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Mysterious Package

“In 1996, I asked my Mom to mail a metronome to me in college.”

“I renewed my driver’s license. Thanks to the idiot who stamped the photo, I’m now Quasimodo.”

“Found this racy autobiography at my in-laws’ house.”

“Finally, an answer to the question, do the raccoons on a beach in Panama City, FL, like Fritos?”

“I was wondering what the stain on the elevator floor was this morning. Then I found this posted on the front doors.”

“My friend received a surprise in the mail.”

“I was bored in the car and tried to match my face to Abe Lincoln on the $5 bill. It worked.”

“Tenants complained that when they used the dryer their clothes smelled like urine. Did some investigation and solved the case.”

“My buddy kept asking to use my Amazon Prime, so I loaded up my cart before letting him log in.”

“How my professor puts her computer to sleep.”