November 17th, 2010

Self-Defense - Family Portrait

Just pray you never get the fan.

(submitted by Morgan)

93 Responses to “Self-Defense”

  1. Plurabelle says:

    The kid with the fan got totally screwed in the weapons department.
    This picture has a lot of activity going on with patterns and textures. I feel visually assaulted.

  2. Tyler says:

    awwww my dads only a lawyer ….. jealous

  3. Krejaton says:

    Rejected actors for ABC’s No Ordinary Family.

  4. Krejaton says:

    The family that bludeons together, stays together!

  5. El Kev says:

    I guess they left their compound bows at home.

  6. SailorCardKnight says:

    Wonder if that one girl is a Bleach fan. That white sword looks alot like some replica of Rukia’s Zanpakutou…

    • Kelly says:

      OMG IT’S SODE NO SHIRAYUKI! I didn’t even notice.

      Win… Everyone’s talking about the fan, and she’s got an unsharpened cosplay sword.

      Maybe when you come of age you get to harness the power of the BBQ tongs.

  7. Joshua says:

    Wow. This is impressive. On the very extreme side of self defense though.

  8. L.Walker says:

    heh i have a fan sort of like that – they’re stainless steel boned and pretty heavy. close it and swing. great for walking in dark alleys!

  9. Q says:

    Don’t joke about the fan, those things are burly. One could take a solid, bruising poke from a closed fan.

  10. Nikita says:

    The fan can actually be used tactically–open it loudly in someone’s face and then kick them in the balls. I’m serious.

  11. Rebecca says:

    Don’t knock the fans. Bet they deliver a pretty mean paper-cut.

  12. MArlene says:

    Wow folks, I’m beyond impressed with all the hilarious captions on this one! Even more than I usually am! I’m still in tears from the “ninja accountants” comment!


  13. HeyHey says:

    I would hate to be the kid that takes little Suzy out on her first date… “10:00 curfew? No problem Mr. Ninjanson, I’ll have her home by 8:30!”

  14. KJ says:

    Num-chuck skills…. fan skills…. sword skills…. computer hacking skills….. This family has SKILLS!

  15. Jennifer says:

    “You wouldn’t punch a karate master with glasses, would you?”

  16. Alan says:

    Whose idea was it to design those dark uniforms with a bright, easy-to-see target sewn right over the heart?

  17. Canucklehead says:

    I love this family!! How awesome to have something they’re all into 🙂 Rock on!

  18. susie says:

    Maybe she uses the fan to waft poison vapors at you.

  19. Steve says:

    Who needs compound bows? We have mad Japanese karate and weapon skills!

  20. Alexa says:

    I can just see them slouching around the house on a regular day, buttering their toast with those katana.

  21. Erin says:

    Is it just me or does this photo get funnier the longer you look at it? With their matching glasses this family looks like a bada$$ clan of accounting ninjas…

  22. KR says:

    Our kung fu is strong…. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ya!

  23. Carol says:

    You know you take yourself too seriously when…..

  24. db says:

    Echoing what Heather said — fan weapons were designed for women back in the day as self-defense tools. The tips of the ribs in the fan had knife-points or small spikes to rake across an attacker’s face or throat.

    That said, still an awkward photo…

  25. Shawn says:

    I bet if they shot a video of Mom going crazy with those nunchucks it would go viral instantly!

  26. FL Mom says:

    All those weapons are just distractions from the real danger: the daggers shooting from their eyes. If looks could kill. And for pete’s sake, take the size tags off the belts.

  27. wam says:

    The glasses are top of the art full-sensor total perspective Glasses that can analyse heat signatures and movements. AYaaaaaaaa!!!

  28. PaulaNancy says:

    Glasses in about an hour. Or else…

  29. Ruth says:

    Anybody that breaks into this family’s home will live to regret it…they just won’t live for very long, that’s all.

  30. Kitten K. Boodle says:

    Aren’t those nunchucks that Mom is holding?

    Don’t laugh at the fan: she could throw that thing as fast as an arrow and cut your throat!

  31. the1poman says:

    Why so serious?

  32. Alice says:

    Mom has a giant pair of tweezers.

  33. Chris Christenson says:

    …an hour later they had the desire to take the picture all over again…

  34. Mick says:

    Chuck Norris has a little known step brother named Buck Norris…

  35. Heather Smith says:

    Okay, so, not to diminish the humor here, but in kung fu, the fan is actually known as more of a woman’s weapon, but it can be brutal! The way it goes is, the unassuming-looking young woman carries her fan, but when she needs to protect herself, she whips it open and it is actually made of blades. Fan form is pretty cool-looking (and sounding) when it’s done well!

  36. Pipergirl says:

    Mum’s got the perfect ninja hairdo!

  37. Jacobunny says:

    I hoped they docked the photographer’s fee for forgetting to yell “cheese” or “smile” or “*insert similar*” before taking the shot. I mean, I sure it was supposed to come across as a fun family experience???

  38. IanK says:

    Is Mum holding a pair of kitchen tongs?

  39. Bobbin V says:

    The family that slays together, stays together

  40. Jon says:

    The family that slays together…STAYS together!

  41. Linda says:

    That fan might blow you away!

  42. Miss Piggy says:

    Brilliant caption! I thought Mom had a pair of BBQ tongs too, at first…

  43. woweezowee says:

    Grey crushed velvet, nice

  44. Jennie says:


  45. John says:

    NINJAS!!!! Aiiieeee!

  46. LKT says:

    OMG! We need to introduce this family to the Van Helsings!!! Bahahahaha!

  47. Kathy says:

    The Force is strong with these. Not really.

  48. Les says:

    And tune in next week for family combat hour: Who will win the ultimate family smack down, The Van Helsings or The Self-Defense family?

  49. Dr. Blah says:

    Awww she got demoted.

  50. PDX PIG says:

    Are those volleyball ninjas?

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