Family Portrait
Death Stare
“Alright. I’m the one on the left with the sweet bangs, and probable curling iron burns on my forehead. Let’s analyze this:
1. The denim. Why, Mom, why?
2. Stain on my stepdad’s knee.
3. Several excellent examples of leaning, particularly my casual elbow on my stepdad’s knee.
4. And the absolute best, my sister’s face. We are all happy to announce she isn’t a sociopath.”
(submitted by Eliza)
The Pre-Photoshop Days
“Circa 1980. There I am in all my split-end, buck-toothed glory, with my had on my mom’s knee. My dad’s thumb and index finger are pressed together per the photographer’s artistic direction. But the best part is that since my oldest brother was away at college and wasn’t able to be in the picture with us, so Mom taped his high school graduation picture right on it.”
(submitted by Christy)
Hug Malfunction
“This is a photo of my twin brother and I with our mom when we were about 5 years old. I went in for a hug and ended up copping a feel. For years I hated seeing this photo hanging on the hallway wall. Now I think it’s hilarious.”
(submitted by Teri)
Strapless 2
“My Nana (the woman in the glasses) won a radio contest for a family portrait. The session ended up being held in a motel and Nana thought it would be a good idea to wear a strapless dress. Also note my Aunt Mimi’s (the girl in her lap) devilish, evil smile.”
(submitted by Bryttany)
Headroom
“My parents had gotten divorced and Dad got remarried right before this was taken. Between the families there were nine kids: my siblings, half-siblings, and step-siblings. The adults had decided to take portraits with all the different family combinations. If I remember correctly, there was lots of arguing about which kids should be in which photo. I think this photo captures our response to the drama.”
(submitted by Kate)
Done With It
“This the last photo from our one and only professional photo shoot with my mom’s side of the family. I have no idea why my grandfather is completely turned around or why my mom and I are lifting up my dress.”
(submitted by Andrea)
A Cut Above
“This picture of my family was taken in 1975. I am in the back, smiling with glasses. No one noticed my youngest brother, Steven, had brought a knife as a prop. Love dad’s bushy sideburns. Love the dated wall paper in our breakfast nook.”
(submitted by Elaine)
Making Faces
“Yeah! The first photo, I’m the one making the ridiculous face. Those were for the church directory and the photographer kept saying: everyone smile now! And I kept making silly faces. My mom was so mad when she saw them! This one was the most normal of the bunch.”
(submitted by Rachel)
The Great Sofa Shortage Of 1974
“I’m the one in the horrible pink velvet dress. I grew up with a mother who was always dressed in the best while we wore fashions typical of these. Not only was it our best, but look how small this dress is on me (way too short and the cuffs are halfway up my arm). Thankfully I was thin so it wasn’t like it was too small (to her). My 2 older sisters were hidden in the back because their dresses were so short also. Of course, she is in the middle and looks like a million bucks.”
(submitted by Cecelia)
