doll and the shirt and still takes pics with it? ha ha ha ha i can imagine it now…

  19. M e says:

    This almost knocked me off my chair. Yes I have a CPK, my grandma, mom, and me waited in line all day and got my Mildred for $85!

    I don’t think I have anything besides the classic opening present on Christmas picture though. This is so crazy.

  20. Little Raven says:

    This is too cute because it absolutely epitomizes the craze. :)

    I did have a Cabbage Patch Kid. Her name was Blythe Marcelline and I got her when the craze was dying down, so we didn’t pay a stupid amount of money. I also got Ginger, my Wrinkles dog, the same year. Ginger is still with me (and sleeps in my bed when my boyfriend is out of town) but poor Blythe is in a drawer at my dad’s house. I think.

  21. Miranda says:

    OMG is that 4 real? Sandy that has to be u only u would do something like that just to get someone to lol at u. LOL dear god help that kid. “IT’S A DOLL NOT A REAL KID”

  22. Poodle says:

    I picture Bob Ross taking these shots, and talking to the doll like he did his paintings.

  23. Jerry says:

    That one on the top right, where the cabbage patch kid’s face is floating in darkness? I’m gonna have to sleep with the lights on tonight.

  24. Dia says:

    HAHAH this reminds me of a informal family pic i have and i have my cabbage patch kid swaddled and in my lap like it was one of the family

  25. Connie says:

    This would have been okay except the one with the blackness and head floating in the background. That is what brings back Chucky memories.

    The rest is just some girl with her CPK, in which if I were her… I would be mortified that these came back to haunt me. But that one? The blackness? The head? Just too weird. Where was photoshop in the 80s?!?

  26. Emily. says:

    WOW.. that’s just creeeepy.

  27. BeccA's Buzz says:

    Now that’s a good one! Too funny! Man were those cabbage patch kid dolls creepy or what? Especially the photo with just the face hovering in the blackness…creepy! LOL

  28. Turney says:

    The Cabbage Patch hiding in the background is just creepy. It looks like a floating head.

  29. Xina says:

    She looks a bit old for a dollie…even in the midst of the Cabbage Patch craze. But the best for me is the the upper right “phantom” cabbage kid, as if he is both her companion and her spirit guide.

  30. Kelly says:

    I think I just actually bust a gut laughing !!! Mondo bizarro !

  31. diana says:

    the picture at the top right is SCARY.

  32. Lindsay says:

    OMG..the one with the giant CPK head looming in the shadows above the girl’s head..that’s just too hilarious for words! Can you imagine what the photographer was thinking? He was probably saying to himself;”Now I’ve seen it all..”

    • Poodle says:

      Oh, I bet he wanted an award for this masterpiece. The way he superimposed the doll’s head with just enough binky showing. He was probably pretty proud when he offered THAT as the bonus shot.

      • HoneyBrownDame says:

        ROTFL!! i bet the photographer did think he actually did something hot with that creepy pic. Da doll looks like its looming in the shadows waiting to pounce on her at any moment. rotfl

  33. MZ says:

    I almost s*** myself laughing at this. SO FUNNY

  34. Flea says:


  35. Karen says:

    LOL. Hilarious!

  36. Minda says:

    This photo makes my day. Ever since I discovered it on here, I check it out every time I have a bad day, and everything gets all better. It’s a beautiful combination of 80s obsession/nostalgia and good old creepiness and feathered hair. Thank you, unknown girl, for sharing this beautiful part of your past with us!

    • laie says:

      Exactly! The plaid shirt, the feathered bangs, and CBK’s!

      I can’t stop laughing at the top right photo. The faint superimposing of the CBK’s head floating above like it’s watching over her always.

  37. tim says:

    But really……isn’t that actually a female Cabbage patch, hmmm?

  38. Tara says:

    It’s like God is staring over her shoulder – only God is REALLY creepy doll w/ a binky

  39. mixedmedia says:

    Terrifying. Just terrifying.

  40. Krys says:

    I have the exact same child portrait set… only instead of a Cabbage Patch, my family chose the slightly more normal approach and had me sit with my little brother…

  41. Leslie says:

    As if Cabbage Patch Kids weren’t creepy enough….

  42. Mo says:

    I loved CPK’s, but I probably wouldn’t have had my photo taken with them….I would’ve had it taken with my Jem dolls. :)

  43. Michelle says:

    I have photos of my brother and me with that background….GO SEARS!!!

  44. Snoogins says:

    Yeah but the chick in the photos is a lot older than 7…

  45. Danijay says:

    Ok, I was big into CPK along with my cousins. I had the regular dolls, a preemie, and a set of twins. But the only photos I took with my dolls were on Christmas Morning.
    A bit extreme I would say.

  46. Bree says:

    I TOTALLY had pictures taken with my Cabbage Patch Kid, Madelyn Nell (Nellie, for short). But never to this extreme…

  47. Morris says:

    I felt a connection to this collection of photos INSTANTLY because I took very similar pics when I was about 7 years old with my CPK, Agatha!!! Luckily, the photographer didn’t superimpose Agatha above my head or anything creepy like that. But, we were posed sitting on a white faux fur rug with the image of a roaring fireplace behind us (must have been winter?) Gotta love the 1980s, man!

  48. Gemini says:

    Was the Cabbage Patch Kid takeover really that bad? I’ve been browsing the site and I’ve seen more than one of these…

    This gives me a horrible idea for a whole CPK category. c:

    • Gemini says:

      Oh, and I’m a 90′s child. So maybe I just don’t get it. :D

      • elizabeth says:

        my mom paid $40 for my first cabbage patch. i was 10 1985 and here name was delta bernadine….don’t know why i remembered that crap…but she had a baby one and it smelled like baby powder…yes, my mom had one too! wow…

    • Little Raven says:

      I was there… it was like the Beanie Baby craze, except that since all the dolls were supposedly unique, people would tend to get a ‘family’ of them instead of collecting hundreds. There were grown women who treated them like real babies, and there were kids who treated them like status symbols (which I expect is what’s going on in this picture — she just *had* to brag).

  49. lagrange says:

    “will the real cabbage patch kid stand up”

  50. carol says:

    joer que miedo da esta foto, parece de la dimension desconocida (twilight zone)

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