Random Archives

Who Let The Dogs Out?

“My girlfriend’s aunt is a high school principle, and she just sent her this excuse note a parent sent in.”

“I recently used the Washio laundry app and my wife and I were both happy with the speed of the service. The way it works– one of their “ninjas” (their word, not mine) comes to you house, picks up your launrdy, and then drops off next day or so. Well, when we got our clean launrdy and my wife was unpacking it, she found a mysterious pair of panties– a g-string to be exact. Now, fortunately, I have a very secure marriage, but you can imagine the dilemma this could cause for a married man. A pair of panties finds its way into the laundry… the man blames Washio and the wife is thinking, “Sure. Washio.” But, in this case, it was in fact Washio. We have two kids, we’re both exhausted, and the thought of having an affair just makes me more tired. So I contacted Washio and explained the situation…. their response was very professional, but still, cracked me up. This was the text: “Hi Mike, I sincerely apologize for the mixup. Washio does not mix orders during washing, however it sounds as if there was an unintentional addition on the folding table. We can send a Ninja to retrieve the panties at your earliest convenience. Again, with the ‘ninjas.’ I’ve included a photo of the panties.”

(submitted by Mike)

Name That Clown

He wanted a name that wasn’t already taken.

(via source)

Dear Stefanie

The letter you send when you want her to break up with you.

(submitted by Chris)

Bike Ride

“My daughter’s grade 1 essay. I’m assuming she meant bike….”

(submitted by Roger)

Which Creepy Easter Bunny Are You?

Lady With an Ermine

“I don’t know if this image quite qualifies for the site, as it is a masterpiece that I managed to defile in photoshop, but it IS awkward. And my dog counts as family… It came about when I looked at my dachshund-mix, Wesser, and thought- with love- “sometimes that boy looks like a weasel”. With that, DaVinci’s “Lady with an Ermine” immediately popped into my head and a scheme was born. The best part is, family and friends not only applauded my mangling of the masterwork, but are now requesting their own! Which, I think, speaks volumes to the familial awkwardness from which this sprang.”

(submitted by Holly)