Family Portrait Archives

The Fix Of ’76

“We had a professional photographer come to our house to take a family photo. When we got the photos back, all of them had something wrong– someone’s eyes were closed, weird smile, whatever–except for the last photo, which we thought was perfect and sent out on our Christmas cards. Then…we saw it. I (the youngest) evidently was having underwear creepage that needed to be fixed right then. At that very moment. And to this day, no one will ever let me forget The Great Underwear Fix of 1976.”

(submitted by Sherry)

Skinny Dippers

“Every year for swimming my brother and I take a family photo for the team pictures, but this year the crop job and my hair made it look like we were naked.”

(submitted by Caitlin)

Trouble With The Pose

“My mother took this picture and clearly I was going for the ‘hand on the hip’ pose’, but missed my mark. I don’t know why Mom didn’t point out that it looks like I’m punching myself. (And this picture was framed at my grandparent’s house.)”

(submitted by Amber)

Lean In

“I don’t know what this pose is all about. It looks like our backs hurt or we are all going to puke in the next 10 seconds. All my friends say it looks like an advert for a family-TV-Show in the early 90s but I think the photo is from 2001.”

(submitted by Britta)

Parrot Patrol

(submitted by Jamie)

Blue Ribbon Baby

“I was a newborn when my Mother and Father took me to the photo studio at the department store to have my first ‘professional’ photos taken for family. My Dad thought it would be funny to put me holding a beer. The real question is why did he have a Pabst Blue Ribbon at the department store?”

(submitted by Jeremy)

String Theory

“I confess I’m the father in this picture. I was understandably reluctant to have my picture taken, but I must have relented on a particularly unfortunate day. The pornstache, the pudge, the restrained toddler and squashed-face baby, and the violin that nobody played….all a perfect family tableau. I do not miss the 90s.”

(submitted by Mark)

Tree-creation

“The first picture was taken in 2000, and the recent one was taken in 2015. This tree was in our grandfather’s front yard, and every kid to grow up in the family played in this tree. Our Father captured the cute photo of us as children and it kind of became “The picture” that everyone hung in their houses. After 15 years we decided to recreate ‘the picture’ and it was hilarious.”

(submitted by Alexandra)

Family Appreciation Day

“Pictured here: my sweet, loving grandmother, my sister, her husband and their cute baby boy. The nursing home set up a photo studio and invited the families of residents to come in for a FREE family portrait for their annual ‘Family Appreciation Day.” This is the photo we got! It’s inexplicable that the photographer let this one slide, but now we have this delightfully tragic image to feel weird about for years to come. Thanks?”

(submitted by Fran)