Awkward Family Story: Sofa Shopping

July 7th, 2009

When I was 15 my parents finished part of our basement to make a ‘hangout’ area for me to bring friends over. I couldn’t wait to be out of the eyeline of my parents so I could bring boys over and makeout. We were shopping for sofas and they asked me what I liked better, the sectional or a regular couch. I blurted out, “I like the sexual!” in front of the salespeople and my parents. Oh, it was so awkward.

(submitted by Stephanie)

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Engagement Man

July 7th, 2009

His first attempt was Wolverine and it wasn’t nearly as successful.

(submitted by Trevin)

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Playing Possum

July 6th, 2009

No, I want the opossum to sleep in my bed.

(submitted by Ernie)

The Hanger-oners

July 6th, 2009

That’s what you get for telling your daughter this would be fun.

(submitted by Jordan)

Awkward Family Story: Meet the Dummy

July 6th, 2009

Growing up I’d always been used to being mortifyingly embarassed by my mother, who used to assert that all children felt the same way about their parents. Whilst this is obviously true to an extent, I eventually did realize that my own mother was worse than most.

Settling into university and making new friends is always going to be a big thing, and having two friends to stay at home after a drunken night out, my mother (them being two giggly girls) felt in good company enough to invite them upstairs excitedly whilst I was out of the room. The girls – also in possession of terrible hangovers – mystified but intrigued, followed my mother where they were told to close their eyes for a mere moment. When they opened them, my mother was sitting on the edge of her bed with her brand spanking new ventriloquist doll, apparently deciding it would be an appropriate morning to perform an impromptu comedy sketch. Awkward.

P.S. The doll mysteriously went missing not long after, and while I wasn’t actually responsible, I’m utterly grateful.

(submitted by Tweety)

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