The Hangover

November 23rd, 2009

The Hangover - Babies

It was my 1st birthday and apparently, while my mom brought guests to the door, I licked all the liquor glasses empty. After returning, she saw me falling backwards and passing out. The ambulance medic told her that I had consumed too much alcohol and sat me on the throne. Not too much has changed since then.”

(submitted by Beatrice)

133 Responses to “The Hangover”

  1. Add says:

    It’s funny

  2. Rich says:

    Dear Beatrice,

    You are my dream girl.

    Please come live in my house


  3. Tasha says:

    Best first drunk story ever.

  4. Jeff B. says:

    classic exacmple of the pot calling the kettle blacked out

  5. lily says:

    For all of you crying “Call CPS!” let’s remember that the parents did not GIVE the liquor to the baby, she found it. Stuff like that HAPPENS. No one was being abusive or overly negligen. The parents DID call for medical help and they were told the TRUTH: she’ll sleep it off. It may be handled differently today- but my guess is that a little alcohol topping off a sugar crash and a tired baby after a busy party made the situation look worse than it really was. You can see that a lot of the drinks landed on the baby, not in the baby, and unless she was pouring a bottle of everclear on herself, it’s likely that it was watered down remnants of a drink long gone.

    The picture is funny, the story is funny, and everyone is just fine. Go take your crusade and go out and do something rather than bitch on a humor site. Many of us grew up in the 50’s/60’s/70’s without car seats or purel and we went trick or treating alone, at night, and we played outside- out of parents’ sight for hours after dark until we were too cold and tired and we came home and mom wasn’t wringing her hands fretting over it.

    I remember putting a key in an electrical outlet b/c it looked like a good idea. Never did it again! I also stuck my 5 year old tongue to a pole outside during a cold, Wisconsin winter b/c my brother dared me to! (Guess what movie he had just seen?) My brother broke his arm playing on an old jungle gym (with pavement underneath- none of this sissy wood chip stuff) and I once had to get stitches because I cut my hand doing the dishes when I was, like, 7. And I’m just frickin’ fine now. Stuff happens, even to the most careful and protective parents. Stop making this out to be some sinister and terrible thing.

    • Deb says:

      Amen & well said! I played outside unsupervised from age 4 on up. I had strict instructions about staying in the yard, then only going to the neighbors, then staying on the block but not crossing the street, etc. I rode in the backseat when I was with my mom, the front seat when I was with my dad (& if I played my cards right, I got to sit up on the divider BETWEEN the seats so I cold be right next to my daddy!) I climbed trees, petted strange animals, played in mud, fell down & scraped myself up, had wars with eucalyptus buds or walnuts or snowballs,rode my bike, stayed out until after dark catching fireflies, playing hide and seek & running around like a hooligan. Most adults smoked & drank as a regular thing (and no, they weren’t all alcoholics, it was just the norm for the time) & no great harm ever came of it. Being a kid was FUN! Lighten up peoples & Beatrice, thanks for sharing this awesome picture & story!

      • Cinder63 says:

        LOL. I’ve got a great snapshot of me at about age 2 swilling from a can of Stroh’s — back when you had to punch two holes in the top — no safety tabs.

        Forgot about the cement under the jungle gyms — good times!

    • carol says:

      “sissy wood chip stuff”? My son’s major childhood accidents occurred from the cement pavement underneath the swings, jungle gyms, etc. I’m glad to hear it’s been changed to sissy wood chip stuff!

  6. sadi says:

    Is there some reason none of my posts show up?

  7. Kate says:

    To all of the people who have posted about how this is OMG HORRIBLE, I feel that I should inform you that when people scrutinize how you cared for your kids forty years from now, they will definitely find things that you did horribly wrong in spite of your best intentions. Having alcohol for the grown-ups at a kid’s party was not out of the ordinary a few decades ago even though it might be odd now. Lay off.

    Also, I’m sure Beatrice is SUPER appreciative of the insinuations that her mom was a wholly negligent parent and that this incident should have been turned over to social services. It’s not like her mom was pouring the booze down Baby’s throat. It was just one of those accidental parenting fails everyone experiences and laughs about later.

    Beatrice, it’s hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

    • Bridey says:

      Right on, Kate!

      I’m sure having the family dragged through the social services mill and getting little Beatrice hauled around to strange doctors and perhaps removed from her home while someone investigated this (non) incident would have been just great for a one-year-old.

      “Call in the authorities!” is not the answer to everything in life. It was a harmless accident. Lighten the h*** up.

      Great, funny story, Beatrice!

  8. Amice says:

    So while Baby Bea dried out on the sofa/potty chair, Mom toddled off to fetch the Brownie to capture this moment for posterity. Precious.

  9. Molly says:

    I was born in ’83 and potty trained, I would estimate, sometime in late ’85 or early ’86, and my potty chair had a waist strap. I don’t remember my parents ever using it, but it was there. Doesn’t strike me as that weird.

    Personally, I find the story hilarious. S*** happens, and when everything turns out okay, you’re allowed to laugh at it.

  10. Faith says:

    I love all the “we trained earlier” posts. Both my kids decided they hated diapers at 9 months. About the same time they started to walk.

  11. SG says:

    Kind of redefines “Bottle Baby”

  12. Sammy says:

    Would love to see a pic of poor Bea hunched over the child potty seat while puking into it. “Praying to the plastic gods”. Of course she’s too young to say “I’ll never do this again”.

  13. Gypsy says:

    Classic! Ah, the good old days. I think its hilarious that people are freaking out about a baby licking liquor glasses – unfortunate but not sinister. Compared with a society where kids are fed crap, don’t exercise and have multiple medical problems because of it…

  14. eldi says:

    That was a different time. It was perfectly acceptable & expected of you to smack & beat your kids when they misbehaved in public. Grown-ups would smoke indoors with children present. Cartoons were full of gratuitous violence. Toy guns didn’t have those orange plugs at the end of the barrel, because cops were smart enough to tell the difference between a real gun & a toy. And if you wore a bicycle helmet, you were ostrasized for being a “sissy”.

    ahh, the good ol’ days….

    • butcherbaby says:

      the good old days, when you could expect to go to a grocery store, restaurant, or other public place without having to put up with screaming, spoiled, coddled kids running wild & wreaking havoc, BECAUSE parents weren’t afraid to spank or smack their children when they acted up. god forbid they do that now, because it’s ABUSE! call CPS STAT!
      i can always tell which of my friends kids grew up with “time out” and which got spanked, just by seeing how they act in public.

  15. mary says:

    That is not a potty seat. I have no idea why they pulled the kids pants down though.

    Funny picture. Glad mom had a sense of humor.

  16. Dee says:

    I love the Olden Days before all the Nazi Super Mums started dictating to the rest of the world the Correct Way To Parent.

    Great photo, even greater story. 😀

    • zombie ninja says:

      Agreed. I hate mommy wars.

      I have a 20 month old son and while a lot of folks would call my “crunchy” (I cloth diaper and only have wooden/cloth toys in my house) I’m so not a Nazi mom. I don’t care how you choose to do it as long as you aren’t beating or abusing your child.

      To each their own.

  17. Sheila says:

    Oh, and Beatrice? Since you say that things haven’t changed too much since then, do you have a current pic in this kind of situation to put up side by side?

    (I’m glad you survived your childhood ordeal!)

  18. Sheila says:

    What I don’t understand is, WHY the baby was put on a potty seat? That’s really not going to help when the kid starts puking.

    • Partyhard says:

      Alcohol can loosen the bowels, too, you know. Or maybe you don’t? Come on out! We’ll show you how it’s done!

    • Silverfish says:

      Alcohol does more than just make you puke, Sheila. It does all sorts of unfortunate things, including make your bladder and bowels both loose. I’m sure most of us have all had “that one friend” who has the story about peeing themselves and/or peeing in inappropriate places after getting too drunk, and just the thought of drinking a bunch of liquor is making me want to poop…

  19. Potties did used to have straps for babies. People used to “train” earlier.
    This story is freaking me out. I’m glad Bea made it to adulthood!

  20. Denise says:

    I like how her sleeves and the front of her shirt are all soiled from the liquor. Awkward to admit I find that kind of funny!

  21. Sammy says:

    What would have been funny, is if the people at the party wrote all over her face, like we used to do in college!

  22. wondering says:

    Who puts the potty on the couch?

  23. ma says:

    Carla is on the money. I was born pre-1960 into a world where teething (or just fussing for no apparent reason) babies were given a little whiskey with their milk, potty-training was an all-day affair due to the inconvenience (and shame) of having to change the diapers of a child old enough to walk around and we were dressed (and coiffed) in ways that young parents today would never dream of.

    Ahh… the good old days.

  24. Carla says:

    Ah, you young’uns. This potty is mild for the era…just a belt. Mine had a whole tray a la high chair. Back then you “potty trained” VERY early (the parents were more trained then the kid). You just sat the poor soul there with toys or booze, whatever your preference, until they went. Bam, you called that trained. Don’t even ask if we had a sticker chart!!

  25. Ajax says:

    Reading some of the comments above makes me wonder what people will say about today’s parents. Will feeding the kids a meal from McDonalds or Burger King be looked back on as child abuse, perhaps? Where are we going wrong with the next generation?

    • Rachel says:

      Where are we going wrong with the next generation?

      See: Disney Channel.

      • Julie says:

        WIN! I HATE the Disney channel.

        • Chum says:

          Ajax- I totally agree! Back in Beatrice’s day one year old’s may have licked the cocktail glasses dry, but they weren’t fed fast food on a daily basis leading to lethargy and childhood diabetes. Back in Beatrice’s day kids went outside to skateboard instead of pretending to with a Wii and having the parents call that “exercise”. I think her story is awesome! And I miss the days of old when, according to a lot of these comments, people were unsafe and endangering of their children. Now…return to your regular activity of shoving that 12,000 calorie burger down your kids throat and calling it dinner before sending them off to “workout” with Wii, and call yourself a better parent than Beatrice’s.

          • Amen! says:

            I couldn’t agree more! Parents are so overprotective these days. I’m a fairly young mother (my daughter is 7) and I get the side eye from other parents if I’m not hovering over her at the playground or spraying her down with sanitizer ever 5 seconds.

          • Cinder63 says:

            Yep! Today’s PC police ought to take a good look in the mirror.

  26. susan says:

    Soooo, in the midst of this someone decided it would be a great time for a photo-opt.

  27. ZZ says:

    This is hilarious… ah what our parents did before “child safety” rules. Yes it’s a potty chair what you’re seeing between her legs is the little pee pee guard and not diapers. I love the story behind this. I can remember standing up in the front seat between my parents in the car. That was before seatbelts were mandatory. Amazing we all survived.

  28. Penny says:

    I am torn between horrified and shocked!

    My kids turn one and we have some friends over and we play some goofy games, sing that happy birthday song, have some cake, and open some gifts. I never recall the kids getting drunk. Mind you, those parties were a little boring…

    But seriously, these were different times… I guess. A paramedic comes and chooses to sit the child on the potty (that CAN’T be a potty….it has straps) instead of calling social services?

  29. Dory Dirtbag says:

    I laughed at first and then I felt bad. I laughed again and then I felt worse. My emotions are all over the place with this pic.

  30. Dane says:

    Queen Beatrice (on the throne) enjoying her first baby bender!

  31. Cee says:

    I think this has me laughing so hard because I know it has a happy ending.. after all, Beatrice wouldn’t be around to show us this embarassing photo of herself if the ending wasn’t happy! Love it!

  32. Chadillac says:

    Awesome story – that is too funny!

  33. Deb says:

    Ah, for the days when you could serve alcohol at a children’s party, and when the ambulance came, the diagnoses of a drunk 1-year-old was worth a chuckle and a candid photo instead of a visit from social services…

    • hupla says:

      I couldn’t agree more!

    • Amaris says:

      Me too! These days everything is taken a little too seriously… Sometimes with good reason, but often just because we’re too PC. :/

    • Denise says:

      I agree. My parents made their share of “mistakes” but I’m ok with that. Save CPS for the real nuts out there. Call me gullible, but I believe every bit of the backstory. It’s a little unsettling but not over the top.

      • Elizabeth says:

        What’s not to believe? Granted, our drinks are lighter (wine and beer) but otherwise, this totally could have happened. And yes, I put my toddlers on the potty. And no, they’re not abused. If I had to choose between a wet three-year-old and dry parties, or a dry one-year-old and wet parties, I’d choose the latter, HANDS DOWN. What a great picture.

  34. Diane says:

    Is this inside an ambulance? (Since an ambulance medic was mentioned?)

  35. Baldguy says:

    Thanks, Beatrice, for the classic photo and better tale that goes with it! Liquor was an ever-present part of the 60’s household…

  36. Tim says:


    That is, that….uhhhh….

    Nope. The situation is just too funny by itself!

  37. zeke says:

    Reminds me of my college days!


  38. Faith says:

    Anyone else have alcohol at their kid’s first birthday party? I don’t remember the open bar when my kids turned one.

  39. doggiekittymama says:

    There is a similar picture of my nephew from about 25 years ago. I guess it happens more often than we’d like to think. No one called anyone-he was just a little tipsy, he didn’t pass out. All alcohol was carefully watched forever after. He was 2 and 1/2 I believe.

  40. C says:

    1 is too young for a child to use a potty – maybe 2 or 3?

  41. Jorie says:

    Anyone notice the Pinocchio costume? At first I thought it was something to do with Halloween.

  42. Samer_shu says:

    I don’t think that’s a potty chair! The kid was too drunk to realize she was taking a poo in a car seat.

    • Jen says:

      Nope. This was back when car seats were a mere suggestion. Kids usually just rolled around in the backseat, stood up, or sat on Mom’s lap.

      • doggiekittymama says:

        My forty-four year old brother had a “car seat” but it was a glorified play seat set high enough for the baby to see and be amused. It had a little steering wheel that beeped. Very cute and useless for protection. He sat up front betwwen my parents too. In 1980 my neighbors were in a headon collision. The Mom and Dad and small infant in Mom’s lap were killed. Two small sons in the back survived. So sad. Thank God we got in right now.

  43. Boppie says:

    No, the worst part is that the potty chair is ON THE SOFA!!!!

  44. John III says:

    That is just too hilarious! I like how the potty chair fits ergonomically with the couch!

  45. Kate says:

    Thank God this isn’t a “Then & Now” collage!

  46. MemeGRL says:

    What I love is that someone thought to take a photo! Oh, how we function in crisis.

    • scooper says:

      hahaha, i love it! I can just imagine…

      MOM- “Oh my goodness, whats wrong baby??”
      BABY- “gurgle gurgle cough gurgle hiccup”
      DAD-“HONEY!! Wheres the camera?!”

  47. No comment says:

    Yes it’s disturbing that baby drank until she passed out. But more disturbing are the straps on the potty chair. Did people REALLY tie their kids down to get them to use the toilet?

    • Christie says:

      The strap is to put around the child’s waist, and it’s not a potty chair.

      • Sheila says:

        Ummmm…then what, exactly, is this?

        • No comment says:

          It is a potty chair. First off, that’s what the person who sent the picture in described it as. Second, it has the little flap up in between the legs to keep little boys from spraying the bathroom.

          Guess this was before the days of pull ups.

          And don’t fret Beatrice, although there’s no photographic evidence (your mom must really love you) I did a very similar thing once when I was one-ish. Come on, it was the 70’s!

        • Peggy says:

          It’s a seat for newborns that helps them sit up before they’re able to on their own.

        • Brittany says:

          Of course it’s a chair, not a potty! What one-year-old is potty trained anyway?

    • Melissa says:

      Yes, that and if the baby passed out like the description said, why are the pants down around the ankles? It looks like the baby is wearing a diaper, and I’m pretty sure when your passed out, your not going to tell mom you gotta poop lmao!!!!

    • Allison says:

      I agree! I don’t think the story is funny AT ALL! It almost sounds made up, doesn’t it? A one year old that drank themselves to passing out. NOT COOL. And then they said that their life hasn’t changed much since then I find completely disturbing. I thought the picture would be best without the story.

      • Kristin says:

        The story says she licked the empty liquor glasses when her mom was showing the (adult) guests the door – a lot of liquor is sweet and colorful. I doubt many 1 year olds would ignore the opportunity to taste if they were alone. It’s not like she was downing martinis, and it probably didn’t take more than a few ounces to wear her out.

      • butcherbaby says:

        “And then they said that their life hasn’t changed much since then I find completely disturbing.”

        i believe this is what you call “a joke”, but i hear you have to have “a sense of humour” to appreciate it it.

        i highly doubt beatrice has spent all the decades between this photo and now drinking the watered down remainders of cocktails and passing out on the potty seat.

        • Bekki says:

          “i highly doubt beatrice has spent all the decades between this photo and now drinking the watered down remainders of cocktails and passing out on the potty seat.”

          Total epic win.

    • wow says:

      lighten up! babies don’t know better. mom didn’t think to put it up for a brief moment while showing the guests out. just a funny story. seriously, chill out guys!

  48. ivelostmyself says:

    i cant breath! i cant stop laughing! how horrid and hilarious all at the same time!

  49. Dancingmom says:

    Agreed. In this rare case, the background story should have remained a mystery.

  50. Jennifer says:

    At first I thought “how cute!” and then I read the background.

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