I wonder if this woman actually had a scale to weigh all the dishes with specific weights. Why does it matter whether the green beans weight four pounds and asparagus five pounds? Is someone going to say, “I’m sorry but that casserole of green beans is just a tad over four pounds. I don’t think I can eat it.”
I’m just glad someone finally caled Lisa out on being such a sponge for all these years. Trust Marney to deal with the elephant in the room so diplomatically.
I think I’d definitely bring five pounds of whole potatoes in a non-regulation casserole, and prosciutto pinwheels with my own twist on the recipe, just to make it fun.
I would write her back and tell her that she forgot to include instructions on how we were all to dress and a script of everything we were all required / permitted to say at dinner.
so i decided to look up this regulation size casserole. Considering i had never heard of one and being an avid watcher of the food network had never heard it mentioned before. Come to find out, i couldnt find a damn thing! Marney if you expect people to bring things in a regulation size casserole at least give us the dimensions!
Unfortunately, Mike’s mother is not in a good way, so we’re going to head out to Pennsylvania to spend the holiday with her and Mike’s sisters. It might be the last time they’re all together, I’m sure you understand. Plus they love turnips, so….
Regards, your sister Linda
***********
Aunt Marney,
Sorry, but Bob is so sick this year and we’re afraid it might be that swine flu, so we’re just going to order in. But you guys have fun!
Love,
Melissa
************
Mimi,
David’s family has decided to have Thanksgiving in Jamaica! Can you believe that? Well, really it’s a cruise, but anyway they’ve invited me and David and we haven’t been on a cruise since our honeymoon, but we LOVED IT, so since they’re being gracious enough to pick up the tab, how can we refuse? LOL! No one would want any appetizer I bring anyway. I’ll send pics of the trip!
Love,
Lisa
*************
Marney,
Seriously. As I’ve told you EVERY YEAR SINCE 1993, WE ARE NOT COMING. Things have been so much better since we just decided to go to Remington’s on Thanksgiving. Honestly, too much stress and you know Hal can’t take that with his heart. Please take us out of the letter next year. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Michelle
********
Mom—sigh. You know Jim was laid off two months ago. So yeah, I’m not too terribly worried about the blue casserole dish or your favorite wine. We’ll be there, I guess, but honestly, I’m just going to bring what I bring. Remember what the counselor told you about letting go? June
***********
HEY MARN! IT’S YOUR OLD BROTHER HERE! WHOOOOOO! GOTDAMN I JUST GOT BAC FROM CABO AND IT WAS AMAAZING JUST AMAZIING YOU HAVE TO GO SOMETHING. SOMETIMES. SOM
GOD! OK SO BRING WINT? WINE? BRING BINE! I GOT IT ONT OP OF IT! I BRING INT LOTS OF WINEEEEE
Isn’t thanksgiving a time to be THANKFUL? If we wanted a national nagging hag day we’d celebrate it every last Thursday of November. I hope those turnips made a huge mess.
Kara, you gotta tell us how things went? Did anyone lose it on Marney. Is she medicated yet? Did she lighten up this year? Please tell me someone sabatoged by not putting things in regulation size casserole dishes. I’m really hoping everyone filled up on Lisa’s appetizers and had no room for Marneys turkey. This would be funny
Like many others, I wanna know why HJB is getting off so easy by just having to bring wine? For cripe’s sakes, Marn didn’t even tell him/her what kind of wine to bring. wth? How biased. Totally not fair and discriminatory. Also, why is it that the Lisa Byron Chesterford family cannot bring cocktail sauce? What’s wrong with it?
I would really be tempted to bring Krystals and Corn Pups to the dinner. haha. Either that or just not go. Way too much pressure and tension for this Southern girl.
Cocktail sauce (and all the other dips and sauces Marney put the cosh on) STAINS, which suggests that by the end of the dinner, the whole gang ends up flinging the stuff at her like monkeys throwing their poo–and serves her right, too.
This is amazing!! my favorite line has to be in the section to the June Davis Family…
put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids..
regulation size casserole….LMAO
this woman has some serious issues, I hope everyone boycotted the dinner.
I am DYING to know how this gathering went … please let us know. A hidden camera video of this gathering would be awesome. This letter makes me SO GRATEFUL for the family I married into!!
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afp
20lbs more like it
I wonder if this woman actually had a scale to weigh all the dishes with specific weights. Why does it matter whether the green beans weight four pounds and asparagus five pounds? Is someone going to say, “I’m sorry but that casserole of green beans is just a tad over four pounds. I don’t think I can eat it.”
I’m just glad someone finally caled Lisa out on being such a sponge for all these years. Trust Marney to deal with the elephant in the room so diplomatically.
I think I’d definitely bring five pounds of whole potatoes in a non-regulation casserole, and prosciutto pinwheels with my own twist on the recipe, just to make it fun.
I would write her back and tell her that she forgot to include instructions on how we were all to dress and a script of everything we were all required / permitted to say at dinner.
“Regulation size casserole”?! And why would you ask for turnips if most people hate them?! Seriously?!
May as well be turnips, it’d be a shame to waste delicious food when everyone’s going to be having such a rotten time anyway.
“I don’t know why I even bother…” LMAO
Why does she try to control everyone?…
so i decided to look up this regulation size casserole. Considering i had never heard of one and being an avid watcher of the food network had never heard it mentioned before. Come to find out, i couldnt find a damn thing! Marney if you expect people to bring things in a regulation size casserole at least give us the dimensions!
MARNEY’S INBOX:
Marney,
Unfortunately, Mike’s mother is not in a good way, so we’re going to head out to Pennsylvania to spend the holiday with her and Mike’s sisters. It might be the last time they’re all together, I’m sure you understand. Plus they love turnips, so….
Regards, your sister Linda
***********
Aunt Marney,
Sorry, but Bob is so sick this year and we’re afraid it might be that swine flu, so we’re just going to order in. But you guys have fun!
Love,
Melissa
************
Mimi,
David’s family has decided to have Thanksgiving in Jamaica! Can you believe that? Well, really it’s a cruise, but anyway they’ve invited me and David and we haven’t been on a cruise since our honeymoon, but we LOVED IT, so since they’re being gracious enough to pick up the tab, how can we refuse? LOL! No one would want any appetizer I bring anyway. I’ll send pics of the trip!
Love,
Lisa
*************
Marney,
Seriously. As I’ve told you EVERY YEAR SINCE 1993, WE ARE NOT COMING. Things have been so much better since we just decided to go to Remington’s on Thanksgiving. Honestly, too much stress and you know Hal can’t take that with his heart. Please take us out of the letter next year. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Michelle
********
Mom—sigh. You know Jim was laid off two months ago. So yeah, I’m not too terribly worried about the blue casserole dish or your favorite wine. We’ll be there, I guess, but honestly, I’m just going to bring what I bring. Remember what the counselor told you about letting go? June
***********
HEY MARN! IT’S YOUR OLD BROTHER HERE! WHOOOOOO! GOTDAMN I JUST GOT BAC FROM CABO AND IT WAS AMAAZING JUST AMAZIING YOU HAVE TO GO SOMETHING. SOMETIMES. SOM
GOD! OK SO BRING WINT? WINE? BRING BINE! I GOT IT ONT OP OF IT! I BRING INT LOTS OF WINEEEEE
HARRY
this is fantastic! kudos, dear writer, for coming up with the “reply”. i love it!!!
oooo
I would show up with a CAN of cranberries(plain jelled) unopened , a soup spoon, tupperware container with no lid and lots and lots of aluminum foil.
hee!
It’s not possible that Marney still has a spouse…it it?
How come no one was asked to bring cross… I mean compound bows for the family picture???
Good question. Perhaps they photoshopped them in later.
So, what happened this year? I am curious to find out what happened after this was sent out.
I hope the entire family brought mac and cheese.
This is crazy. I would have brought a cat food jello mold.
This comment made me snort. Fancy Feast…
Isn’t thanksgiving a time to be THANKFUL? If we wanted a national nagging hag day we’d celebrate it every last Thursday of November. I hope those turnips made a huge mess.
I would have gone to this party and drastically not followed my directions. People this controlling beg to be messed with.
Kara, you gotta tell us how things went? Did anyone lose it on Marney. Is she medicated yet? Did she lighten up this year? Please tell me someone sabatoged by not putting things in regulation size casserole dishes. I’m really hoping everyone filled up on Lisa’s appetizers and had no room for Marneys turkey. This would be funny
Has anyone punched this $*%@% in the )#$& yet?
O. M. G…
I’d show up with a Marie Callender’s turkey dinner and one of their pies.
“Regulation size caserole dish” as listed in the NTA’s (national thanksgiving association) rule book and guidelines
This may be the single greatest thing the internet has ever given me.
Like many others, I wanna know why HJB is getting off so easy by just having to bring wine? For cripe’s sakes, Marn didn’t even tell him/her what kind of wine to bring. wth? How biased. Totally not fair and discriminatory. Also, why is it that the Lisa Byron Chesterford family cannot bring cocktail sauce? What’s wrong with it?
I would really be tempted to bring Krystals and Corn Pups to the dinner. haha. Either that or just not go. Way too much pressure and tension for this Southern girl.
Cocktail sauce (and all the other dips and sauces Marney put the cosh on) STAINS, which suggests that by the end of the dinner, the whole gang ends up flinging the stuff at her like monkeys throwing their poo–and serves her right, too.
This is exactly what the Natives wrote to the Pilgrims before that first Thanksgiving.
“This is exactly what the Natives wrote to the Pilgrims before that first Thanksgiving.”
LM*AO
Win =)
You’re my hero, Marney!
that lady is ridiculous! I would never go to that thanksgiving party… ever.
Has it been a year already?! Thanks for re-posting this classic.
Where is the regulation on casserole dishes?
This is the best thing on the entire internet.
true, that.
I think Amy Misto has the right idea.. I wound’t read that letter either!
“Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time…”
Yeah, right. In your dreams, maybe.
A letter like this would bring out my most demon-like behavior…..
This is amazing!! my favorite line has to be in the section to the June Davis Family…
put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids..
regulation size casserole….LMAO
this woman has some serious issues, I hope everyone boycotted the dinner.
My heart still goes out to newly married Lisa. Thanksgiving is now complete!
I printed this out for my family and read it to them this Thanksgiving! I love that you posted it again. This is one of our favorites xD
Ha! We did too!
Seriously, this is just so classic.
I hope every single family member screwed up their assignments on purpose!
still hysterically funny, no matter how many times i read it!!
I cannot believe the nerve of this person. I assume she ends up spending the holidays alone.
What’s a regulation size casserole? Just curious.
I am DYING to know how this gathering went … please let us know. A hidden camera video of this gathering would be awesome. This letter makes me SO GRATEFUL for the family I married into!!
They probably all sat around the dining room table like robots while Marney talked about the next year’s happy festivities.
15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon!!?? 15 LBS?! That’s a lot of peeling, etc. Marney is unbelievable… and infamous by now.
Being from a proper southern family……a generous dish of head cheese seems in order…
I think if I received that email, I would turn up with Drive-Thru McDonalds.
Makes me wish we celebrated Thanksgiving. Almost.
I would never, ever, ever goto that Thanksgiving… OMG!
Control freak!