When Mom, Beth Woolsey, the author of Five Kids Is A Lot Of Kids asked her twin boys to guest post a blog by picking an important topic, this is what they came back with…
“That time my mother thought it would be a great idea to take us to Madam Tussaud’s to meet her new eight foot slash lookalike boyfriend for the first time.”
(submitted by Roxzann in the UK)
“My dad was a judge for many years. This was taken at his first inauguration. I was not in the mood for yet another picture and REALLY had to pee. The look on my mom’s face says it all. Through clenched teeth she was probably saying something like, ‘Get your GD hands out of your privates!’”
(submitted by Virginia)
“My mom thought it would be a good idea to cut my hair like hers, get me an outfit like hers, and get our picture taken in front of a field. I didn’t.”
(submitted by Kerrie)
Like many exhausted new moms, Ava Neyer read stacks of books about baby sleep. But nothing seemed to work for her twins, now 5 months, one a night owl and one an early bird. Every new expert offered a different solution — and what’s worse, they all seemed to contradict each other. So, here’s what she wrote:
I went on amazon and bought all the top books on baby sleep and development. I read through them all, as well as several blogs and sleep websites. I gathered lots of advice.
You shouldn’t sleep train at all, before a year, before 6 months, or before 4 months, but if you wait too late, your baby will never be able to sleep without you. College-aged children never need to be nursed, rocked, helped to sleep, so don’t worry about any bad habits. Nursing, rocking, singing, swaddling, etc to sleep are all bad habits and should be stopped immediately. White noise will help them fall asleep. White noise, heartbeart sounds, etc, don’t work. Naps should only be taken in the bed, never in a swing, carseat, stroller, or when worn. Letting them sleep in the carseat or swing will damage their skulls. If your baby has trouble falling asleep in the bed, put them in a swing, carseat, stroller, or wear them.
Put the baby in a nursery, bed in your room, in your bed. Cosleeping is the best way to get sleep, except that it can kill your baby, so never, ever do it. If your baby doesn’t die, you will need to bedshare until college.
Use the same cues as night: cut lights, keep the house quiet and still. Differentiate naps from nightly sleep by leaving the lights on and making a regular amount of noise. Keep the room warm, but not too warm. Swaddle the baby tightly, but not too tightly. Put them on their back to sleep, but don’t let them be on their backs too long or they will be developmentally delayed. Give them a pacifier to reduce SIDS. Be careful about pacifiers because they can cause nursing problems and stop your baby from sleeping soundly. If your baby sleeps too soundly, they’ll die of SIDS.
Don’t let your baby sleep too long, except when they’ve been napping too much, then you should wake them. Never wake a sleeping baby. Any baby problem can be solved by putting them to bed earlier, even if they are waking up too early. If your baby wakes up too early, put them to bed later or cut out a nap. Don’t let them nap after 5 pm. Sleep begets sleep, so try to get your child to sleep as much as possible. Put the baby to bed awake but drowsy. Don’t wake the baby if it fell asleep while nursing.
You should start a routine and keep track of everything. Not just when they sleep and how long, but how long it has been between sleep, how many naps they’ve had per day, and what you were doing before they slept. Have a set time per day that you put them to bed. Don’t watch the clock. Put them on a schedule. Scheduling will make your life impossible because they will constantly be thrown off of it and you will become a prisoner in your home.
Using CIO will make them think they’ve been abandoned and will be eaten by a lion shortly. It also causes brain damage. Not getting enough sleep will cause behavior and mental problems, so be sure to put them to sleep by any means necessary, especially CIO, which is the most effective form. Extinction CIO is cruel beyond belief and the only thing that truly works because parents are a distraction. The Sleep Lady Shuffle and Ferber method are really CIO in disguise or Controlled Crying and so much better than Extinction. All three of these will prevent your child from ever bonding with you in a healthy way. Bedsharing and gentler forms of settling will cause your child to become too dependent on you.
Topping the baby off before bed will help prevent night wakings. When babies wake at night, it isn’t because they are hungry. If the baby wants to nurse to sleep, press on the baby’s chin to close its mouth. Don’t stop the baby from nursing when asleep because that doesn’t cause a bad habit. Be wary of night feeds. If you respond too quickly with food or comfort, your baby is manipulating you. Babies can’t manipulate. Babies older than six months can manipulate.
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean when the baby cleans. Don’t worry. Stress causes your baby stress and a stressed baby won’t sleep.
Susan Copich, actress and a mother of two from New York, has taken a darkly humorous approach towards traditional family photography with a series of daring images entitled “Domestic Bliss.”
Copich spent years taking pictures of her family, but when she reached her mid-forties, she realized that she was missing from almost every photo. That’s when she decided to take things into her own hands, creating photos that would reflect all of her feelings – even the ambiguous or negative ones.
“This photo was unearthed recently from a photo album, that had remained unseen for the past 20 years. No one in the family has any recollection of when and where this photo was taken, including my mother, the person gutting the fish. In fact, up until recently seeing this photo, she would have told you she had never gutted a fish. She also asks: “Why am i wearing sunglasses? And that bandanna?” This would be an amazing photo in itself, without the absurd addition of the mystery hands (no one knows who’s hands these are!), giving the sink a good plunge. As you do, when the person next to you is feverishly gutting a fish!”
(submitted by Madeline in Canada)