The Protector

November 9th, 2010

The Protector - *AFP Hall Of Fame*

You should see this father when a telemarketer calls after 6.

(submitted by Jairus)

267 Responses to “The Protector”

  1. Norm says:

    I’m figuring this isn’t a posed shot, but the last thing an unfortunate nature photographer saw …after stumbling upon this feral family.

  2. Caivan says:

    mullet man’s home production of “the shining”

  3. Chad says:

    He needs to zip his fly.

  4. parrothead says:

    Is that a wolf on his crouch or a fox? And how do you keep a straight face?

  5. Lidda says:

    I don’t even know where to start. The kilt? The furry animal hanging from his crotch? The damsel in distress? I could do my Master’s Thesis on this one picture.

  6. ScoutC says:

    The dead animal tucked in crotch says it all. Never seen a sporrin quite like that.

  7. Is it just me, or did anyone else get the impression that Mom and Baby are scared OF him, not of whatever he’s threatening (besides the camera)?

  8. Sara says:

    Is he squeezing a skeletal pelvis between his legs? How odd!

  9. Nancy says:

    Did the photographer really think this would make a great picture?!? It looks intimidating.

  10. jlouise says:

    Is that a fox between your legs or are you just happy to see me?

  11. Noneya says:

    The problem with fantasies is they aren’t ever nearly as good in reality as they are in your head.

  12. MikeHunt says:

    Is that a fox in his belt or is his zipper down?

  13. Hannah says:

    What… dare i ask it? …what is between his legs?

  14. Steve says:

    Okay, so it’s the second Ren faire-inspired photo of the week… and people wonder why I don’t have pictures of myself in garb.

  15. João says:

    those pants are simply unbelievable…

  16. Eatthepeach says:

    There is no need to bring a knife.

  17. Eatthepeach says:

    Our People…Once Were Warriors. In kilts, wearing roadkill as a sporran. It’s a proud heritage. Both Mom and Dad are very photogenic though, as insane as this picture is.

  18. Kit says:

    Of course that’s a fake battleaxe he’s holding, the real one is standing behind him holding the child.

  19. TelltheTruth says:

    I’m confused, will someone please explain what is between his legs? If hes wearing a kilt then is this a Scottish fanny pack?

    • schoolnurse says:

      More correctly would be “crotch pack”. The Scottish word is sporran, but you’re thinking in the right direction!

      • anns says:

        Thank you, Schoolnurse. Knowing that the fox is an animal mask sporran helped me recover from the shock of seeing this truly awkward pic!

  20. Jak says:

    Betcha they drag this out in 14yrs to show baby’s prom date!

  21. IanK says:

    Is that man wearing a kilt with a wolf head sporran?

  22. Rosieposie says:

    WHAT the heck? is that a dead fox between his legs?

  23. Michelle says:

    Nevermind that it looks like he is riding on a fox. Just odd!

  24. TR says:

    Just LOVE how the mother and child are clinging to each other in terror.

  25. Lily says:

    Should I be afraid of the guy with the ax, or the furry thing between his legs?

  26. steph says:

    With the get up he has on, I’m surprised they have a baby.

  27. Woodrow says:

    I’m 37 years old and I like to think I’ve had pretty good exposure to a lot of what life has to offer over the years. For the life of me though, I cannot explain what is between his legs.

  28. Abby says:

    OMG, what IS that between his legs?????

  29. Miss Jane says:

    Ahahahahahahaha, that caption is brilliant!

  30. Shebazz says:

    Sadly, this was the final photograph taken by the photographer.

  31. Julie says:

    What is that in his crotch region?!

  32. Erin says:

    Um…so is he riding a wolf or is that part of his outfit? Maybe it’s a headlock?

  33. Shawn says:

    What is between his legs and won’t he do a lot of damage to himself if he tries to kill it with that battle axe?

  34. ballfour says:

    Is that a pelt on your kilt or is Fido just happy to see you?

  35. Snorbert says:

    Wow, interesting ‘pants’.

  36. Courtney says:

    Yikes! I hate to see what this guy will do in sixteen years when dates show up for his daughter. I can’t figure out what is in between his legs-is that a wolf head?? ha,ha..can’t say I’ve ever had a family portrait taken like this before..maybe for next year’s Christmas card ;)..or not…

  37. j-lu says:

    that…animal is so distracting!!! why would you wear an animal THERE?! (and I don’t mean the lady wearing the child)

  38. senora_jennifer says:

    Uh, what is going on in the general crotch area?????? And the fence behind them is out of historical sequence, seeing how it appears to be constructed of metal tubing…

  39. Stacey says:

    Why is he wearing pajama pants with a lion coming out of his crotch?

  40. Cam says:

    I’m hesitant to ask, but what is between his legs?

  41. Booyow says:

    The woman and child fine, but if you touch my hair I swear!

  42. Sjoerd says:

    Look out! Behind you!!

  43. d3funct says:

    All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

  44. Queen of the World says:

    What the hell is between his legs? And is he wearing a kilt? Pajamas? A skirt?!?!

  45. SMS says:

    There can be only one!

  46. Dan says:

    Maybe it’s a still from a music video or something, because who in their right mind would publicly display a family portrait like this? This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.

  47. pittipat says:

    Waiting for a compound bow comment…

  48. Cathy says:

    Been staring at this for ten minutes and can’t figure out what the hell is going on there. What is he holding and what, for bejeebus sake, is between his legs? The mom and child look terrified.

  49. Elise says:

    Is that a fox in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

  50. Maggie says:

    What’s the dead thing hanging between his legs??? (No, not THAT…get your minds out of the gutter!)

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