Faceoff #2

October 1st, 2009

Faceoff #2 - Family Portrait

Susan would have had no idea there was any tension if it wasn’t for the burning sensation on either side of her head.

(submitted by Susan)

187 Responses to “Faceoff #2”

  1. hcw80 says:

    This reminds me of a parent-teacher conference I had a few years ago. Very pompous and pretentious parents came in to discuss their offsprings progress, which, of course, had to be far above average.

    I pulled out the child’s latest writing sample. There was in little first grade handwriting the words: “At Thanksgiving, Mom, Dad and Grandma had a big fight.” The cherry on top was the illustration that had a red-faced dad with a speech bubble that said, “Shut up you old bat!” and mom was crying over the turkey. If if was possible to sink any lower in those kiddie size seats, they would have. Classic win or Epic Fail. Just depends which side of the table you are on.

  2. hcw80 says:

    Please note, the first rule of keeping mommy happy when Nana comes to visit: As long as there are olives, the martini glass should be full. I see plenty of olives and no martini in the glass.

    Holidays, Extended Family and Liquor….the stuff dreams are made of.

  3. Maya B says:

    Honestly…did that style of glasses frames ever make ANYONE look happy?

    • R. Desha says:

      Yes, “cat eye” glasses were the height of fashion in the 50s and 60s. What’s sad is all the women who continued to wear them long after fashion and styles changed. It really made them look out of touch. Lisa Loeb wears similar glasses as part of her retro look …and she definitely looks happy …and sexy!

  4. Susan says:

    Let this serve as a reminder that the holidays are coming upon us faster than we expect, and Marney is getting to write her annual letter.

  5. sleepygal says:

    I think Grandma is the model for Maxine – the greeting card lady who always loves to greet Christmas carolers…..”with a bucket of water”

  6. Mari says:

    Heaven forbid anyone shows a little cleavage in this family!

  7. eve says:

    Look again–she knows.

  8. Don says:

    Susan was confused. Words like “pessimist’ and “optimist” were being thrown back and forth between Mommy and Grandma as they debated the glass of water on the table. What did she care? It was clear, until this was resolved, no one was going to pass her the olives.

  9. Mary says:

    This reminds me of the Christmas my sister’s mother in law showed up with a very ornate molded jello she spent hours making. My sister was attempting to get it out of the mold so she let it sit in some warm water first. When she turned it over onto the plate the whole thing fell out into the sink and went right down the drain. We have a picture somewhere of the two of them sitting next to eachother at dinner. It looks just like this! Their relationship never recovered from that jello incident. I think it’s what led to my sister finally getting a divorce! LOL

  10. carol says:

    This is priceless! I love it! My mother and grandmother often sent dirty looks over me when they were angry, while I tried to appear oblivious. That little girl knows what’s going on and is not letting it bother her!
    Grandma looks like she’s going to choke from having her zipper up so high around her neck.

  11. Meredith says:

    Those aren’t tennis balls. They’re those old shiny satin thread ornaments, but the light is reflecting off them so they look like they have white stripes.

    That said, it looks like mom is strongly considering mixing herself another martini.

  12. ballfour says:

    Is there any wonder why the mom’s martini glass is sucked dry. You would be upset too if you were accused of bringing a non-regulation caserole dish when you knew darn good and well it IS regulation size!

    • dono1 says:

      Not only sucked dry, but she picks the olives out and I count six in the dish already. The glaring looks are only Round One. Round Two involves hurling ornaments and torn denim.

  13. Who won the duel? Did they use swords or pistols? Was the little girl the “second” for the mom or the grandmom?

  14. Marie says:

    No, see, it’s Village of the Damned, and the little girl is killing anyone who dares to annoy her.

    Granny: Evelyn, I really think she should be spanked. I mean it’s just wrong to go around killing people. You just don’t discipline her enough! I spanked Johnny when he was naughty and just look at him today! Assistant Manager at the feed store! Spare the rod and spoil the child!

    Daughter-in-law, Evelyn: Well, Dr. Spock says that spanking is violent and that non-physical means of discipline are more effective and don’t hurt the child’s psyche.

    Granny: Oh, pooh! She’s killing people for Pete’s sake! That’s not violent??!!

  15. R. Desha says:

    A slice of Americana, circa 1972. Beulah, born in 1910, is 62 years old now and is very much “old school conservative” in her thinking and lifestyle. She doesn’t understand the new liberal ideas and still hasn’t gotten over what she likes to call “the insanity of the 1960’s.”

    Beulah’s daughter, Barbara, is 32 years old and is sick and tired of her mother’s judgmental attitude and guilt trips. Unlike her mother, Barbara doesn’t use the Great Depression as a frame of reference for every aspect of life. She longs for the 1960’s, when she and Doug still lived on their mushroom farm in Southern Utah. In response to her mother’s constant criticism of “the manner in which she’s raising Susan,” Barbara let’s her daughter do whatever she wants when Beulah is around.

    Susan was born in 1964 and loves it when grandma Beulah visits. She does miss her daddy though. He has to work late every night when grandma is in town.

  16. Snowrider says:

    You all have it wrong. Respectfully, the little girl is ACTUALLY MARNIE at age 7. The picture was taken in 1972. That makes her now a VERY neurotic age 44. She got that way after witnessing decades of angst between her Mom and Grandma. Notice the neutral, far-away look on her face? “Years from now I’ll make them all pay. The entire family. I’ve got time on my side! MUUUUH HA HA HA!”

  17. zanie says:

    I bet the mother would be appalled to realize that she looks exactly like the grandmother here.

  18. David says:

    They must be arguing over whether or not the hacky-sack centerpiece works well in the room.

  19. Chadillac says:

    Is that Marney?

  20. MST says:

    Mere seconds after this photo was taken, the poor little girl burst into flames for being too close to the heat. …and all because Mom refused to finish her potatoes.

  21. Fleabitten says:

    Festivus for the rest of us.

  22. ann o. nymous says:

    Is there a white bowl filled with red tennis balls on the table?

    • Melissa says:

      lm*o! I was wondering that those were myself :)

    • princessluceval says:

      I think it’s red satin thread Christmas tree ornaments being used as a centerpiece. And mistletoe, too. Everyone lean in for a kiss! Then again, maybe not.

      • Nichol says:

        It is! It’s those horrible thread ornaments that frizz and unravel over time, leaving bare, separated spots, like someone sliced away a neat segment of the ornament rind to reveal the ornament fruit. But one shouldn’t let one’s seething ornament rage cast a dark cloud over the rest of the holiday. “Next year, I’LL bring the centerpiece.”

  23. princessluceval says:

    Mom is really annoyed that Gramma is rocking the denim zip up shirt. And the little girl from Poltergeist hovers in the middle. “They’re he-e-e-re!”

    Gramma:”Glenda, why don’t you get into the seventies, and get rid of the spit curl?”

    Glenda: “Oh, ma, you have no room to talk. Cat eye glasses and denim polyester do NOT go together.”

    Little girl: “Cheese?”

  24. That little kid reminds me of me sometimes, totally oblivious.

  25. Rean says:

    Days of Future Past

  26. Amice says:

    Clearly disproving the old “Whoever smelt it, dealt it” adage.

  27. Ray! says:

    I think they’re annoyed with one another because they didn’t call the night before to discuss what they were going to wear. Why is everyone wearing the same color dress?

  28. Mel says:

    was are those red balls on the table?? I guess it’s supposed to be some sort of christmas decor

  29. Joan says:

    I hear that stretch denim is coming back. I think that is a Mother in-law / Daughter in-law relationship. I have seen it. I have felt it. I have known it. I think the daughter in-law is upset because Mother in-law took two of the red tennis balls out of the centerpiece for her ears.

  30. Tim says:

    The piercing gazes from Aunt Marcy and Mama Lisa were too much.

    Right after this picture was taken….Susan’s head exploded.

  31. Susan says:

    I’m the submitter (really!) Mom had gotten her hair done and Grandma didn’t like how it looked. I think it’s gorgeous.

  32. Boo says:

    That totally is Marney…

  33. dsto says:

    That was the last time mother and grandmother secretly shared mutual disdain for the other with little Susan “Tattle Tale” Johnson.

  34. julie says:

    Did anybody else spend a few minutes trying to figure out why centerpiece was a bowl full of red tennis balls and holly?

    • Jamie says:

      That is actually 1970′s decor…. those are styrofoam balls that had fabric pressed into them to make decorative holiday patterns. Apparently Marny did not LEAD the class and they ended up looking like tennis balls. (I have a whole cookie container of those things!)

  35. Rick says:

    This looks and feels like every family event I ever attended. Hence, I don’t do family events anymore! For those of you have don’t have totally dysfunctional families, enjoy the ambiance …

  36. MCR says:

    “Mommy? Grandma? What word rhymes with ‘Witch’?”

  37. Laura says:

    Who uses a bowl full of red tennis balls as a centerpiece?

  38. Zack says:

    G’ma didn’t approve of the tennis ball/holly center piece………..

  39. Skip says:

    I predict years of therapy for the young girl (although, I think the adults could benefit from some as well!)

  40. SG says:

    I’m guessing mother-in-law who resents daughter-in-law for taking her little boy from her and now he HAS to stay because they’ve created this little THING sitting between them. You know a mother is a boy’s best friend, and Norman won’t be able to take over the family hotel business.

  41. Nat says:

    Uh oh – someone dared to defy Marnie and brought the wrong spoon!

  42. Julie says:

    Why are tennis balls the center piece? WT*?! AT least grandma’s earrings match!

  43. Sweet denim jumper on MeeMaw Marney as well. I think the other lady was JEAL-OUS!

  44. Sata says:

    Oh my god, that is such a remarquable family picture. It tells so much about the mother/daughter relationship in one look, mostly thanks to the one little girl in the middle.
    We’ve been there

  45. chick binewski says:

    Button up, it’s chilly in here.

  46. Jamie says:

    Photographic evidence of Marney! The young woman HAS to be *the* Lisa Chesterford! I mean she WAS told to bring vegies and dip… NOT OLIVES! And that illegitimate baby was a TOTAL suprise.


  47. Canoncowgirl says:

    The battle for the posession of the red orbs had begun.

  48. Melissa says:

    The woman on the right looks like she is about ready to B slap grandma if it weren’t for the little girl in the way. Who says you gotta respect your elders, even if they do have glasses-I wonder what started it all anyway……..”damn it Marg, I’ve told you a thousand times, the wine glasses go on the right!”

  49. Laughingontheoutside says:

    This could be a picture from my family album, my mother and grandmother were always like this.

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