Woman High On Painkillers Thinks George Clooney Performed Her Medical Procedure

April 21st, 2017

Painkiller-induced ramblings after surgery have been a wellspring of viral videos for years, but this one is even more surreal than usual.

Emily Young was filming her stepsister Kayleigh while Kayleigh was recovering from an in-vitro fertilization procedure. Still woozy from the pain meds, Kayleigh gave a shoutout to someone unexpected: George Clooney. Kayleigh insisted that not only did the Batman & Robin star appear during her treatment, he personally carried it out.

“George Clooney did my retrieval, and he got 25 eggs,” she says in the video.

Over the course of the video Kayleigh runs quite the emotional gamut, from disbelief that the hospital could book the busy actor, to mortification that he “saw [her] vagina.” Which is understandable. One of my biggest fears is that a celebrity would see my privates.

But overall, Kayleigh thinks George’s appearance is a sign of good luck for her fertilization prospects. “Because it was George, I just feel like it might work,” she explains. Hear, hear.

Watch the video below:

H/t: Daily Mail

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Dear Lisa

April 21st, 2017

Dear Lisa - Mom

“No wonder Dad hid mom’s high school yearbook from me as a kid.”

(via source)

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When 4th Grade Me Accidentally Showed My Parents’ Homemade Porn To The Entire Class

April 21st, 2017

When 4th Grade Me Accidentally Showed My Parents’ Homemade Porn To The Entire Class - Stories

Reddit user rniscior shared this story of the time he nearly traumatized his whole class during show and tell. 

I’ve never spoken about this since it happened, but out there somewhere, there are 30 former fourth graders who, if asked, can recall the horror on my face.

It all began the summer of 1995. We had taken a family trip to Mammoth Caves in Kentucky. My dad brought a camcorder he had recently purchased and taped many of the tours we went on. We had a great time. 

Fast-forward to the school year.

We were studying geology at the time, and my teacher decided to incorporate this into our regular show and tell session. We were to gather rocks from our neighborhoods and bring them into class. Naturally I recalled the awesome rock formations I had seen at Mammoth Caves, and asked if I could bring the video instead. My teacher was thrilled, and agreed. 

Sounds good so far. 

I went home and asked my mom and dad if I could share one of the tapes. They agreed and told me I could retrieve the tapes myself. 

Now, let me backtrack a little before I get to the nitty gritty. I was a very curious kid. I would sneak into anywhere I could just to explore and see things. My parents’ bedroom was one of the locations I would sneak into. That’s how I knew about the camcorder tapes in their dresser. 

Uh-oh. 

I grabbed one of the camcorder tapes from their dresser. It was marked “#3.” I think I figured  it was labeled that way because my dad took so many videos on the trip, and I had never really seen him use the camcorder for anything else. I put the tape in my backpack, never expecting the horror that was to come. 

Show and tell day was finally here. I couldn’t wait to knock the socks off of everyone with my videos of stalagmites, stalactites–

I could make a very juvenile joke here, but I won’t. 

–and cave rooms filled with glittering quartz. At last my turn was next! My teacher rolled the TV/VCR to the front of the room and announced, “You’re all in for a verrry special treat!” She popped the video into the VCR and pressed “Play.”

I immediately recognized my parents’ bedroom on the TV screen. “Huh, thats odd,” I thought to myself. Then, in the corner of the screen, my mom appeared. In lingerie. Followed by my dad. In a Speedo!

Ohhhh god!

My teacher realized what was happening and raced to shut off the TV before the class witnessed anything rated “R.” We only saw ten seconds of footage, but it seemed to last an eternity. It’s still burned into my memory, along with the uproarious laughter of 30 ten-year-old kids. 

Brutal. But there’s more. Of course there’s more. 

My teacher grabbed the tape and called me to the hallway. I was in tears. Mortified. She asked me what the hell I was thinking. I told her I had no idea what was on the tape. Luckily she believed me, but she still had to send me to principal’s office. The principal called my parents and told them to come to school pick up the tape. 

That’s going to make for an awkward Parents’ Night. 

I was sent back to class. I’m 30 now, and stepping back into that classroom was the single most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was ridiculed for weeks. 

As for my mom and dad, they never spoke of the incident with me. I’m sure they figured the embarrassment was punishment enough. They never came to get the tape, either. 

THEY LEFT THE TAPE AT THE SCHOOL?! 

If you’re the parents, both choices here are terrible. Either you go retrieve the tape, and have to face everyone at the school, or you let your personal porn remain in the wild for anyone to find. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably just change my name and move to another state. Does The Witness Protection Program help people in this situation? They should. 

In any event, this is a reminder for everyone out there to ALWAYS hide your personal porn well. Hide it in the walls, if you have to, or bury it in the yard. And for goodness sake, don’t label it something innocuous because that’s how it gets seen by accident. You might as well label it “Mom and Dad Having Sex.” No kid’s gonna watch that.  

Also, I’m 100% sure the teachers all watched the tape. 

h/t: Reddit

 

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Pizza Time

April 21st, 2017

Pizza Time - Photos

“So my friend did something really dumb today.”

(via source)

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Stayin’ Alive

April 21st, 2017

Stayin’ Alive - Dad

“My father back in the 70’s.”

(via source)

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Single City

April 21st, 2017

Single City - Photos

“My younger brother got married last weekend. I am now the only unmarried sibling. The photographer captured my awkward pain.”

(via source)

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20 of The Most Creative Recreations Of Childhood Photos

April 20th, 2017

20 of The Most Creative Recreations Of Childhood Photos - Awkward Galleries

Kids have often proven to be the best photo subjects. Their honesty in front of the camera and their lack of self-consciousness makes for photos that instantly become family keepsakes. In recent years, people have been recreating their childhood gems, tapping into their inner child to rediscover silly facial expressions, goofy poses, just plain sense of fun. Check out this gallery of our favorite childhood recreations below.

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